16 years old worried about alot of things

[MusicMonkey]

Okay so lets cut to the chase.

I'll start of with some background information. I am 16 years of age and I have a huge passion for music. I have been playing lead guitar/vocals for 4 years and have just recently signed up for a tafe course which I am really loving.

So things for me lately haven't been so great (either that or its all in my head). First I moved from a school in which i settled well in to a completely new school that I was told that would have the right music program I would need. Turns out they dont, but I didnt move back simply because I don't want to keep losing mates of mine. I also have a girlfriend who which I have been dating for 4 months now and things have been really good between me and her, although even though things may seem great and all, I just keep getting these worries. And that's why I decided to sign up and create this thread. 

For the last 2 or 3 months I have been worried about losing friends, my girlfriend, and other people. I just keep thinking "what if this happens to them? What if she feels bored with me?" and so on. Even thoughts with my music career in which I wish to pursue. Heck, I haven't played a video game in months because I would either just sit there in my chair trying to figure out what I can do to please people, calm myself, become better. Thats all I do on a weekend. I mean of course I have to do tafe studies and other work. But that's all I do, and I try to treat work as a place where I can just unwind and try to keep my mind off things. And I stress out a lot. Like especially about my relationship with my girlfriend. I constantly worry that I am being to clingy or not giving enough attention.

As for socializing, I haven't been doing much of that. If a few mates ask me to come out for a party I usually just tell them I am not feeling good or I have to do work. And if I were to hang out with some mates its only one other person in which I have been best friend's with since pre school. 

I know this post may seem to lack little in detail but just trying to get some help from others. Maybe some tips on how to cure depression, anxiety? Anything really.

Kindest Regards,

[Mbuna]

Hey MusicMonkey,

The feelings you have described are  definitely symptoms of anxiety. You post does not lack detail at all. You have explained yourself very well. I have anxiety and with it comes a certain amount of paranoia. These feelings are not normal. I suggest that you go and see someone about them. I am not sure if your school has a counseling service. If it does, then that's probably the best place to start. You are only 16. A lot of teenagers go through this so you are not alone.

There is no instant cure for depression and anxiety but it can be controlled. I found that exercise helps me a lot. I am not sure if you are into sport or physical activities at all. A lot of people worry about their relationships (even those without D&A). I think the key is communication. If you think you are being too clingy, just ask your girlfriend. If you are open and honest with each other, then you can often work around these issues. Anxiety is often the fear of the unknown. If you can find the answers you can reduce the amount of things you have to worry about. You are still very young. Go an see someone about the feelings you are having. Once you have the right help, things should start to improve.

Kind Regards

Mbuna

[sos54]

Hi musicmonkey  Boy high school and teenage years can be rough but it is awesome you have a love of music and are obviously great at it. I would imagine moving schools would have had some issues that could have caused you underlying stress and it is pretty normal for all those teenage hormones to cause some problems as well. What is great is that you are aware of it causing you problems and came to look for advise. Mbuna has a great suggestion if you feel comfortable talking to school counsellor. My son [who also loved music] would spend a lot of lunch hours harassing his.

I agree the key is communication and often we build things up to being a problem that really aren't. Some of your thoughts are very typical signs of anxiety - the what if questions. But you can help yourself by challenging those thoughts a little. If you think what if something happens to your friends -  the reality is more then likely it won't, would they want you worrying about that or just enjoying them ? You sound like you are a strong person and if something did I think you would be a great support to have. What if your girlfriend gets bored with you ? well be a positive person to be around, enjoy your own life and the things you love and treat her well and listen to her and enjoy the relationship.  You will probably find in the next few years your life will change as you get to spend more and more time with people with similar interests through Tafe and whatever you do after woods. There is nothing better then people who understand your interests and having something you love like music is fantastic.

