Support needed for Supporters

[JAC25]

We need more Support for the Supporters and loved ones who care for people going through anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions - we are surrounded by it - more than half my closest friends are suffering from mental health issues, and I've just been to the funeral of a young man who was suffering for years battling anorexia, fundamentally also a mental health condition. I want to be there for all of my friends and family to do what I can to help and support and care for them, but often we don't know how to do this, what the right words are, and when to read the signs that things are not good! Now that our friends have lost a family member, their son, their brother, the brother of my daughter's friend ... how do we continue to help?

[white knight]

Hi JAC, welcome

Thankyou for an important post.

Awareness of carers, family and friends of the mentally ill is an ongoing and difficult process carried out by all organisations like Beyond Blue.

In some cases carers aren't being considered by there person they are caring for. By this I mean, it is sometimes the easier route for someone with depression, for example, to not make effort in helping the carer with their daily routine. We often have cases of the carer working full time and returning home to a partner that remains in bed expecting full care when the carer has spent the day working- often this situation isn't sustainable.. In the following thread you can GOOGLE, it outlines the minimal effort a person should try to meet for the sake of the wellbeing of their carer-

Beyondblue topic who carers for the carer?

The main issue though that the mentally ill have is that for obvious reasons they feel all alone. Few people if any really understand and few want to. These are people with illnesses you cannot see. Google

Beyondblue topic they just wont understand-why?

We feel ostracized, always on the fringe of any group or team sport. We think differently and struggle with communication. People will choose the easier option of seeking friendships without the therapy chats every day. That's why this forum exists.

I hope that helps answer your questions.

TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi JAC25,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post.

You're absolutely right - we do need more support for supporters. I feel like this is a bit of a never ending battle, because they'll always be people who need supporting.

In terms of how to help, this is such a broad question. In one sense, there's lots of resources out there, but in the other sense, it can be impossible because everyone experiences things so differently. The right words for one person are going to be different to what another person really needs to hear.

I think the biggest thing from my own experience, is trying. When people try to say the right things or do the right things - that matters to me. Even if it's not totally what I need to hear or it doesn't help completely, it's something. Often with mental illness it's incredibly isolating. People run away because they don't know what to do or how to respond. So even just sitting with someone in their pain can be so incredibly powerful.

If you have any questions, please ask. I'm not sure if this post has been helpful or not. The other thing you might like to look at is our sub threads on caring -

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/supporting-family-and-friends-with-a-mental-health-condition-(carers)