Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[StitchLost]

Hello, Im new here and have no idea where to post anything, or if I should post anything at all.

I'm waiting to get in to see a Doctor as I had a full on episode the other week when I visited the town I have just moved to with my husband and two young daughters. No idea what it was but I was shaking, sweating, pulse was racing and I could hardly get a sentence out. I also have severe anger issues which are worse when I'm tired and stressed (basically all the time, I stress about every little thing and I can't seem to stop.) I don't think there has been a day since my youngest was born -nearly 8 months ago- that I have been truly happy. It's gotten so bad my three year old is always telling me "I miss you Mummy, I lost you in the hospital."

I had a rough childhood (just emotionally and physically not sexually or anything of that nature, so my childhood wasn't the worst but it was hard for me), I have no self esteem, and I see every woman as a threat to my marriage, and that, on top of all my other issues are snowballing and hurting the relationships I have with my Husband and my two beautiful Daughters. Lately it's only because I have to look after my babies that I get out of bed. (Seems stupid as I know my life could be a hell of a lot worse, but with the way I have been for my whole life this seems to be all I can handle emotionally and mentally.)

Every time my Husband asks what is wrong, I tell him what's bothering me and we always end up arguing (NOT in front of the kids.)

I thought about it for months and finally decided to post on here to see if anyone has any ideas on how I can fix these issues so I don't end up losing the three people I can't live without.

Sorry if I have not made much sense, I find it hard to get what I'm trying to say across. I hope someone can make sense of all of this and point me in the right direction.

[Tommy06]

Hi all,

I am 23 years old. Hold a respectable job and from the outside look well. I am doing alright for myself and can pay my bills on time. But my issue is hidden below that. I am coming to terms with the fact I have an issue with alcohol after years of denial. I have never been diagnosed with an issue but know myself i have suffered  depression. I am here so that i can understand no matter how hard i try i cant do this alone and i need to make some changes.

 I have read a number of the stories on here and wish you all the best with your own journeys if I can chat and help in anyway I hope I can.

 This is my first time doing anything like this.

[HA1]

Hi Tommy

Welcome to the beyondblue forum, and thank you for the post.

Many of us have gone through what you have described, so you will find a lot of good people here who you can share your experiences with, ask questions, or just have a vent.

So please tell us a little bit more about yourself by starting your own thread, perhaps under the category of depression.

look forward to hearing from you.

k

[Jettalee]

Hi all, I've recently joined BB. Just want to introduce my self. I m 53 a Mother of 3 adult children and Grandmother of 5. I had a traumatic childhood,which lead me straight into a toxic relationship at 19.I self medicated with alcohol until 31. The trauma I endued for 15 years lead me to being clinically depressed, a  rage-aholic

 I couldn't live with the person I'd become, nor the situation I was living in. I had to go to a doctor and I was diagnosed with major depression and put on meds.ItI wasn't long before I felt a change and some relief, from the debilitation condition of D.so I decided I seek out support and stop drinking alcohol as it only made me feel worse. I found hope, and finally I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. A few years later, I made the move to get out of the toxic relationship,I left  the old environment and moved on to a  new beginning. It was the hardest move I ever made in my life but one of the best. 7 Months later there were serious complications,not of my own making,when  post traumatic stress hit me with a vengeance.It was server for four years,once  again I'd become debilitated from depression again. I fought with everything inside me to take little steps. so, as to  get on top of it. Slowly but surely I started to get a life. Many years of healing and hard work on myself and eventually I made head-way.In between, I raised my daughter alone who was still with, in her teen years and struggling with depression also..I managed to get a part time job and get her through to finish grade 12.Over a twenty year span, to where I am at now. I went off the disability pension twice. I embarked on one of my dreams to go to university, which lasted two years. My mental  health suffered and I crashed. Over time I attempted to go back on three occasions, but stress was too much. I worked on and off until I was finally burnt out And had to quit  the work-force all together. I still seem to feel guilty about not working. Being a mother to my adult children has been an on going challenge, it  has a major impact on my M.H. . Relationships with my 'B'  family is strained

 Last year I was diagnosed with Complex pts which almost took me over the edge. I resorted to having a few drinks again to help me cope. Because of pain killers for arthritis , meds for PTS & D

 I've decided to stay away from alcohol.  My physical health has gone  down  in last year

 I've  been isolating an I need a like minded 

support group. Regards Jettalee

[shimmerone]

