Young people

I can't accept my mum's relationships

replies: 5

My parents have been divorced for 5 years now, since I was in primary school and my brother was in preschool. At first, everything was fine. We both stayed in my mum's custody and went to see my dad one night a week and every second weekend. Both my ... View more

My parents have been divorced for 5 years now, since I was in primary school and my brother was in preschool. At first, everything was fine. We both stayed in my mum's custody and went to see my dad one night a week and every second weekend. Both my parents moved on quite quickly, both getting partners in the first year of being divorced. My dad's only girlfriend, who is now his wife, is kind, caring, beautiful and I really love her. However, my mum has had 6 relationships since the divorce, 2 being very serious and long term. Ever since her first relationship I have never been extremely comfortable with her partners coming over, or us going on holidays/road trips as a "family". But in the beginning it wasn't that bad, I would get upset or uncomfortable, but that's about it. However, as each relationship went by, I grew more and more anxious, upset, angry, nervous, worried, uncomfortable and confused all at the same time whenever they came over for dinner or we would go to their house. It's now gotten to the point where whenever we are at my dad's house and I just think about my mum with her boyfriend I get anxious and angry. But it doesn't make sense. All of her boyfriends have been kind and caring people, but I still feel this way around them. It's also gotten to the point where I feel I am ruining her life. Nowadays, she has been in her current relationship for nearly 2 years and I'm pretty sure she is considering marriage. The only thing stopping them is me. Every time her boyfriend comes over for dinner, I isolate myself in my room and most times just cry or feel all the above emotions but in extreme versions. And when I find out he is sleeping over, I slam my door, cry profusely and can't sleep. At first, when my mum saw me upset, she always told me it's just a change and I will get over it. But after 5 years of me not being able to breathe when they are around, and it getting worse every day, I don't think I'm ever going to get over it. Eventually, I drive her boyfriend out of the house as he feels bad, and then I just hear my mum sobbing in her room, and it just makes me feel like I'm a burden and the worst daughter in the world, but I can't help it. I try to stay calm and talk to him, but when I try I just feel everything again but even worse and I storm off. My brother has been fine with all her relationships, and that just makes me feel even worse. How can he be younger than me but still accept him? Why can't I just be normal and accept him?

hello

replies: 3

hi everyone, im new to the forums and im here because i told myself i should probably go get help. its not too bad of a problem but thanks if you read through it i dont really know where to start. for a while now ive lost motivation to do anything an... View more

hi everyone, im new to the forums and im here because i told myself i should probably go get help. its not too bad of a problem but thanks if you read through it i dont really know where to start. for a while now ive lost motivation to do anything and ive gotten pretty lazy. its gotten really bad to the point where im failing a class because i didnt do homework. i often yell at myself a lot. the other day i sat in front of the bathroom mirror and cried and yelled at myself about how im so useless and why i always ruin everything. i yell at myself for every little mistake. i made a huge mistake at the start of the year and whenever i think about it i just cry. i cry until i convince myself im weak for crying and eventually i just go back on my phone and pretend nothing happened. a lot of it has to do with people having high expectations of me. ive just given up. i just dont know i dont know anymore i dont know what to write

Feeling trapped again

replies: 1

Hi everyone! I’m new and i’m hoping i can get some help or advice on here. I don’t even know where to begin, all i know is I’ve been suffering from severe anxiety since i was a young teen. The last time i went to seek professional help was probably 4... View more

Hi everyone! I’m new and i’m hoping i can get some help or advice on here. I don’t even know where to begin, all i know is I’ve been suffering from severe anxiety since i was a young teen. The last time i went to seek professional help was probably 4-5 years ago. I actually thought i was getting better, i was doing all these things to distract myself such as doing things that i love, finding happiness in even the smallest things and i’ve also been trying really hard to love myself. I was feeling quite fine until recently, some family issues triggered me. My head started hurting and i felt like i’ve lost all my energy , what’s worse is that my dad thinks I’m an attention seeker (to him, there’s no such thing as mental illness). The only person i can really talk to about my problems is my mum. However, my mum tells me I don’t appreciate my dad enough, the reason him being frustrated. She understands my struggles but thinks I’m the one ruining the relationship between me and my dad. For a while, I’ve been trying to ignore him and i admit I don’t like waking up just to see him every morning. I do this because all he does is bring me down by his actions or words just everything he does doesn’t make my situation any better. And I’ve learnt to stay away from people who keep trying to drag me down. I feel like every thing i do, I would always be the first to be blamed on it really sucks. People who don’t understand me think I’m self-centred but honestly i just need as much help as i can get. I believe I’m stronger than i use to be but sometimes just one bad day can really trigger me and I really want to change that. In that moment I feel as if every step I’ve taken to heal myself was all for nothing. I know this will be a very long journey like it has been in the past and it won’t be easy. If you’re an anxious human being and you’re reading this well you need to know you are not the only one fighting this devil thats chasing you around wherever you go because you are never alone in this fight.

