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Community Member

Hi there.

I'm feeling pretty lost and stuck at the moment. Isolated and undersupported.

A friend made a joke about how the challenges that I've faced in life are me travelling through 9 layers of hell. It felt rather apt at the time, and gave hope that there might eventually be an end to the struggle. I know that's not really the case, that the fight doesn't end; it merely morphs into a different battle.

Anxiety, depression, ADHD, complex emotional trauma- the list goes on.

My latest struggle is finding a new home after being sexually assaulted and having my partner of 6 years leave me for cheating in the aftermath. Money is tight, stress is high, and I don't feel like I'm making any headway. I've never lived on my own, don't feel prepared to do so, but moving back in with my parents isn't an option. It's terrifying. I'm in pretty bad shape to be starting such a journey.

I want someone to hold my hand, encourage me, believe in me and help me push through it all.

I just don't know how to become that person. How do you build yourself up when your own mind works against you?

3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi ElCereza,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im so sorry for all that you have been through.

Have you been able to speak to your gp about the way you are feeling?

You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

How do you build yourself up while your own mind works against you?
In my lived experience I had a real tug of war with my own mind, my own mind bought me to despair……. How was I going to rise up?

I decided to confront it head on, I had professional help I learned that I wasn’t my thoughts but the watcher of my thoughts…………..

No matter what my thoughts where I learned to allow them to be there and not to become attached to them.

My mental health journey taught me so many things and one of them is to always hold onto hope…… I have come out the other side of the tunnel a newer stronger me, it was tough but well worth the battle.

There is hope that you too can come out the other side of the tunnel.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello ElCereza, when we struggle through life and if you have been sexually assaulted and your partner leaves you because of their cheating on you, then several chapters in life need to be pushed aside but you need help in being able to do this, it's too difficult to do by yourself because there are specific points you are unable to banish them away.

Living by yourself slowly builds the determination you require, it may not happen at once because you're apprehensive but as each day passes, slowly you build up your strength and begin to explore different avenues.

This is when you begin to list your finances, rent/mortgage, groceries, utilities and pleasure spending, the budget might be tough for a little while, but then each season can allow you to save or spend so more.

When you are able to get help for these conditions then your mind may still doubt whether or not to allow you but your decision has a more positive attitude than a negative one and that's what will help you grow and like living by yourself.

Best wishes.


Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi there and welcome to the beyond blue forums.

It can be difficult to pick yourself up when you have negative thoughts telling you otherwise - at least that has been my experience. What worked for me were things like journals, recognising what I have done. Retelling my story. This is what worked for me. We all have different ways of doing this.

The things that have happened to you says more about the other person. You did not deserve any of it! You are deserving of love and support from family and friends.

That you came here to work out a way forward is a positive. It takes courage and strength to post your story not knowing how others might react. Both petal and Geoff offered good ideas for you.

And if you want to chat some more...