New here but not new to anxiety

[Littlefox85]

Hi everyone,
i have been living with anxiety since I was 13 (I’m now 35). I’ve only really had the diagnosis of general anxiety until recently. My current psychologist has said I have OCD and possibly depersonalisation derealisation disorder. Even though I’m medicated my symptoms have been quite bad lately. Even causing problems with my work life as I’ve had really bad panic attacks and had to call in sick. Now I have to have a meeting with HR later in the week which obviously is not helping my anxiety. Had anyone experienced similar disruptions to their lives as this?

[Littlefox85]

Sorry to continue from my post, I meant disruptions to their working lives

[empty cup]

hi Littlefox85

Im in a similar situation as you so don't feel your alone. Im no expert but having anxiety really takes you to a very low space and it really sucks, The hardest thing I struggle dealing with is , putting up a front at work as if all is just great , but just below the surface I hurt so much.My work place has nothing in place to help me so I just feel so lonely and alone every single day.I guess Im reaching out to you just to let you know it helps to talk it out with someone.People that haven't suffered from Anxiety do really know what we go thru.

Just stay strong and talk with someone you can confide in and it will get you thru .

Love empty cup.

[Husky1]

Hello,

Yes, I have had depersonalisation disorder and anxiety for quite some time. I am 37 and began experiencing symptoms when I was 18.

It tends to be a bit of a loop, a cycle that we get trapped in. It might be a good idea to identify what makes you feel grounded and safe. It is very important to feel safe and in control of life. Things that have helped me over the years:

- Set healthy boundaries. Protect myself and build trust that I can adequately make the best decisions for my wellbeing.

- Learn to enjoy life. Build a life that I truly want to be present and in the moment for. Search for what makes me happy and feel good in life and do these things regularly.

- Create safety. What makes you feel unsafe? Seek to improve these elements and create trust and safety around you.

- Find a routine to be grounded. Mindfulness practices, meditation, exercise, better sleep routine.. whatever will work for you. I find that being a morning person and taking time to be well prepared, to eat well and exercise before work drastically improves my anxiety and my work day, social connections... everything. I also wear a bracelet that has "Here and Now" engraved on it on the back so only I know it is there. This helps me to remember that I am in the present and not floating above.

So these are some of the things I do. Boundaries, safety, routines, mindfulness, enjoyment. I also like to add in meaningful acts. Volunteer work or just practicing kindness. Another I try is authenticity. I am no longer a people pleaser. If I am not in a great mood, that is ok and I can act myself. I don't follow people anymore, I live my own life and create the day how I would like it to be. I guess it is taking ownership of my life.

Creating a safe and stable enjoyable life has meant that the 'protective mechanism' that is depersonalisation is sometimes no longer needed. If you take the cause of the depersonalisation away ( to protect you) and learn to protect yourself, love and trust yourself then it can break the cycle.

All of these things really help me to break free from depersonalisation. I feel like it is laying healthy foundations and after time the depersonalisation will get less and less and maybe even disappear 🙂

[Carmysaurus84]

Excellent advice! Thank you. I will use some of your tips. Sounds like you’ve really mastered what your triggers are. 

[Mark Z.]

Hi Littlefox85,

I'm so sorry for your challenge, it must be very hard for you.

Try to ask yourself the following questions:

- do you love you current job? 

- when you say you have panic attacks recently, what are the triggers from your understanding?

- if you want to continue your current job, what is your biggest obstacle to performance？Will it be helpful if you take a break (a period of leave) or change to a part-time role temporarily? 

- is there any particular support you need or alternatives you want to discuss with your HR?

I'm an HR, don't be afraid of talking to an HR, cause they always want to start with trying to listen and help. Let them know your commitment, your challenge (are they aware of your mental health issue?) and your needs, have an open and honest talk. Come back to share about your conversation if you want.

Mark