New member- just need to chat with people who understand

[Ginnyh]

Hi there. I’ve suffered depression on and off for 10 years. Occasionally it’s got worse and a new med or increase has helped. 2 weeks ago I started to feel very down again. I went to dr who signed me off work and increased my meds . I know it takes a while to kick in but it’s been nearly 2 weeks now and I’m not feeling any better. If anything I’m feeling worse as now I’m feeling super anxious as well. I’ve been off work nearly 2 weeks and I’m not getting paid so I’m seriously worried about that too. My husband is supportive but he’s starting to get annoyed that I’m not getting better and he’s worried how we will cope if I can’t work. I just feel so desperately scared. I see a psychologist but only once a month as can’t afford it. I just don’t really know what to do. I wake up each morning and hope that it’s the day that I start to feel better. What will happen if I don’t start getting better ? Sorry for my rambling. Just wanted to chat with people that understand

[Matchy69]

Hi Ginnyh i completely understand what you are going through.I suffer from severe depression and had it for years.I also have bad anxiety and panic attacks.You say your husband is supportive which is good and he is probably getting worried about the financial state of things with you not working and thats normal.But you need to get better to be able to work if you can.You need to put yourself first.Do you find the psychologist helps when you see them once a month?Is their anything in paticular you think that has made your depression worst lately?Just hang in there and i hope things improve for you.

Take care,

Mark.

[Ginnyh]

Thanks for your kind reply. I’m sorry you also suffer. I don’t think there is a particular trigger for my depression, I think I just get overwhelmed with everything. I work4 days in a special school, I have 2 kids and I’m studying for my teaching degree. I think I just can’t do it all. Psychologist said I need to remove everything that not necessary so the only think I can really stop is my study. I’m so sad because I have to realistically question whether I can continue. As it is it’s going to take me another 7 years to qualify as a teacher and I keep having to take study periods off every time I get unwell. I wish I could stop my job and just study but we don’t have the money so it looks like the study will have to stop. I’m also looking at dropping a day of work and seeing if that helps. Money will be tighter but hopefully I will feel better. I have to return to work next week and I’m really worried I won’t be able to

[Matchy69]

Hi ginnyh,i can understand how hard it is to study part time it really is difficult at best of times.

Thats great you work in a special school.Do you find that rewarding? I have 2 special needs kids on my own but unfortunately they are to far from a special school and go to a normal school.Maby one day less working will help you improve.I know money is really important but your own health is very important to.Do you have anything that you particularly enjoy doing that helps when you are feeling down?For me it's going on a motorbike ride,i can really forget my troubles for a little while unfortunately i dont seem to do it as much as i like.I also enjoy cooking.

Take care,

Mark.

[Healing heart]

HI There,

I have also had issue with not being able to afford therapy and only doing this once a month which I found of little value and ended up moving and finding another therapist who was cheaper.

i hope your meds have started to work better. Can you contact family and friends via phone if you cannot be there for telephone support?

[newintown23]

Hello Ginnyh,

Although I don't have kids and a husband, I know what it feels like to struggle with the financial cost of therapy and needing it as well as wanting to do more than emotionally you can do.

It sounds like your study is really important to you so hopefully, you can do that if you drop a day of work, even as you say money is tighter. Is it possible at all you can see someone at your place of study for counselling? I was just thinking of that since when I've done study the counselling sessions are free. Of course, therapy isn't all about money and if you've got someone who you are comfortable with then its worth continuing.

As other posters have said, its important to look after your mental health too. Do you have time to do the things you like? Is there any assistance with your children? The latter would also be helpful as I can imagine trying to juggle study, work and family can be very difficult.

I apologise if I'm not being very helpful. Again, even though our situations are different, I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in how you feel (I'm having my own worries at the moment too). I sincerely hope things get better for you 🙂