Reaching out.. first time + super overwhelmed right now

[LilBirdy]

Hiya, I am.hoping to chat with supportive and like-minded people.
I don't know where else to turn and feel I'm constantly crying to my friends and partner.
This year has been hard.. first off 2 friends lost their dad, and I really didn't want to go back to work.. I took time off until 11th.. my office space is all female and I feel so on the outer.. it's quite clicky..
Then, in a matter of 3 weeks, my dad and I had words, my partner of near 2 years had a heart attack and was in hospital for days in the city. He is home now and is just not himself anymore... His daughter who lived with him, decided when he got home to up and move out... He was devastated! Then I needed to have surgery.. and then on Friday just as the announcement came for a 5 day snap lockdown (I'm in country Victoria) my daughter's school rang to say she had a fall... Which resulted in a broken arm...
I suffer anxiety and am usually an upbeat person, yet I just can't seem to rise up at the moment...
PS not that it's a biggie.. but myself partner also forgot Valentine's Day..
How do we cope with things like this???

[Amanda2000]

Hi LilBirdy,

Life is a roller-coaster full of ups and downs as they say. Just because it's down now doesn't mean it will not go back up. If you feel like you are at the lowest point right now, things can only improve from here on, right? Are you able to find something positive to help you feel better? Something like your partner had survived the heart attack and he's still with you. Or regarding your daughter, her broken arm is a temporary inconvenience but it will heal. Or regarding your office situation, you don't need to waste time on office chit-chat so you can finish work on-time each day to enjoy the company of people that matter to you. For myself, when I'm too exhausted for any positive thinking, I just ride it out and say this is all temporary, the bad feelings will pass. I suffer from anxiety too. It helps me to participate actively in this forum. Yes there are a lot of supportive and like-minded people here!

[LilBirdy]

Thankyou Amanda, I usually do focus on the positives, I really appreciate you reminding me of that, I will work on my mindset x

[ecomama]

Hey LilBirdy, heavens NO WONDER you feel super overwhelmed right now!

You've had what I call "rolling tsunamis" of shocks.

I'm so sorry your friends have lost their dads. This can impact us in many ways, our own grief for the loss, their losses, our own potential / future losses etc. It's BIG by itself.

Then the health issues and change in your partner. Hmmm. Pretty sad.

Then your daughter's broken arm, even this ALONE happening to our children can cause pretty major anxiety for many reasons. Hope she's doing okay?

And it's a sad situation if your partner wasn't ready for his daughter to leave home. Hugs to you both. I don't like it either.

Work - yeah, that sucks.
Are you working from home for a bit due to lock down?

Lock down - oh yay, dear Victorians doing it all again, hugs.

Bundle that ALL up into a few weeks and if you DIDN'T have some type of emotional reaction, I'd want you to check your pulse!

It's that this has ALL happened almost at once.

My suggestions: besides figuratively kicking partner for "forgetting" V Day...
* self-care (we have a SC thread here, have a peek if you like!)
* time out from everyone to listen to some favourite music, meditate, listen to a funny podcast - whatever.... time out... maybe in the bath tub.
* doing the 1h walk outside whether you want to or not lol. BY YOURSELF if you can.

Spending time "holding space" with your friends can mean so much to them and you at this time.

Be kind to yourself LilBirdy, you got A LOT going on girlfriend!

Love EM

[LilBirdy]

Thank you Em xx
Your words are inspiring and just knowing that you get it and provide compassion is beautiful! Thankyou

[ecomama]

Hey LilBirdy

You are more than welcome.

I'm so sorry all this is happening and happened.

How are you doing today?

We got you.

Love EM

[Rishie]

Hi LilBirdy,
Wow, you have a lot going on, and it's no wonder that you feel overwhelmed, I think most of us would under those circumstances, and the fact that it's all happening at the same time would make it harder to deal with.

One thing that I find really helpful is to count my blessings. I keep a gratitude journal and write down the things I'm thankful for, even small and seemingly insignificant things. Even on bad days, there are things I can be thankful for, such as taking a moment outside to feel the sun on my face, or taking a nice long bubble bath, or getting a nice message from a friend. I've been doing this since November 2019 when I read a book called "one thousand gifts". It's a Christian book, but even for people who aren't religious, making a list of things you're grateful for may be a help. It's good on really dark days to look back on the things you have written and remember the good things that you have. It's just one more way of focusing on the positive. I hope this helps.