Saying Hi is always a good place to start!

[FrankJ]

HI!

I've suffered depressive bouts for around 8 years now. I don't feel I get depressed about things that go wrong. But things generally go wrong due to me being depressed. I go to bed happy but in the morning will wake up blank and numb. I have no conversation in me, muddle my words as my thoughts wander and feel unresponsive to others. Worse still I know it's happening which makes me feel awful. My work and social life suffer which frustrates me as I can't shake it off. It used to last a few days then I'd be fine but now last a couple of weeks with just a couple of weeks of respite. I'll leave it at that for now....but.....Hi anyway

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi FrankJ,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us!

I see a lot of what I've gone through in your experiences; I know with depression for me too that it can be hard to get out of bed or waking up blank, muddling words and then finding that things are going wrong a lot. You are definitely not alone here.

I'm just wondering too if you are in touch with your GP or a therapist? Sometimes this can be helpful in finding ways to better manage depression.

One thing that might be useful is the BB forums for Depression here - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression

[_T_]

Hi FrankJ,

Im relatively new here myself, so welcome 🙂

Depression has a funny way of sucking the life out of life doesnt it? Im so glad you have joined the forum because its a great opportunity to talk to people who know pretty much what youre going through, like me. I have lots almost all of my friends due to me being so down on myself and second guessing my EVERY move that people tend to steer clear of me, so Im here for you.

Im sorry to hear that its making your life hard and honestly something that I find super hard but the best medicine is talking about it to a councillor or a GP, I just walk away feeling like Ive shed 500 pounds off my shoulder and brain so I have cleared up space to think and absorb life, for a while

Again, welcome and I hope to hear back from you soon 🙂

sincerely

T

[blondguy]

Hi FrankJ

Good on you for having the courage to post and Welcome to you

Going to bed happy is always a bonus. Romantic & Miss 'T' have some great advice above.

If I can ask you.....do you feel stressed or exhausted at work? Excuse the question FrankJ, just trying to help as I feel like a wreck in the mornings as well.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow

My Best

Paul

[FrankJ]

Thanks blond guy.

I'll fill in a few gaps first. I'm from London and have lived in Australia for five years. My wife is Australian and twenty years younger than me. We have been together twelve years and have two great kids I'm 57 so obviously a late in life dad but loving every second. I'm a builder so started a small (small being me) renovation business which took off well. We have a great home in a nice part of Brisbane and a good extended family. So all should be good.

My wife and I met in London and was my client on a project. I'd completed the job and a few months later on a cold night walked out of an underground station and bumped into her. Next day we contacted each other and the rest is history. My wife is a healthcare professional (Dr) and having got to know her better understood she was on a career path to become a specialist. This means dropping out of mainstream work and seeking a residency which are not easy to come by. Followed by a series of brain breaking exams.

Well, she worked hard and submitted an abstract in an annual congress meeting and won best paper. A tap on the shoulder and an invitation to be a resident at one of the UK's leading university's.... So it starts. We move out of London and start our journey. We bounced around the UK for almost four years. Moved every three months hardly saw each other for days on end due to twenty plus hour days at uni. But we pulled it off (most do not) We saw countless couples part. New relationships stall but as hard as it was we stuck to it. This was the period when I first felt what I now know to be depression. It was mainly through being lonely. But again it was a case of 'it's not forever'....will continue soon!!!!

[Narniakid]

Hi FrankJ, firstly welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us!

That numb and muddled feeling is something I can recall experiencing during my worst years of depression. Getting out of bed despite feeling so empty and dehumanised is an exceptional achievement in itself, and I want to say well done on the days that you've been able to do that.

After reading your story, it sounds like you and your wife are both very successful and goal-driven people, and that's really lovely that you have each other to support and motivate. With everything that's happening with your wife's career and your own business, do you feel overwhelmed? Sometimes I find that if a lot of things are happening at once and I feel overwhelmed and stressed out, my depression sort of takes over to drown out the noise, but leaves me feeling obviously much worse about it all.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Crystal

[geoff]

hi Frank, a very interesting comment ' I don't feel I get depressed about things that go wrong. But things generally go wrong due to me being depressed', well this is a vicious circle, so can I ask you how do you actually feel when something goes wrong, annoyed, angered or frustrated.
Being lonely will certainly change your mood plus moving every 3 months will make you feel as though you're not settled down or able to make friends, sure you can have friends but then you move away, so contact will become harder and probably fade away, so you have this continual need to make new friends, but perhaps this isn't what you want to do, knowing that another move is close by, sowhat's the use.
If you put 'I don't get depressed when things go wrong' in a mirror, it says 'things go wrong when I get depressed', a silly analogy but does this mean depression is the main issue here.
Hope you can understand what I'm trying to say, and if not well you wouldn't be the only one scratching their head, but it takes a great deal of thought to try and understand what I'm trying to say.
I'm not sure whether you like moving around this often, because you want to be back in Brisbane, 'so all should be good' but I don't think it is.
I know that your wife has done exceptionly well, and so have you, but are you missing out on doing your building. Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hi Frank

Thanks for writing back. Crystal and Geoff have great advice above.

I think what you and your wife have achieved is something to be proud of. Crystal mentioned the feeling of being 'overwhelmed' by having so many things happening at the same time.

Do you ever get that feeling of being overwhelmed?....As in bordering on exhaustion? (just so I can understand)

I hope you have a good weekend Frank

My Best

Paul