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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Everything_is_Hidden Repressing Emotions
  • replies: 2

When I was younger, I was physically bullied a lot. I had the mindset that no one would believe me if I told them that a 12 year old was physically attacking a 6 year old, so I pretended everything was fine and forced out a lot of emotions, pretendin... View more

When I was younger, I was physically bullied a lot. I had the mindset that no one would believe me if I told them that a 12 year old was physically attacking a 6 year old, so I pretended everything was fine and forced out a lot of emotions, pretending to be happy. I told people that I had no idea where my bruises, scars and cuts came from, and they just shrugged and said, "ok then". Until one day when I was 9. I was in music, we were sitting in a circle so everyone could see everyone else, and this guy. He physically assaulted me. But what hurt most, was when I decided to tell mum what actually happened. She just chuckled, pegged it on my imagination and showed my (mind you, impressive) bump to her friend. So I started repressing everything. I lost my temper a lot, and didn't like interacting with people, apart from toxic friendships that I forced myself into thinking I would be safer like that. It also didn't help the whole repression thing when mum said I couldn't listen to Lady Gaga music just because she was part of the LGBT community. I'm lesbian, so it made me more scared to share things. Now, I'm pretty messed up. I still get blamed for my temper, and when I told mum the full truth about my bullying problems she yelled at me for "not trying to tell her sooner". I have several anxiety and depressive disorders now, as well as psychotic depression and almost PTSD. I don't think I can officially call it that though. I sometimes act like a psychopath, and all because no one ever believed me. So uhh yeah.

Keerio First timer in a crisis! - Anxiety, Depression and working in a toxic environment
  • replies: 2

First Timer here... I am 23 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 9 years ago. It comes in waves but was worse when I was younger, I will be okay for 2 months or so at a time before a breakdown, then I pull myself back up again and continue t... View more

First Timer here... I am 23 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 9 years ago. It comes in waves but was worse when I was younger, I will be okay for 2 months or so at a time before a breakdown, then I pull myself back up again and continue the cycle. I have worked since I was 14, finished year 11 and got a diploma in the travel industry that I quickly found that I didn't want to work in (crappy pay & no enjoyment traveling 1+hrs for work). When i was 18-19 I was employed into the local family business (my father never wanted me to work there as it's a toxic environment and ruined the relationship between my parents and grandparents over the years of stress and not to mention everybody has anger issues) 4.5 years later, i work 5 and a half days a week still and I am lost. I spend the days working ( i am great at my job can run the shop on my own for weeks at a time without supervision or help from others, but it is unfulfilling and we deal with aggressive customers constantly... which me a stress-head cannot handle) After work and on my 1 and a half days off all I want to do is relax and do nothing. My dad and I have big arguments, he has thrown chairs at walls within shop hours, screams in my face and hurls pure abuse at the worst of times. But is also the nicest man I have ever met, so giving and pays me generously and gives me days off. After running the store for 3 weeks no issue I had a question about a customer I needed resolved so asked him before work. He clicked it and ended up screaming through the bathroom door calling me useless, that i cant do my job etc when it was no big deal. I broke down sobbing and refused to go to work and have finally had enough as I am sick of being treated this way when all I do is help everyone else out (these arguments over nothing happen every 2 or so months in-line with my breakdowns). Have been hiding at my boyfriends for 4 days and dad has texted me saying he loves me but i wont reply, i am scared of him and i dont want to face confrontation which is inevitable as nothing has been discussed. A co-worker was supposed to take leave next week but now nobody to cover, do i offer to work for the week and pocket some extra cash? I told him I quit that day and I don't know what to do, i have minimal savings which will only cover my spending money for a 4 day trip already planned and payed for in 2 and a half weeks time. I have no interests, career goals, i want to study but don't know what. Any advice? Thanks

two-dee What am I going to do with myself?
  • replies: 8

Two days ago my university results came out and unsurprisingly, there weren't too many good things that came out of them. I'm in first year studying Law and this is only the first semester, so I understand if they might not be the most outstanding. I... View more

