Hi Deanie77,
First of all, a warm welcome to the forums– you've come to a safe, non-judgmental space to share anything you'd like. I'm grateful that you were willing to share here some of the really tough stuff that you're dealing with in your life right now.
Your description of depression as being trapped in a hole is so apt; that really resonates with me. It sounds like it is also causing you some cognitive difficulties in the form of not being as articulate as you would like, as well as anxiety about whether you are doing or saying the right thing. These are very, very common, but as you say are made all the more difficult by the stressful home situation you mention, and of course, all... this going on in the world *gestures to everything*.
Between the stress of working from home, your precarious home situation that I imagine has you walking on eggshells, and the seemingly endless supply of bad news, on top of your depression, I think the fact that you are working at all, AND being a parent and housemate, is incredible. I really think you owe it to yourself to think about what an accomplishment that is despite all the circumstances, even if you are hard on your self day-to-day.
You mention that you have had depression for a while. Do you mind my asking if you were diagnosed by a counsellor or therapist? If so, might it be helpful to reach back out to them for a bit of support? In any case, would love to hear more about how you are going, your situation, and what's on your mind. Always here to talk.
Warmly,
Gems
