Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Jabrjori]

HI There,

 I am not sure if I am posting in the right spot and I am a little worried that I wont fit in to this forum... I am writing about my family, Mum, Dad and my younger brother (who is now happy and healthy, thank goodness) however my mum is not. She has been suffering from Depression and anxiety for over 34 years, she has been on medication and seeing dr's for about 18 years, she has been heavily drinking for the past 12 years. Last year while living with my parents (while we were building) I took some steps to have my mum admitted into a private hospital. Un be known to her that I was the main reason this happened.The day she went in I cried all day as did she, she was rock bottom, I watched her change, she sobered (but wasnt treated for alcoholism), she was taking anti-anxiety medication she became a person I didnt recognise, someone positive happy but very nervous about the future, She stayed in for 19 days and my dad was so upset that she wouldnt come home. She tried so hard to change at home but my Dad didnt like the new mum he preferred the old mum, he found it hard to talk to her and she felt like her marriage was going to break down. In the end, the drinking started again and the depression is worse than ever. I have lost my mum. My dad is on the same path with both alcohol and depression. Its terrible watching them be destroyed and destroying themseleves. I would love to be guided towards people who also have loved ones who are suffering from this "cancer" as I call it, to hear about there experience. I am a mum of 4 kids a 6, nearly 5 and 2.5 year old twins. We also have a small business which needs time, but I took a whole day off my family and to make sure my mum went to her physiologists appointment.

Thanks xx

[White_Rose]

Dear 78

Welcome to Beyond Blue. It's always great when someone comes online to get help for their partner. I see you have already Supporting Family and Friends. This forum is good for making contact with others in your position and passing on tips.

I take it your wife is receiving some counselling. Is this from a psychologist or psychiatrist? Not that it really matters which. Just that it's important that she is receiving help. Do you ever attend any of these sessions with her? Perhaps you could ask your wife if she would find it helpful to go with her on some occasions. Of course she would need to discuss this with her psych first. It can help you understand what is going on and perhaps join in her coping mechanisms.

You should ignore the value of talking to your wife about her difficulties. One of the most painful/disappointing parts of any mental illness is the inability to talk about it with a spouse or close friend. It really does help in releasing the tension. So try sitting with her and asking her to tell you how she feels.  This is all about her feelings, not yours. Tell you don't know what to do or say at times but that you want to help and support her.

I have found that most people with a mental illness would love to tell their close family how it feels and why they act in the way they do. They also welcome the opportunity to say what helps them. Be aware that she may try to minimize her feelings in order to not upset or worry you. This is where you need to help her to tell it like it is. Your wife may feel unworthy of you, not want to give you an extra worries, feel she should battle on by herself and a host of other feelings.

Convincing her otherwise may be a hard task but ultimately rewarding for both of you. You will grow closer. Your wife will feel she does not have to hide all her 'failings' in case you get disgusted. I'm sure you think this would not happen, that your marriage is too secure for that. When someone develops a mental illness they also often develop a negative view of themselves. So be aware of this possibility and nip it in the bud ASAP.

If you feel you are having trouble coping then I suggest you see your GP and ask for counselling from someone different to your wife's counsellor. The trick is not to let your wife feel she is making life difficult for you.

Let us know how you go on.

Regards
Mary

[ktgrik]

Hi youareloved

I am 15 and I have depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed at 13 and I have been bullied a lot lately. I have an awesome boyfriends who is great but school isn't getting better for me. I have been getting bullied by people who I thought we my friends. I have attended an all girls school since year 7, I am now year 10 and starting to feel very targeted by "Friends". I have talked to my parents and they don't see the point in changing schools. I am a very enthusiastic drama student and I hope to become a comedian or actress. Hoping to audition for WAPPA. 

[Chris_B]

Hi Jabrjori, welcome to the forums, we're here to support you and well done on making a first post.  This thread is just for introductions, so it's difficult to have a one-on-one conversation in here.  Please start a new thread in the Supporting Family & Friends forum with your story and our members will be able to assist you there.

[Pixie15]

Hi Jabrjori,

I also would like to welcome you and hope you do decide to stick around even if you do not feel like you fit in. From my experience when family members are suffering from depression and anxiety it can impact the whole family. From what you write it sounds like your parents are locked into a fairly negative relationship. Participating here may help you to understand the situation more from their perspective and that can help you know what you can and cannot do to help.

Thanks,

Pixie.

[Befree]

Hi all,

Its great to come across a site like this, especially when you've isolated yourself so much, you don't even want to see your doctor or anyone about this..

A few years ago i left my marriage, one of my parents died from cancer, and we shifted to the other side of the City.

I used to be so social, but after so many years of continuous disappointments and raising kids totally unsupported, i have found myself stuck in this rut.  I don't know where to go from here.  I know i should get out, that i should go and see someone. I've done all that before and feel like its not getting me anywhere.  

I feel like this depression and isolation is killing me.  I think about ways i could die, but i have two kids that need me and that stops me.  I used to have a small business i've thrown in.  I can't hold a job and we are scraping the bottom of the barrel.  I push my friends away and constantly make excuses to be left alone.

What do you do when you feel so down that it makes you feel sick?

Any advice would be great, thanks

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Chris_B]

Hi Befree, welcome to the forums and congratulations on making a first post. Sounds like things are really tough at the moment.

This thread is just for introductions, if you'd like to ask for advice or support from our members, please start a new thread in the Depression section.

You might also wish to look through some of the following threads for insights:

What I've learnt about dealing with depression

What things keep you positive

Losing hope, finding hope

How I finally beat depression

Tips for surfing urges

Three things to be thankful for today

Self help tips for managing depression

[Pop58]

Hi All, I've just joined this forum.  I'm 56 and have depression, I'm back in therapy with my counsellor but it's a slow and bumpy road. I'm in a great job and Am blessed with a loving and supportive wife but I'm finding each day a struggle, like today when all I want to do is hide away from the world.  I thought after my first lot of counselling that I was on the road to recovery and able to manage, but the back dog has returned stronger than before.  I hope that this forum can help as I'm so very tired of feeling numb, flat and worthless.

Stuart

[kat010101]

Hi

Im new here and I hope I'm at the right place. I've been wondering for a long time if something is wrong with me and so far I've been ignoring it. I'm still kind of in denial, I don't know if I need help or if it's all in my head or if it's just my personality (I've always been really shy) but I've been scared and sad and nervous a lot lately but isn't that normal for a 16 year old. I've read what other people have said and my case is not as extreme and I just really want some answers

[mumof2_with_anxiety]

Hi all

Im new here im 33 years old a mother of 2 young boys.

Ive had depression and anxiety for the past 12 years. It all started after i was accidentally set on fire at my 21st then had an allergic reaction to antibiotics. 

Ive been on medication for my depression and anxiety since  and every now and then feel like i cant cope.

The last 2 years have been extremely stressful and lately the support i had has now given up on me as they dont understand what its like to deal with depression and anxiety.