Two days ago my university results came out and unsurprisingly, there weren't too many good things that came out of them. I'm in first year studying Law and this is only the first semester, so I understand if they might not be the most outstanding. I barely passed three out of my four subjects, failing one by the slightest of margins. As a result, I have to sit a supplementary exam in a week's time and hearing the news simultaneously made my heart sink and feelings of anxiety reaching an all time high. I have been told many times by my parents about members of our extended family who had to sit them when they were in university, but this didn't do much for me at all. Out of the four subjects that I had to do, this was by far the most challenging and I made quite an effort to study for the real exam as I am for this supp exam. I made a proposition to both of my parents; if I fail this exam, I will have no choice but to defer from my course effective immediately as I do not see myself going anywhere by repeating another semester worth of the same content I hated in the first place. I have hated the university life ever since I stepped foot on the campus, but I can tell deep down that my parents (more-so my Mum) would prefer for me to stay there, even if they're not admitting it outright. I just don't know what I am going to do with myself if I do end up going down this path (which seems increasingly likely at this point in time). I could potentially find some work via Centrelink, but that's about it. I do not have anyone I can consider a friend to hang out with (which is probably for the better imo), I do not have any noteworthy hobbies, and the absolute hole of a city that I live in (Adelaide) has nothing fulfilling to do; everyone is born to die here. As you can tell, I care about my future way too much compared to the average person and fear that I will end up as yet another unproductive member of society, destroying his body with alcohol, and increasingly ready to throw in the towel on his life altogether.

spontaneous sunflower Struggling with final years of school due to depression + anxiety
  • replies: 3

hi. So last year I had a really bad depressive episode that caused me to miss a lot of school. I ended up getting prescribed medication and I moved schools at the end of the year. I was doing pretty well and enjoying my new school up until a couple m... View more

hi. So last year I had a really bad depressive episode that caused me to miss a lot of school. I ended up getting prescribed medication and I moved schools at the end of the year. I was doing pretty well and enjoying my new school up until a couple months ago. I have a habit of breaking down around autumn/winter, I guess it's kind of seasonal depression. Since May I've been missing a lot of school and overtime I feel myself getting worse and worse as I realise how deep the hole I've dug for myself is now. I am so behind on schoolwork and I don't know how I'll catch up. there's about 3 weeks of term 3 left and then term 4 marks my last term as a year 11 before embarking on my final year. I'm not ready to do my final year of school. In some ways I am- e.g. I can't wait to finish high school, and I'm smart enough to get good grades (it's just that due to my mental health problems my grades are falling). But for the most part I feel unprepared. I've missed so much school last year and this year. I don't think I'll cope next year in year 12, especially when it comes to this time of the year. My parents + school have suggested staying another year at school but I don't want to. I want to graduate at the same time as my friends and I just want to get out of high school. Sometimes I worry how I'll cope in "the real world" if I've struggled this much in high school, but I honestly feel like high school is the thing suffocating me. I see how doing another year of high school could be beneficial but I also can't help but feel like it'll make my mental health worse. I'm just so confused and conflicted because I don't know what to do- I don't want to drop out unless I have something to fall back on. I don't want to repeat a year unless as a last resort. But I also don't want to damage my health anymore than I already have by pushing myself through year 12 when I'm not ready. I think because I'm on meds + having really been in a dark place last year, although I'm struggling right now, I know I've been worse. But I know that i'm heading towards a dangerous place- my anxiety has wrecked my social life and I have serious body image issues now, so it's just a matter of time before those issues spiral into something even bigger + more serious. I don't want it to get to that though and I'm trying to fight it as much as I can. I want to be happy and I want to do well in life. I know I'll get there one day but rn i've hit a roadblock and I don't know how to get around it.

