Struggling

[Wilma1]

I was here a few years ago. So much has happened in such a short space of time. Moved twice, and the usual struggles with the complexities of mental illness. I'll leave it there for now.

[IsaJett]

Hi Wilma

welcome back ...your message was short and succinct but nevertheless needed

..I have had to moved twice too...so stressful ...but omg 😮 I’m proud of my efforts and u should be too proud of what u done . I also twisted my neck whilst doing it ...but wouldn’t have it any other way ...cos it proves to myself that I can do it on my own .

I had to move twice because of a split. It is almost empowering to know ..I did it all alone ,

as much as it was daunting and the times leading up to it ,.,the anticipation ...but I started being kind to myself ...started being my own cheerleader instead of the normal beating myself up mentally ,

i hope u understand where I’m coming from ...I was my own worst enemy until I decided I want to be my own best friend ,

my friends said they help me move etc ...but when the day came ...everyone kinda miraculously disappeared...which is fine ..but it has taught me the only person I can always rely on ...is MYSELF ....MY OWN BEAUTIFUL SELF .

All the blood sweat and tears ...was worth this very lesson . Me ,Myself and I will always come through for me . I hope this helps you WIlma ...we are so strong within ourselves no matter what the world throws our way ...we like super ducking heroes.

I hope you write again ..hope to hear more from you .

Keep well

[Wilma1]

Thanks for replying IsaJett's. Yep, every box packed and unpacked by me. Every phone call to organise stuff, by me. Yes I am proud of the exhausting effort, but the overall was badly needed, and my present place is working out ok so far.

I can't join in your chorus of My Beautiful Self, but proud, very proud of you that you can. As for relying of self, someone I have always had to rely on.

Super ducking heroes lol!! Yes!

I hope your neck is ok or better, and that you day is going as well as it can for you.

[IsaJett]

Great to hear from You Wilma

i hope you and I can triumphant together over our little victories and it has an accumalative effect ..I don’t mean beautiful as in I’m beautiful ...hahah cos I am probably not either ...hahaha but I meant just loving ourselves ...the flaws and good the imperfections .. for myself I put a lot of pressure on myself and I think most suffer from that too . But we need to tweak our brains ..i think ..like fine tuning it ..it’s a work in progress and I’m always learning new things and I hope I can share them with you

you have a wonderful day too ..stay well ...I’m here often so if u ever need to rant ...rant away ..heheh

super ducking heroes ..power to us both

[Wilma1]

IsaJett, yea, the small victories, one small step at a time. I'm trying to find my way out of another deep depression. Done it many times before, I guess I'll do it again. Always seems a little deeper than the one before, and those small steps take forever. I have a tiny companion who helps me through. A little dog. My lifeline.!!! Do you have any animal family???

Hope you're sleeping right now.

Super ducking heroes. 💕💜💕🐾🐾

[IsaJett]

Hi Wilma ..unfortunately no little pet as I’m in a two bedroom tiny apartment with my 13 year old son .

yeah I never quite get it....in fact...am I getting out of depression or in deeper ,,hahaha

baffles me ..but I manage to be happy ...I think it’s a matter of choice and then also a matter of reconditioning ourselves . Retraining my brain to go positive ,

i had recently read up on brain and it’s functions ..hoping to have a major overhaul .

its actually pretty fascinating stuff. When you learn how something works.

A dear Friend of mine said to me ...something about controlling your emotions ...and my god was that like a lightbulb moment for me ..I’m like ..huh what ?? I can do that ??

i was absolutely clueless...well apparently you can choose to have emotions wash over you ...well ...like just sit with the uncomfortable feelings ..and know that it will pass..

this has helped me tremendously ..I’m just rolling with the emotions so to speak ..like I’m ok ..if a hurt from the past comes and hit me on the head ..I’m like ..I’m ok ..I have been ok and I will be ok ..this shall pass ..

and it works brilliantly .

have a lovely Christmas Wilma and keep well

what dog do you have ?

[Wilma1]

Is that like Mindfulness ?? IsaJett. I can do it in the garden with no problems, but not yet with the emotional stuff.

Ive read a little about the brain and its functions or malfunctions, reconnecting of wiring etc. it all takes time and effort, lots of effort I think. Trouble with me when the big bus hits, everything goes a muck. !!!!!

Ive come a long way though, still a long way to go though.

So you live with your son in a small flat, challenging no doubt. I have a very small flat with a small balcony where I grow a few flowers in pots.

My dog is a chihuahua. 3.6 kgs. Lol. Small in stature, big in personality.

You enjoy Christmas also. 💛💛🌷🌷

[IsaJett]

Hi Wilma

yeah its kind of like mindfulness ..but more the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind ...the subconscious is what u need to retrain ...or more accurately ...u need to override the subconscious with your conscious mind , hahaha

yeah it gets better ....the subconscious is usually stuff we have picked up ...on auto pilot ...so stuff that are second nature ...like driving for example ..u ever reach a destination? And u didn’t even need to think about it. So technically when I am depressed I feel like I jus5 feel shit by default ...cos I’m so used to that feeling . I forget that I can be Happy ...so this is where u Tap into your conscious mind ..

u mentioned that when the big bus hits ...everything goes amuck ...and I get that too...but the idea is ,,,to have a plan of attack...

when it does occur ...what I did was literally write out the plan ....

have a visualisation chart ...I write on my hand sometimes to remind myself that I can do it .. for example ..breathe count to 10 ...and then isolate the emotion ....describe to yourself what u r feeling ...I’m feeling anxious because ..... and this will pass ..like any of things .because I trust myself that I be able to sort it out ..think about the stuff that you had conquered previously and trust yourself u come through for yourself like a pro...it takes a few practice but it works wonderfully ...and u be a pro in no Time.

good luck let me know how you go

speak soon

[Wilma1]

Lots to think about there IsaJetts. Over the past week I have pushed hard to walk to the park with my little dog. Only missed one day so far. Well worth the effort once it's done. Usually 6.30 am.

Im hoping with the Christmas period over, there might be a lift in mood. Always a harder time for me.

Im into craft in a big way. Painting stones atm, another way of helping with negative thoughts.

Anyway, all the best today whatever you are doing.

[IsaJett]

That’s awesome ...keep up with the good work ..

i actually listened to a hypnosis video yesterday...hahaha for positive thinking ..it worked ..I feel good .i do it again tonight ..I’m determined to knock this thing on the head and put it to rest. K.O to depression

keep well Wilma