Talking to my manger gives me anxiety

[Patches89]

I have been working in a company for last 2 years. Despite going through depression I used to enjoy work and I loved my team. It felt like work was the only good thing happening in my life. Everything was going fine until they decided to make my supervisor and my manager redundant. And there was a new manager on board. All my workmates started to leave the company and m left with a completely new team. I don’t have a luxury to leave this job cause its very difficult to find another job with my short term visa status. I hate my job. I just look for a n excuse not to go to work so much so that I’ve almost run out of all my sick leaves.

This new manager is very hard to approach and he is not at all a people person. He even makes us feel like we’re not important. I get negative vibes whenever he is around. I don’t know if it is because I’ve heard so much negative about him or whatever. I just don’t like being around him. It makes me feel so uncomfortable.

Now my problem is i want to go to visit my parents back home for 6 weeks and I don’t know how to approach him. Just thinking about it makes me feel so stressed and anxious. It is embarrassing to discuss about this stress with anyone. Everytime I think about telling him, I have sleepless night.

[TimC]

Hey Patches89,

I experienced similar myself at a previous job. The team I was working in got re-shuffled, and I ended up developing anxiety working under a new manager who was unkind, and held unrealistic expectations. The good news is that there is definitely help out there to help manage anxiety if you need it! I'd certainly recommend seeing your GP to start a mental health plan for access to psychological services, or medication if both you and your GP feel it necessary. I can also recommend Headspace's free meditation recordings if you're so inclined, I found it very helpful myself just to take some time to ground myself before re-approaching the day. I also found it helped immensely with my sleeplessness.

With regards to your immediate issue, have you considered approaching your manager while in the company of a friendly colleague? Having that emotional and social support can be incredibly reassuring when it comes to having conversations we'd rather avoid. It might also be worth thinking about whether your line manager is the best person to request personal leave from. Some work places might have roster managers, daily organisers, or business managers who may be more amenable to the conversation, but also more appropriate to direct the question to in the first place.

Best of luck with managing the anxiety, and visiting your parents! Anxiety is definitely something you can overcome.

All the best,

Tim

[IsaJett]

Hi Patches 89

I remember having that happened to me ..it completely sucked ....i just didn’t have good vibes about the new manager and I just cringe if i had to talk to him . It was horrible for me because I kept trying to avoid him .And it was causing me lots of angst. And then I thought about why he could possibly be so annoying . it would not be an easy task for him to come in in his capacity and he be struggling too I reckon . I had to keep working there ..so one day I just greeted him as I got in ...and asked if I could get him a coffee . I just thought I get to know him instead .hahaah and the look on his face was priceless. From that point on things took a turn for the better . I found that I really liked working under my old manager ....and when this new person came in with all the changes I totally despised him ...and in my head ...i made him to be the monster ...he wasn’t . Hahah

It took me about a month of angst ...to finally pluck courage to give him a chance to be a good manager .

So I suggest you can try something different .. I dont know ..throw him a compliment or something ...nice tie ....or ...so cold today isn’t it ....or would you like a gum ??

..something something ,,,lol....and it break the ice hopefully

I hope this helps you ..