Hello there!

[creativebec]

I am here on suggestion from my neuro psychologist to reach out to like minded people who are going through similar things to myself... So here I am.

I am a nearly 38 F from QLD, who has a neurological disorder as well as a range of mental disorders ( I'm really not sure if illnesses is really the correct term).

Anxiety, depression and PTSD are my main demons. You see, ever since I was a child, I have had to deal with trauma. The main catalyst was when my older brother was murdered 24 years ago.

I've had broken family relationships, people bully and harass me, been assaulted physically and sexually, also had to grieve for numerous family members in such a short time period.

So there's no wonder I am in such a dark space right now.

Please tell me there is light at the end of this tunnel. I know logically there is, but.. at the moment it's hard to see it.

Nice to meet you all.

[PamelaR]

Hi Creativebec and welcome to our forums

It's pleasing to see you have reached out to our community for like minded people. You've definitely come to the right place. And yes, there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel!!

Being in a dark place is so scary isn't it? Not trusting people, never feeling safe, life looks so gloomy - all so awful. My heart goes out to you Bec. I too have PTSD, anxiety and depression. To get out of that dark hole you find yourself in, is hard work, takes commitment and is time consuming. However, there is a beautiful light at the end, which can dim occasionally, but overall it is such a great place to be.

It's also great to hear you are going to a Neuro psychologist. I am assuming you are being taught how to change the way you think, so that you can change how your neurotransmitters send messages in your brain. Would this be about right? I've done that. It does take a little work, but as you get the hang of it, the easier it becomes and those new pathways in your brain are created!

Once this happens it doesn't mean the mind won't forget all the trauma, what it does mean is - your body won't respond in the same way it used to when it gets triggered. For example, one of my major triggers is/was red checked shirts (that appear in the men's dress shops, and on the street during autumn and winter). I used to go into a full blown panic attack - palpitations, sweating, hyperventilating, vomiting. This lead to major depression.

After years (9-10) of work with 3 different psychologists (each one giving me loads of tools) I can now look at the shirts in the store and say. Yes, I burnt one of those 7 years ago and along with it all those memories. Now, I can keep on walking and feel okay without any anxiety. I've come a long way.

So yes, it is hard Bec. This is a safe environment and there are quite a lot of us who have PTSD, anxiety and depression for many reasons. If and when you are feeling up to it, have a browse of our Mental Health Conditions category, in particular the PTSD & Trauma forums. Beware though, some of the threads can be triggering, so go easy on yourself. Don't go there if the title of the thread is too close to home.

Kind regards

PamelaR