LiamWL98 No body likes me and when someone does something stops me
  • replies: 6

Let’s start from the beginning I moved to a new home in a place I’m not use to and I made friends and this was in year 6 , I’m now in high school, year 7 and also I was in a grade 5/6 classroom and most of my friends are in grade 6 right now and now ... View more

Let’s start from the beginning I moved to a new home in a place I’m not use to and I made friends and this was in year 6 , I’m now in high school, year 7 and also I was in a grade 5/6 classroom and most of my friends are in grade 6 right now and now that I have came into high school with only 2 friends and one of them isn’t really in our friend group now. So now I’m in a class with only 1 friend and I only hanged out with that one friend and I never really tried to make new ones because all the people in the class seem to thing strongly think that they’re cool and have a bunch of power over someone else and only 3 people in that group even somewhat like me as a friend but not enough to hang out with me. I want to hangout with them but at the same time I don’t wanna ditch my other friends because he doesn’t like them and only 2 people like my other friend and the other friend who really isn’t in our friend group got into a scrap with them. I’m at the point where I can’t make friends cause I’m not genuinely funny or someone is stopping me and then my emotions and sympathy stops me. more about me: I consider myself very friendly other then when I first meet someone sometimes I randomly be rude because it was my first time meeting them and to be honest those are never my true feelings so I can be a doosh and I have tried to stop doing that and I am seeing progress. I am not to bad of a judge of character (sometimes) and I’m very good with body language and listening to people and their problems. I can get along with people unless they’re up them selfs or think they’re more cool then someone else. please give some advice

Taz_a18 I want to move out of home but I'm under 18 and my parents control every moment of my life
  • replies: 6

i live at home with my dad, step ,mum, and three sisters, and i feel like i am living my parents life through me. everything i do is monitored by my parents, everything i say is monitored. i am not aloud to choose what i wear because i dress like i a... View more

i live at home with my dad, step ,mum, and three sisters, and i feel like i am living my parents life through me. everything i do is monitored by my parents, everything i say is monitored. i am not aloud to choose what i wear because i dress like i am "homeless." My parents read my texts with my boyfriend and misinterpret them into thinking I've had sex, they track me through my phone to see where i am and think i see him when i am just walking home or at work, they don't believe me when i tell them otherwise. i haven't had sex yet they don't believe me, but when i am ready for it, i want that to be my choice and no one else. My parents see me as the smart child, and i'm the only one they are expecting to go to uni. my mental health has stopped me from doing as good in school as i used to, yet even though i am still passing all my exams, its not 100% so it isn't good enough. I am not aloud to do anything but study, i am not aloud to go out and see my friends and boyfriend, i literally feel like a caged bird, and i feel like they want me to be someone i am not, and the only person i can be myself around is my boyfriend and certain friends, yet i am not even aloud to see them. the most i see them is whilst i am working and they come through my register. i have to deal with constant criticism and even though i want to be a vet, i am willing to put that off and give up my dream from when i was little, just to get out of home. i am no where near getting the ATAR i need, and i am happy to go to TAFE and just do veterinary nursing then study veterinary science once i have a job in veterinary nursing, but that int good enough for my parents. they set unrealistic expectations, and get mad and disappointed if i don't meet these expectations. i want to move out ASAP, yet even the idea of me moving out would send my parents into a fit. i was helping a friend find a place and they went through my search history and saw that i had looked at granny flats, and they lost it at me. if i just left and didn't come home, i would lose my phone, my laptop, my schooling, my clothes and all my belongings and not have a place to go. if i moved in with my boyfriend then they would know where to find me. i feel trapped and i don't know what to do or what places can help me with moving out. i wouldn't have anything if i just walked out,but it is getting more and more tempting.

AshBaby9 Build up of emotions
  • replies: 2

I’ve been trying for ages to get a job. I’ve built a really good resume, I’m confident when applying in person, and apply as a mix of online and instores but noones taking me even into an interview i know it’s a competitive world but it’s just so har... View more

I’ve been trying for ages to get a job. I’ve built a really good resume, I’m confident when applying in person, and apply as a mix of online and instores but noones taking me even into an interview i know it’s a competitive world but it’s just so hard because I need the money! lately I’ve been feeling so down over a build up of everything but I always come back to this. I feel like if I had a job I’d be distracted, and I would have the money to do the things that bring me down when I can’t afford to do them. i used to be a Christmas casual but I’m needing something more and at least a Christmas job leading up to Christmas! tbh i just feel so alone, I’m loosing all my friends and mentally I’m struggling. Anyone else overwhelmed too!?

