Struggling Alone

[One_More_Day]

Hi,

Poor decisions and behaviours (poverty thinking/undiagnosed mental health condition?), led to the end of my marriage twelve years ago.

Today, I am unemployed, have no family or friends and have lost all interest in life. I haven't left the house for six months and spend most days in bed.

I grieve the loss of my family every moment of the day. It is inconceivable to me to think there can be happiness and joy again.

Job Seeker just covers my mortgage and expenses and I am increasingly unable to keep a job. I have not worked since Sept 2023.

I called the suicide line a few hours ago but was put on hold for a long time, which is when I came to this forum.

While it is comforting to be amongst people with shared experiences, it doesn't alter the harsh reality of my life nor resolve present, concerning issues.

I am 55, have two degrees, had a perfect life, and now I am at great risk of adding to the growing statistic of homeless middle-aged women, if I live that long. I hope everyday I will die and have abused alcohol, cannabis and food as a slow form of suicide. I hope I will just collapse one day and it will all be over.

I was on anti-depressants at the time of my divorce and seeing a clinical psychologist. Neither helped. I just don't have confidence anything or anyone can lift me from this living tomb.

OMD.
 

[Shady Lady]

I take so many tablets for anxiety and depression and migraine. I think medicinal canabis would actually save me money. I don't think my gp would prescribe it though...

[Shady Lady]

I self medicate on alcohol or sleeping tablets and food. I'm scared of dying but want to be asleep. Looking at myself isn't great as a result!

[FlyingWhale79]

I really feel the same thing. I want to die everyday like I will be forgotten. Everything seems like no use and I always lose interest in everything. But somehow the voices in my head tells me to be a priest. But I dread that I will become one. Because I love what I do and I won't give up what I love. Even if I am in a difficult situation right now. It is always important to keep myself healthy and aware of the things that I have to prioritize with. Especially bills and relationships that I have right now. I aim to keep it in my heart at all times being safe and sound.

[Fiatlux]

Hi OMD,

How are you doing today. I have seen you pop up in the forums but I came across your post this evening.

From one 55+ year old to another I completely understand how you feel.

Life shouldn’t be this hard. My mother’s generation had it tough but is it getting worse for our generation? We certainly have less support as far as family is concerned.

I am still working hard 5 days a week and scrambling to get ahead and build up my super savings so I can retire in about 10 years. I hope my health holds up even though I am pretty dead on the inside.

Keep in touch and try to keep going. Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[indigo22]

Hi Shady Lady,

Welcome to the forums, I hope you are finding some comfort and help here.

I noticed that you said in your first post that you can't afford counselling. I wanted to let you know that you can access counselling with a social worker free of charge through Centrelink either by phone or by going into your nearest Centrelink office and asking to speak with a social worker.

There are also many Social Workers available through Medicare. You could speak with your GP about this. In order to get on top of mental health issues, you need to resolve the underlying emotional traumas that caused you to feel the way you do. Medication can only help with the symptoms but cannot resolve the cause.

Please give this some thought.

Take care of yourself,

indigo 

[One_More_Day]

Hi Shady Lady,

All GPs can prescribe and all also "should" if you request it. If your's doesn't, find another GP. One way of finding a GP who will refer is to search for pharmacists dispensing "herbal/botanical/plant-based therapies", or "medicinal cannabis". They may suggest GPs that refer.

Good luck with it.

OMD.

[One_More_Day]

Yes, I know that feeling. I've become a walking bean bag! 

[One_More_Day]

Thanks Fiatlux,

Still here 🙂

Appreciate you checking in.

OMG