neighbours noise and anxiety

[Oceanlove]

Hi all, first time posting. I feel like my life is controlled by anxiety I am feeling over noise coming from the neighbours. We moved into this rental 2 years ago, and on the day we inspected it, I saw some young people from the next door house inspecting it. They were typical lovely vibrant 20 somethings but something triggered in me. We eventually were offered the house but on the first night the neighbours had a loud party lasting all night. From that day, I have suffered moderate to severe anxiety over potential noise. They have only really done this a handfu of times in the last year, but I am constantly on edge, worried, and sometimes overwhelmed with feelings of paralasys, particularly when I hear something as simple as voices coming from next door. It doesnt help that our house has no insulation and they may as well be having their get togethers in our bedroom. It has completely overwhelmed me and my life. I feel trapped as I realise it is my problem and short of moving to the country where i have no neighbours this will continue to happen. I've tried ear plugs, music etc but can still hear the noise. It's important to note that generally noise is not issue for me, and if it were noise coming from say a crying baby, or dog barking I know I would not have these anxiety reactionary feelings, and more like normal feelings of just annoyance. It really is linked to party type laughing, screaming etc. I also cannot see an answer.

Would love to hear if anyone else shares these disproportionate reactions.

Cheers

[Doolhof]

Hi Oceanlove,

As a person who has moved house a few times and mainly because neighbour's dogs have driven myself and my husband nuts, I can sympathise with your situation.

It does sound like you have tried a few different strategies.

Have you been able to pinpoint what it is about the noise that upsets you so much?

I have been told by a psychologist to just ignore the dogs barking, but I have not always found that easy to do! We tried talking to the neighbours. One lot of neighbours were very reasonable, but one lot were not.

There is a lot of information on the internet about how to assist yourself with anxiety and also on desensitising yourself to issues.

By the way...we moved to the country! You will need a place with at least 100 acres not the 5 acres we purchased hoping for a quieter life!

Cheers from Dools

[Frodo99]

I agree. I have a neighbour who although not so close triggers anxiety whenever he get mates over. Based on previous experiences I know they will be disruptive so I get anxious.

You are not alone in this. Ear plugs are my best friend.

Trying to just put up with it does not work. I am constantly in the fight part of fight or flight. But in the long term fighting would not be good for me or my family.

[Frodo99]

Why was 5 acres not enough?

[Ggrand]

Hello Frodo99,

I used to live on 8 acres..It’s a lot of land.yes.the problem is that when you live in a rural area..noise travels and echoes because their is nothing to stop it...Heavy machinery and tractors are so loud and it’s usually constant from day break to sundown on the days the used them....

The sound of dogs barking constantly at kangaroos or other animals or people which threaten to come close on the property they are guarding is a real noise stressor....

I have since moved into a small village with neighbours and I can say that it is much quieter here...The dogs do bark at cars or people walking past..but it’s only for a few minutes and not continuously...as the dog owners are considerate of those around them....every house here has at least 2 dogs some have more..

Consideration is respecting your neighbours...and should be done whether you live on a normal block, 1, 2, 5, and even 10 acres...out in the country or if you live in suburbia...

When we lived in the metropolitan area...our neighbours grandchildren... used to kick their soccer ball against our joining colour bond fence.. Asking our neighbour to have them not do it made it all the worse..even the council said nothing can be done....There are a lot of people who have no respect for anyone but themselves....I’m sorry your neighbours seem like they are ones who don’t respect other people’s peace...

I hope so much that your ear plugs are helping you with the noise..We shouldn’t have to go as far as needing ear plugs for our peace....

My kindest and most caring thoughts Frodo...

Grandy...

[Doolhof]

Hi Frodo,

How are you getting on with the earplugs? I tried some ear muffs that play music to see if that would help drown out the dog's barking the whole time I am in the garden...and even when I am not in the garden.

Like Grandy mentioned, noise can travel well. In the country we don't have solid fences that may deter some of the noise.

We do have 5 acres, the property is long and narrow. Unfortunately the houses along the road are all close to the roadway, so all up front, so less distance from each other. If our house was down the back it would be quieter.

When we first moved here the neighbours did not have dogs. The previous owners of our house did have dogs and the neighbours told us how much those dogs barking bothered them! Well hello! Their dogs now bother us!

Trying to deal with noise can be frustrating when it triggers us.

Cheers from Dools