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Bananie
Community Member
Hi everyone, apologies from the start if I'm not very eloquent. My life is wonderful, I am financially ok, I have a home, I have a job, I have wonderful family. I've worked very hard to move on from 2011/2013 and now have a job that I adore, my kids are wonderful. Why do I continue to put that at jeopardy with my thoughts. Feeling very lost but pushing through 
2 Replies 2

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Bananie, I'd like to welcome you to the site, and please don't worryabout being eloquent, which you aren't anyway, but there are no 'airs and graces' here, because people have questions they want to ask, or they have problems which are causing them to have depression issues, so they write down whatever they like, and nobody is at all worried.

I would presume that between the years 2011/2013 was definitely a bad time for you, but you were able to overcome it and get a good job, financially stable, plus you have a home, and to achieve all of this means that you should be congratulated, however deep down there is a nagging problem for you that seems to be a continual thought process that is plaguing you.

There are many scenarios, but the way I feel is that once we have had depression, gone through all the horrific periods from mildly low to absolutely extreme being down so low and thinking it will never get any better and then managing to overcome it, we are left with some stigma that it is possible for us to fall down again.

If you have overcome your depression in 2013 and achieved what you have done, you have to remember that it's now 2014, and that's only a short time from being depressed to feeling how you do now, so these thoughts are going to linger around, until they eventually dwindle away, but before I end this reply, can I just give you a thought;

the strength from what you have done will build up, and if by any chance you happen to fall, and please there is shame or harm if this happens, because you can recover once again, but the determination from someone like you should be honoured.

I would love to hear back from you so we can talk again. Geoff.

White_Rose
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Bananie

Interesting name. Is it a combination or a nickname? Welcome to Beyond Blue and great that you have posted here.

I'm not entirely sure what your problem is. Perhaps you could explain a little more. I take it you do not have depression or anxiety or any other mental health issue. Or is it as Geoff has commented that 2011/2013 were years of depression or some other illness?

Can you tell us what sort of thoughts you are having? I do not want to invade your privacy so perhaps you could just tell us the topic(s)? Many people have thoughts that in some way they consider bad or wrong and worry about quite excessively. Often these thoughts are quite normal or can be changed into more positive thoughts with some assistance.

How old are your children? I have four children whose ages are 44-39, plus eight grandchildren ages from 20-5.

Normally I would ask if you have discussed your thoughts with your GP and it is so often a good starting point. Worrying about anything causes all sorts of stresses in your life and you end up chasing yourself in circles. So I would suggest a chat with your GP as a first port of call.

It would be great if you can reply and tell us a little more about yourself.

Mary