I have severe math anxiety

replies: 4

I'm a 13yr old girl, I fear math and I have math anxiety. Not the small "oh I can't do this question I'm going to fail the test" but my thoughts are "I failed one question. I'm going to fail in life". I'm REALLY bad at math, almost everyone in my cla... View more

I'm a 13yr old girl, I fear math and I have math anxiety. Not the small "oh I can't do this question I'm going to fail the test" but my thoughts are "I failed one question. I'm going to fail in life". I'm REALLY bad at math, almost everyone in my class is either great or good at it--I however-- am bad at it. I applied to join the AAFC and I'm really excited to join. I'm also intending to join the Air Force because it just fascinates me. Thing is, the requirements to join is that you have to keep math all the way up until year 12. I'm not good at math, my head just can't think logically like that and whenever I think of it I either want to cry, do self-arm or just straight up die. Today-- my teacher told me these words when I was in math period 1 & 2, "I saw you doing nothing today in class. What is wrong with you?",she said with a stern face. I replied with"nothing". She then continues with, "is there something else? This is ridiculous! You can't just give up on math like that! So, when there's harder subjects over the years are you going to give up on them as well? It's ONLY YEAR SEVEN" her eyes stared into mine like a deadly disease. My lips quivered and my eyes threatened to spill. "So, is there something else?" she asks once more, "no. It's just the maths", I weakly respond, my knees about to fail on me. "Your father was really happy when you were practicing at home with him, what happened? You just went from--" she mentions with her hand to look like it was on top of a hill, and drops it down like a child sliding down a slide. "--to that." she ends. "If you want to, you can sit down next to me if you want some help", she raises a brow. I think. I knew what she was doing: She was going to put me in front of the class so I would feel embarrassed in front of everybody else. I might have made a short story just then but that was how it went. My mind goes into torture every time I go to math class, I don't have dyslexia or anything but, WHY AM I SO BAD AT MATHS AND CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

Past friends

replies: 5

Hi everyone, I am new to the forum so hope you are all doing well. I am on the edge at the moment as I have left my friend for 10 years due to some reasons that I don't feel very comfortable saying. It hurts me as well that he has done these actions ... View more

Hi everyone, I am new to the forum so hope you are all doing well. I am on the edge at the moment as I have left my friend for 10 years due to some reasons that I don't feel very comfortable saying. It hurts me as well that he has done these actions as we were very close as friends and we new both each other's families etc. Whenever I am out in public I am always on the look out to see if he's there (as we live pretty close) so I know when to hide, I hate doing this it really annoys me as I go out pretty often. I haven't given him a very good explanatory of why I am not friends with him (as I have basically given up on him...) I just blocked him on all social media contacts and left him on the edge although we did not talk often so I guess it doesn't really matter. I am thinking of changing my appearance in public so I don't get spotted but in reality I don't want to do that. Every day I am thinking of my friend and how I should have left him its just non-stop. Hopefully we can get this matter resolved...

So unsure of what to do. Family is a mess

replies: 2

Hi all, Basically my home life isn’t the best. For a long while now my parents have been through constant patches of being okay and not fighting. To fighting heavily And always dragging me into it with their comments. Today was another intense argume... View more

Hi all, Basically my home life isn’t the best. For a long while now my parents have been through constant patches of being okay and not fighting. To fighting heavily And always dragging me into it with their comments. Today was another intense argument involving divorce papers (this isn’t the first time this has occurred) . I have a close relationship with my mum and she suffers from depression. My dad does not understand and always think she is under the influence of something else, he believes mental health is a “myth”. He told me today that I need to grow up and understand her adult problems. I’m 24 and have helped her through all of it after he has left because he can’t deal. This hurt me deeply I work part time and I’m studying social work, I wish I could just leave home but unable too, I’m meant to go on holiday next year. I just feel such a mess on what to do. I want to live my life, but things like this with my family happening a lot bring me down. It makes me question everything and what I’m doing. If anyone has any advice to share, that would be beneficial I would greatly appreciate it. I’m really stuck and unsure of a lot.