I probably should say its great you aren't playing computer games lol but NO I am not one of those oldies. If how you are feeling is interfering with things you enjoy you are right to take some action. I know that feeling of sitting and staring and not being able to get into things I enjoy. I would also say get out - when you get the chance to go with your friends try and make yourself take it. Staying home will just make you feel more low and isolate you from your friends. maybe those parties aren't something you are enjoying any more but maybe you could make some other opportunities to mix and get out doing things you like. Do stuff you love doing.

So take care and come back here talk some more. There are great people with all sorts of experience. Ask any questions you want as well. Have a great day.

[MusicMonkey]

sos54 said:

Hi musicmonkey  Boy high school and teenage years can be rough but it is awesome you have a love of music and are obviously great at it. I would imagine moving schools would have had some issues that could have caused you underlying stress and it is pretty normal for all those teenage hormones to cause some problems as well. What is great is that you are aware of it causing you problems and came to look for advise. Mbuna has a great suggestion if you feel comfortable talking to school counsellor. My son [who also loved music] would spend a lot of lunch hours harassing his.

I agree the key is communication and often we build things up to being a problem that really aren't. Some of your thoughts are very typical signs of anxiety - the what if questions. But you can help yourself by challenging those thoughts a little. If you think what if something happens to your friends -  the reality is more then likely it won't, would they want you worrying about that or just enjoying them ? You sound like you are a strong person and if something did I think you would be a great support to have. What if your girlfriend gets bored with you ? well be a positive person to be around, enjoy your own life and the things you love and treat her well and listen to her and enjoy the relationship.  You will probably find in the next few years your life will change as you get to spend more and more time with people with similar interests through Tafe and whatever you do after woods. There is nothing better then people who understand your interests and having something you love like music is fantastic.

I probably should say its great you aren't playing computer games lol but NO I am not one of those oldies. If how you are feeling is interfering with things you enjoy you are right to take some action. I know that feeling of sitting and staring and not being able to get into things I enjoy. I would also say get out - when you get the chance to go with your friends try and make yourself take it. Staying home will just make you feel more low and isolate you from your friends. maybe those parties aren't something you are enjoying any more but maybe you could make some other opportunities to mix and get out doing things you like. Do stuff you love doing.

So take care and come back here talk some more. There are great people with all sorts of experience. Ask any questions you want as well. Have a great day.

Thanks so much! I'm going to take your's and Mbuna's advice and try to get out more. Also I talked to my girlfriend about me feeling clingy and shes told me that I ain't so that's taken a little bit off my mind. However after talking to my girlfriend about that I guess I should be feeling a ton lot better but really it makes me think more, makes me think that if clingy is not what I am feeling, then why am I still worried of losing her? So I'm going to speak to a school councilor about it first thing on monday and hopefully feel a lot better about it.

[ian6880]

Hi,

They way you think and therefore worry about how your girlfriend/friends will react stay or go indicates to me you are a very deep thinker and always considering others.

But consider this you are young (I am jealous) and you have so many wonderful experiences ahead of you. The fact is they will not all be good, that's life. But the fact also is that you are in charge of how you wish to let these experiences effect you. You can go woe is me why me!! or you can embrace the experiences and find the positive view, I believe their is always one. If you work hard now on your mindset and learn to react and approach things this way it will hold you in good sted for the rest of your life. Consider this I would seriously be considering writing down your thoughts and emotions and turning them into a song, give your emotions a voice and share it with the world. You would be amazed at the good and comfort you could provide to others. You have the perfect weapon "MUSIC" use it.

Work hard on yourself, that's all that you can do. Some friend will come and go others you will have for life that is life. Just enjoy the ride and the moment.

Good luck

Ian6880

[sos54]

That's great news and I hope it all helps. Ian's idea is a good one too - music is great therapy. You show great self awareness and the ability to seek help is a valuable one. It is probably a natural thing to not want to lose something or someone that means a lot to you. It is also great to be able to talk about tat feelings. Building your self will help you to weather the storms and deal when you do lose things. Enjoy every moment and look after yourself well.:)