anxiety ruining my friendships

[Little_Rascal]

I feel as of there is a physical wall when I try and leave to see friends, I feel so distressed, im 24 and should be able to go hang out with friends lr answer a phone call, feeling anxious. Wondering of anyone else feels like this and how they combat it? 

When im out im so energetic, I feed off other people's emotions so when I'm alone it's just worries

[AGrace]

Hi FeralCas,

I have responded to you in another thread, but just wanted to say that what you're feeling is very normal for someone with anxiety.

Are you getting professional help with your anxiety? Are you taking medication to help you?

I've lived like this for the past 5 years, constantly feeling like I couldn't plan anything, trying to avoid making arrangements with people, cancelling whenever I did. It certainly can become quite debilitating. Some of the techniques I have successfully tried I've outlined in my threads:

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION

You may wish to have a look and even explore these further, either online, or with a Psychologist. They all take practice, and you need to do most of them regularly. It's also important to remember that every time you stay home rather than going out you are further contributing to the neural pathway that your mind has created that makes you anxious about doing so. It's kind of like the more you do it, the more your mind will have you doing it. The same works in reverse, the more you leave home, go out with friends, chat, or text them, the more you are creating new neural pathways that will lead you to doing these things more frequently.

I'm not sure if you read any of the book recommendations in Jacques thread, but The Brain that Changes Itself explains the above process. There are also a number of books related to social anxiety by David Burns that you might like to look into.

Take Care x

AGrace

[Little_Rascal]

Heya,

Thankyou, I will look at those books mentioned in Jacques post. My internet is playing up atm sorry its been a few days.

How do I find threads? Haha so new.

I text my mates often, its just calling or seeing them I get freaked out about. Ive started yoga, which is a huge thing, ive also stoped a "recreational" activity the I previously used to calm myself down as I thought this was why I was so anti social.  I just feel i'm not worth anyone's time I suppose.

I am seeing a psychotherapist and psychiatrist, and hopefully I can get into some schema based course. they've never really addressed my anxiety or given me ways to combat it, or at least I feel they haven't. Ive been to lots.  they just say you've had it pretty tough, cut yourself some slack you're doing really well, and in my head im screaming "then why can't I be a normal 24 year old and have a social life with out being maggot drunk?" even when I'm drinking if my bf isn't there, I wont get in a taxi or catch a train, then I feel bad cos I can't drive and ive put dutch courage before my friends.

Thank you for your response, you seem to be coping so well, I hope I can be where you are sometime soon, with so much optimism 🙂

[Neil_1]

Hi there FC

Like Amber, I’ve posted to you elsewhere on this wonderful site.

Quick tip:  “how do you find threads?”   Initially the set up can look daunting as there’s so many headings and the like, but it’s a little bit like anything that you discover that is new.  After doing it for a while, it all becomes 2nd nature.  The self-help threads Amber was mentioning in particular to Anxiety and Depression are within those areas on the Beyond Blue forums – kind of where we are – but click on the say, Depression and the guys at Beyond Blue have made these “Self Help Tips …” thread stay at the top, so they don’t get shunted down the list and to end up on Page 2 and beyond.  Hope that helped out.

I’m hearing you loud and clear with everything you’ve said.   I can’t wait for the time when instead of having to phone someone, you can just pick up your keyboard and type something.   You hit post and something will “instantly tell them” they’ve got a message and they can read it and voila, you’ve commenced a conversation without having to talk to someone.  Who knows, maybe there is something like that, but I’m not that tech savvy – I love this site and I love email.  They are my forms of communication that I feel comfortable with – oh oh and texting as well.  But this is better, cause you can write more.

Hmmmm, maybe I need to look at those self help threads myself.

Chat soon I hope. 

Neil

[Little_Rascal]

Thanks Neil 🙂

I love texting!!!! but I get all eager and make plans and then when the time comes to leave I freak out, I can go to work, events like weddings but one on one or small gatherings with friends freak me out or large gatherings with people I don't know freak me out I'm a strange one 😞 I went to the gym today with a chik id only met once, was nervous but it was good, then I couldn't go to the pub with a girl id know for a while 😞

I will go find them soon 🙂

thanks guys

Cas