New to Blue Voices. I am Carolyn and this is my story.

[Carolynh]

Hi, I am Carolyn and I have recently joined Blue Voices here at Beyond Blue.

I am a 52-year-old woman who has had many years of mental health issues. My mental health story started around about the time I was 16 years old when I started to believe that I was not as good as my peers, not as pretty, not as slim and I became sad and withdrawn overnight. These feelings were validated by my own mother who often verbally, mentally and emotionally abused both myself and my younger brother. I was a few months post 21 when I attempted to take my own life for the first time. I was hospitalised for some time but nothing was done to help me with my thoughts and I was diagnosed with a situational crisis, no referral to any Mental Health service, just back to my GP who was also our long term family GP. I was started on my first anti-depressant. The anti-depressants made me extremely hyperactive and increased my mental health symptoms. To cut a very long story short after 3 - 4 years I met my now-husband and things were fabulous for a long time, that was until after we were married and had our first child. I felt that my mental health deteriorate very quickly after our first child and I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression but I thought it was much more than that. After seeing a new GP I went to the local mental health service and was put on anti-depressants and had cognitive therapy and counselling which did help although I was still hyperactive and at times suicidal I believe was due to the anti-depressants. We had our second child in 2003 and this is when everything came to a head. I again got postnatal depression but had psychotic episodes and was my thought processes was all over the place, I was also having auditory and visual hallucinations. I was sent to our local hospital which was a terrible experience as I am a nurse and at the time I was employed by that health service. Post this episode and several other similar episodes I was diagnosed with BiPolar disorder and commenced on medication and psychiatric treatment plan and for once since aged 16 I felt like I finally had an answer to what was wrong with me.

Having a diagnosis of Bipolar has not been easy and I have had many ups and downs during the years. I have joined Blue Voices to discuss my experiences with others and help those who are having difficulties, to be there as a support person and to listen.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Carolyn

I'm so sorry u were taken to the hopsital where u worked when u urself needed treatment, that should not happen,

I have see in my life how it adds another layer of stress for ppl if they know or recognise someone in the hopsital, sadly this happens commonly, and isn't always handled well, it breaches our confidentiality

I have ptsd and a possible personality disorder and find thus place helpful

We work together to create a safe environment for ppl where they can share thier recovery journeys

I'm sure with Ur wealth of knowledge and amazing journey to finding the right treatment, u will be a valuable community member.

[geoff]

Hello Carolyn, a warm welcome to the forums and many thanks for posting your comment which must have been a very awful experience and feel so very sorry for you.

I am not too knowledgeable about Bipolar and leave discussing this issue up to those who know more than I do or who also have this illness.

I will still read all the comments to learn what I'm able to, as this illness is very demanding.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Carolynh

I’m so sorry to hear about your experience And welcome to the beyond blue forum

There is always support available here Feel free to reach out when you need 🙂

[quirkywords]

Carolyn,

Welcome to the forum . Thanks for sharing your story.

I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 50 years ago but an early diagnosis did not help way back then and I was in denial.

I am sorry for your struggles but glad you found the forum.

There is a thread here called This bipolar life, which is a friendly group and you would be most welcome to have a look there.
I feel the more I know about my bipolar by looking for patterns in my moodswings .
I also found 4 Hs help me

Health Honesty Humour and Hope

So looking after my health , being honest with my selves and others, being able to see the funny side and always having hope that things will improve.

Carolyn I was pleased to read your story.

Feel free to ask me any questions .