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Only just beginning to understand CPTSD

Francesca71
Community Member

Hi, I’m really glad to have found this forum. I have never been on an online forum before. 🙂

i have not yet been formally diagnosed, but my VOC psychologist showed me a poster of symptoms and they fit to a T. It kind of makes me more frightened and upset.

i have been the victim of institutional abuse as a foster carer with FACS. Also groomed and controlled by a child sexual predator. (My kids were not exposed thank god) I have endured two years of neglect and abuse from FACS, and maternal alienation by my blaming and controlling ex-husband. I now only see my children four times a year in supervised contact visits.

i have moved to a remote area and am deliberately isolated. I cannot work or get income support (can’t deal with government departments) I am living off money from the sale of my house. I tried several jobs but found myself freezing in mid conversation, bursting into tears, or being unable to function because of lack of sleep. I have totally unreasonable blow-ups and panic attacks. I am on antiD meds and take CBD oils to help sleep. I am considering a meditation retreat but I am scared of the spiralling thoughts and terrifying flash-backs. Let’s face it - I’m scared of most things these days! I feel very inadequate, vulnerable and underconfident. I am terrified this will never improve. I’m hoping to find some ideas for coping and surviving, or treatment options. Currently I am only doing Yoga and talking therapies.

Thanks for being here. 🙂

Franc

1 Reply 1

PamelaR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Franc and warm welcome to our forums

My heart goes out to you. Life sounds incredibly difficult for you and I understand completely. Healing from traumas and complex PTSD takes a long time and is a painful process. I am pleased to hear you are seeing a psychologist. I wouldn't have recovered if I didn't have the support from a person experienced with cPTSD and PTSD.

There are many different therapies to use to help recover from the experiences of the past. What I've learnt is - not one type of therapy suits all people. Everyone is different and respond differently to treatments. Feel free to browse and join in discussions on our forums. In particular there is a thread you might find useful -

  • Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope
  • Sharing strategies to help with PTSD

Keep reaching out Franc, if and when you want to. You're not alone.

Kind regards

PamelaR