Burnedtagent08 I don’t know what to do
  • replies: 1

Hey, So im just gonna get straight to the point (it’s not really straight to the point) I’m talking to my ex we dated like a year ago and then we broke up cause she wasn’t ready but then she started seeing another guy like a month later and she’s on ... View more

Hey, So im just gonna get straight to the point (it’s not really straight to the point) I’m talking to my ex we dated like a year ago and then we broke up cause she wasn’t ready but then she started seeing another guy like a month later and she’s on and off with him and she’s on and off with me. Like she plays games online with him only because she wants to learn as he has experience but she doesn’t want to be with him because he is like 22 and she is 16. And she also doesn’t want to distance her self from him as she is scared of what he will do (which I believe is an excuse for her to stay with him or vice verca) anyways me and her starting talking again and I really like talking to her and being around her because she just makes me happy but I just don’t like how she has to keep talking to her ex that’s a bit annoying cause I get jealous easily and i tend to overthink and assume a lot too so my thoughts are driving me crazy. and then my friends oh gosh my friends I don’t really think they are there for me like the group just feels fake and like I don’t think they really want me there and I just feel left out a lot and it hurts I’ve talked to them about this but it’s happening again. I don’t think they are the right group but they are so judgemental and I don’t wanna leave them cause I do care about them it’s just that I want them to understand me but I don’t really think they seem to care much about my feelings like for example if I went and sat and hanged out with another group they would all be distant towards me and it’d just make me feel excluded and lonely gosh I just feel like I have no support so I came here looking for answers with someone who has experienced something similar

rollerskater1 I want to join a group, have tried, but I get so overwhelmed at all these new people I don't know at all.
  • replies: 1

I moved schools at the start of this year, and all year I have struggled with making friends. I have made a few(around 3-4) but none of them are in one group, and so I've had to choose which social circle I want to join. I am particularly good friend... View more

I moved schools at the start of this year, and all year I have struggled with making friends. I have made a few(around 3-4) but none of them are in one group, and so I've had to choose which social circle I want to join. I am particularly good friends with one person, and she has a group that at first seemed nice, and I have numerous times sat with them, yet failed to make any connections. I don't speak in the group conversations, and several members intimidate me, as I feel as if they are very judgy. Several times I have just got up and left because I was so overwhelmed, and I hate it. I hate not being able to just relax, and join in, and make myself known. The friend I have in the group says I need to speak up more, and that going off will not help(which I agree with), but I have such low self-esteem that I can't join in out of fear. Does anyone know what I should do? Is this a lost cause, and should I try elsewhere, or should I continue to keep trying, despite not feeling great? I dont know what to do; I still have an entire year left of school, and I don't want my final year to be filled with the same stress and anxiety of this one. I have friends outside of this school, from sports and my old school, and it has become so bad at my new place that I feel moving back might be one of the best options, for myself, and my overall wellbeing.

J___ career stress. please weigh in.
  • replies: 3

Hey guys. so I'm in year 10 this year so we have to chose subject for years 11 and 12 aswell as start to think about what we want to do with our selves after school. quite surising to me that alot of the kids in my class have really clear plans of wh... View more

Hey guys. so I'm in year 10 this year so we have to chose subject for years 11 and 12 aswell as start to think about what we want to do with our selves after school. quite surising to me that alot of the kids in my class have really clear plans of what they are doing next or at the least what they want to be, but I have no idea on what I want to do. this isnt much of a problem for me cause i usually just wing things anyway but im not sure i should be taking the same tactic with something like this. Im very lucky and i go to a private school which does mean there is ceratin expectaions for me to do something decent and not end up working a 9 to 5 retail job. I'd love to hear your thoughts whether your going through this now or youve already finished school. have a good day.

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