I'm over it... SO over it.

replies: 1

this time last year i was in a similar position- not going to school, depressed, days blurring together, etc, only by the end of the month, things were looking up again. This time feels different, because I'm not supposed to be like this right now. I... View more

this time last year i was in a similar position- not going to school, depressed, days blurring together, etc, only by the end of the month, things were looking up again. This time feels different, because I'm not supposed to be like this right now. I was supposed to be happy and thriving. I was supposed to be studying for exams, looking forward to school holidays and hanging out with friends on the weekend. Instead I'm not going to be doing exams, I'm graduating in 2021 instead of next year and I feel absolutely nothing 98% of the time. My parents are supportive and would do anything to help, but they're busy with work. It's selfish but I always wish they put more time into my situation. I wish they called the psychologist when I first asked them to, and I wish they would talk to my school and sort something out. I'm sick of waiting for the psychologist to get back to us. I'm sick of feeling aimless, floating through life, not knowing what will happen next or if anything will happen at all. I'm sick of waiting for something to happen. No one barely ever gets what they want by simply waiting, I know, but I am paralysed. I can't talk to my mum about my feelings anymore because I know what she'll say- "you just have to try." Like geez, if only someone told me that 2 months ago, then I wouldn't be in this situation anymore!!! (note the sarcasm). I know my mum means best, but she doesn't always get it. I don't know what to do, I'm paralysed, I have no motivation most days or at least, motivation to do something that really matters anyway. The most productive things I've done in maybe the past month is bake and clean, which are rather mindless tasks really. I should be emailing my school, getting to bed and waking up early, studying, exercising, taking proper care of myself. But I simply can't. It's like the part of my brain that knows how to do those things is malfunctioning. I want to achieve great things in my life- get good grades, travel, go to uni, become a journalist, make a positive change in the world. But I can't think about doing any of that right now, because I can't do the bare minimum. I want to at least be healthy and fit, and a good student. But I can't go to school or exercise or eat properly or sleep properly. I'm so completely utterly absolutely over it. I just want to be happy and okay. I'm sick of just surviving, I want to LIVE. I'm so over depression and anxiety paralysing me and keeping me from being who i want to be.

Theo has joined the party.

replies: 11

Hello, world. My name is not actually Theo, but it's what I go by. I've decided to join the forums to find support in the case that I start to fall apart. I am a high school that struggles with depression and anxiety. I'm gay, a mega computer nerd an... View more

Hello, world. My name is not actually Theo, but it's what I go by. I've decided to join the forums to find support in the case that I start to fall apart. I am a high school that struggles with depression and anxiety. I'm gay, a mega computer nerd and doodle artist, and I have a small group of friends that I joke around with. I hope I can make some friends here and help others out the best I can, as well as get help for my own problems. Theo.

My self esteem is incredibly low and i do not feel like i have any worth

replies: 3

From a young age my parents have told me that i was "special", my dad told me i was smart and continually told me that i was autistic, not as an insult or anything he meant it as a compliment of sorts or more like a fact (i do not know why he wants m... View more

From a young age my parents have told me that i was "special", my dad told me i was smart and continually told me that i was autistic, not as an insult or anything he meant it as a compliment of sorts or more like a fact (i do not know why he wants me to be autistic and i have never been diagnosed so i do not know where he got that idea from). In primary school i was put into a gifted class, but i never performed as well as anyone else, i struggled with basic maths from around year 4 onwards and complex questions about tax and Pythagoras confused me to no end. Now i am in year 9 and i am in compaction science but i am still struggling in class, i have been scraping Cs in maths still and have only ever gotten one A and that was in french. The delusion that i am "smart" is crumbling and my self esteem as never been lower, i have been thrown into the deep end and my self worth is suffering immensely. I often think that my life means nothing and i will never achieve anything i am terrified about the future, i do not know what i will do as a career even working at McDonalds feels like it would be challenge. Exams are coming up soon and i havent studied at all, it feels like theres no point cause i will fail anyway. I have zero talents i cannot play any instruments, play any sports, i do not excel in any subjects, even things i invest lots of time in trying to get better at like video games i am still bad at (ive only ever achieved low gold in one of the games i play a lot), i even get upset about small things like messing up the spelling of a single word, i cannot answer any questions on IQ tests (admittedly they were online and not that good but i still couldnt answer ANY of the questions). I do not know what to do, i do not know if this is just normal teenage insecurity or something else but i figured because i cant talk to anyone else i ought to post here.

Exams and expectations

replies: 7

I wasn't exactly sure how to describe this, I hope I make sense here. I have always been an above average student. I won a scholarship to a highly prestigious school and everyone that knew me knew me as a really smart person. This has translated into... View more

I wasn't exactly sure how to describe this, I hope I make sense here. I have always been an above average student. I won a scholarship to a highly prestigious school and everyone that knew me knew me as a really smart person. This has translated into huge expectations of myself to perform really well in exams. I always study really hard, up to two months before the exams. However recently, my results have been slipping. It's not like they've been awful, but they've been getting worse. Besides, my school requires scholarship students to be in the top 30% of the grade. I've been doing that, but I've been really depressed lately, as my results are very mediocre. I've been doing really well in class, but when it comes to exams my mindset becomes flustered and I can't perform to the extent of my capabilities. This, combined with my peers' expectations that I will do really well, is really frustrating me, and I find it hard to cope at times. I'm not sporty or musical, and academics is my only main strength. Right now, I'm feeling really useless. I feel so stupid writing this. If you are reading this, thank you.

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