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[trappedmumofone]

hi, I am a mum of one beautiful little man. I am currently stuck living in regional vic with my son as my ex husband and my sons Dad wont consent to me relocating to the city to be with my partner of 3 years. I have ptsd from my marriage which was abusive and I am very isolated here and I feel that the court system is allowing this to continue from my ex while he controls mine and my sons life. the lockdowns are especially hard with corona virus as the first time I had to homeschool I was able to stay with my partner in the city and had support, this time however my sons Dad has threatened me and wont allow me to take my son to the city to homeschool, I am stuck in a place where I am already so unhappy and isolated and I cant see that being improved now I have to homeschool my son again. I have been in the family court system for two years trying to fight for my son and I am starting to feel like it will never end.... My son is starting to suffer the impacts of his Dads behavior as well, this includes wetting himself and being afraid to tell his Dad anything and wanting to sleep in my Bed as well as really low self esteem, I have numerous supports in place for my son but I am just exhausted by everything and feel like a terrible mother. I am trying really hard to focus on my parenting and being positive but its so hard when my sons dad is constantly critical of me and I feel like I will never be safe and away from his abuse and feel I am unable to protect my son. I have had nightmares on and off the last 4 years that my ex is trying to kill me or my son and lately I have been having a lot of physical symptoms like dizziness and feeling panicked a lot, I cannot take medication to help me with these issues because it will be used against me in family court, the corona virus outbreak is making it harder for me to go to my safe place in the city with partner and my family and I am just feeling so defeated.

[Matchy69]

Hi trappedmumofone and welcome to the forums.I can really understand how it must be for you wanting to move and your ex not allowing and court not helping.I lived 2 hours from my kids and moved to be 15mins away from them giving up my life I had made for myself.It was on the court order when I was going through the divorce process.I now have my kids at least 50% of the time and have a huge part in everything in their lives.My children have special needs as well.I am really sorry this has effected your son the way it house.Unfortunately kids seem to get caught in the middle and we should be doing everything we can to protect them from all of this.

Can you write your son's father a letter stating how this is effecting him and how you want to move on and that you both need to put your differences aside and your hurt for the sake of your son.I know if my ex moved away from here and had found happiness I would let her but know I would feel very hurt and would worry about seeing my kids and being part of their lives.

I hope you can sort something out with him.

Tale care,

Mark.

[P0L0]

Hi trappedmumofone,

Welcome to the forums, and I hope you can continue to seek support here. You are among friends.

Rest assured, you are an amazing mother. You have fought the judicial system for the protection of your son. That definitely shows that you love and care for your son.

I am not a lawyer, but I did some research, and this is what I found:

The website below details how The Family Court should act in the best interests of the child. One could argue that the best interests of your son is to move away from your ex husband.

http://www.familycourt.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/fcoaweb/family-law-matters/parenting/relocation-and-tr...

This next article states that in Family Court hearings, you should be able to appeal to the mental health of your son in the proceedings, as that is a significant aspect of the well-being of your son.

https://www.colemangreig.com.au/BlogPost-538-effect-of-mental-health-in-family-law-parenting-orders-...

If you need anyone to talk to or if you need support, get in touch with Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport . There is also Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Lifeline crisis chat 7pm - 12am at https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/ .

All the best!

P0L0

[White_Rose]

Hello Trappedmumofone

I am so sorry for your predicament. I wonder how much legal assistance you have. Have you talked to the Women's Legal Service in your state. You can google it quite easily. They will give you some free consultations. Also have you phoned 1800RESPECT which is about domestic violence or the Domestic Violence people. The Victorian branch is here. https://www.dvrcv.org.au/ They are a statewide support service. Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria (DVRCV)

It may help to get a better outcome for you and your son. A couple of questions for you to ask your solicitor. Why did you have to move to be near your ex. Why is it he does not have to move closer to you.

Not a long reply from me as I really do not understand the legal system. I hope the links I have given you are helpful.

Mary