Hi All, I want to connect with others who also struggle with depression and anxiety. Everyday is tough for me - on my better days though I really treasure that I feel slightly well and appreciate that time before I inevitably fall back into feeling scared and sad. I'm also at the point where I am growing tired of seeing doctors and feel like they don't know anymore than I do. My anxiety/depression has been life long problem for me, the sad thing is that in reality I have a wonderful life (lots of support from family and friends, nice home, safe & secure) - and yet I live in fear. I hope to chat with some of you on this forum - 🙂

[Lonleystudent]

Hello,

I am new to this form of communication. I have always sought to work out my problems alone or through the help of friends and family. But now things have changed. I went to live overseas for a year and arrived back in Australia 2 years ago. Since then, all of my friends have dropped off the face of the earth. Suddenly no one wants to see me or hang out anymore. At first i tried to hold onto the friendships, but after awhile I realised it was futile. Fast forward to now, and I have not made any friends at Uni, or work or anywhere. The only person in my life who cares about me is my boyfriend and he has gone away to work for 3 months. So far he has been gone for 2 weeks. It is only now that the full force of my loneliness has reared its ugly head. No one has visited me in this time. The only people who have made an effort to speak to me has been my family. I have reached out and made contact with multiple girls at my uni who I thought might be interested in hanging out and studying together (as exams are only 2 weeks away) but no one is interested. It was already hard for me to make the first move with these girls as I am very introverted (although I have learned to hide that side of myself and can function within social settings with no one becoming aware of the depressed, anxious girl on the inside), but now I am starting to feel hopeless. I am so scared that I will be alone for the whole time my boyfriend isnt here, and I hate that. I dont want to rely only on my boyfriend, its not healthy and it is also hard because I dont want to put that burden on him, it isnt fair for him. I know my story is nothing compared to some people on here, but that doesnt make this feeling of depression, dread and worthlessness any less real. I dont know what to do, I dont know why I havnt made any new friends in the last 2 years, its not for a lack of trying. I am open and cheerful and attentive when meeting new people, I remember names and faces and the stories that people tell me. I show interest in what they are saying and I think I am a genuinely nice person. I guess its not enough. I miss having a girl friend. I dont know what I'm doing wrong. 

My exams are soon as well and I am struggling with the content in one of my subjects, its making me stressed on top of the loneliness as well. 😞

[in_the_moment]

Hello all,

this being my first post I hope some of you can get something out of it. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, wow I thought depression? am I going crazy? I could not understand why this was happening to me. I have a great job beautiful caring family, well I soon found the this illness dose not discriminate, I was at the bottom of the pit feeling worthless the feeling of being a burden on those who love  and care for me. after many6 suicidal thoughts and trying to act on them I built the strength to talk to positive family and friends about how I was feeling this then gave me strength to seek professional help. I now deal with day to day life in a more realistic manor, my saviour came from a private mental health hospital, psychologist and psychiatrist. in hospital I went to all therapy classes and learnt so much about dealing with anxiety and depression also what these illnesses are. this all helped me along with medication, the one major thing which I find helps me day to day is mindfulness, if you have not done these classes I strongly advise you all to give them a go. I am now working on decreasing my medication and so far so good. thankyou for reading and I hope you get something out of this. Regards in the moment

[in_the_moment]

try mindfulness meditations / body scan. if you have a smartphone download a mindfulness app there are some free ones. hope this helps you.

Regards in the moment

[pipsy]

Hello, Lonleystudent.  I think you may be trying too hard.  It's hard 'breaking ground' when you're the new 'kid on the block'.  Most of the people you're meeting have probably known each other and studied together for a while.  Are you in a room on your own.  This won't help.  Is there a general notice board where you can ask someone to help you with whatever you're studying.  Maybe if you advertise for a 'roomie', this could also open doors for you.  You indicated you spent a lot of time with your boyfriend but he's no longer there, now you're reaching out.  I think you need to relax more.  People seem to know when someone's nervous, sometimes they back away when they don't know what to say.  Nervous people sometimes chatter incessantly to cover their feelings of inadequacy, others pick up on this and barriers go up.  We never see ourselves as others do.  When I first started at my local church 3 years ago, I didn't think anyone would ever talk to me.  Even now I sometimes wander around a bit aimlessly,  If you appear desperate, people are hesitant to interact, too.  Once you relax and let nature take it's course, you'll find things will get easier.  You sound a really pleasant person, don't try so hard.  Just remember, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'.  Friendships take time to cultivate.

Good luck.

[Mystic_connection]

Hello everyone.

Life has felt tough lately.

Randomly came across this and thought why not!