Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Miss_Beth]

Hi everyone

My name is Miss Beth. I'm 39 yrs old and live in Vic.

I have suffered from mild anxiety since my mid twenties and was able to control the episodes with mediation. About 4 yrs ago I had my life threatened which caused PTS. I had done nothing to provoke this attack. My PTS worsened and became depression and my anxiety went from mild to severe. To days where I couldn't even get out of bed, to sleeping with the light on at night or not sleeping at all. I remember one severe episode of anxiety I had while visiting my brother in Melbourne, before being diagnosed with PTS. We had come out of the arts center and where walking towards Flinders Street. Large city cowards had never bother me but it was all to much for me that day and I felt that my world was closing in on me and I couldn't breathe and started to panic. My poor brother who is used to a level headed sister saw a "deranged person" his words. I remember my brother almost dragging me to Flinders Street Station and placing me in the shade and sat and talked to me until I calmed down.

That episode was the catalyst in getting help from my doctor, being diagnosed put on to medication and seeing a psychologist who has given tools to deal with deal with my episodes. I not out of the woods as they say but I'm on the right path and no longer in my "black pit of despair" the name I have given my depression.

I am also the primary carer of my mum. A role I took on about 2 years ago. Having depression and anxiety gets in the way of me being able to function and my psychical health has suffered as well. All my concentration goes into caring for mum and I forget about the most important person of all Me.

All best to everyone.

Miss Beth 

[yamba]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum.

Thank you for sharing your stories.

Alice

[Gypsy22]

Hi Everyone, I am new here. I suffer from anxiety. I find it helps me sometimes to talk to others before i reach the climax of a full blown attack. I get severe heart palpitations, shaking, uncontrollable crying etc. It frustrates me because I know half the reasons i suffer these attacks i have no control over them aspects of my life and i should just try make the best of it and move on, this is alot easier said then done. It helps to know that one day I might get some contol over my anxiety. 

[Blue_Babe]

Dear MegW,

WOW!  And Again I say WOW!  Woman you are a true inspiration!  OMG!!  I wish I had the determination that you have!  You are an awesome example of STRENGTH OF SPIRIT!!  I applaud you!  You have my utmost respect for what you've done with your life regarding getting back to "You". 

I am so glad I took the time to read your post.  It got me thinking!  In a POSITIVE way for a change.  Respect, respect respect!!!

Blue Babe.

[mattyj]

hi all I'm Matt, most of my friends call me Matty j.

I'm 24, the product of an abusive relationship. I was diagnosed with aspergers at an early age so I'm a little quirky. my father left at 6-7 and that affected me quite a bit. I have carried a lot of rage with me since then. as I got older the world got darker and depression sent me into a downward spiral. since then I've had ups and downs, a couple of break ups, a couple of breakdowns, moved out of home only to come back when things got too much (a few times now) currently living with my soon to be divorced mother in her soon to be sold house, no car, no job and no direction. it's more than a little tough right now...

that being said I'm usually willing to help if and when I can (if I'm not too clouded at the time)

[Ampersand]

Hello everyone,

My name is Emma and I am twenty two years old. Given that my name is fairly common on these boards; I'm going to be answering moreso to Ampersand or &, since that's where the screen name is derived from. Awesome character &, it's written so differently across typefaces and font families, not to mention handwriting!

On top of my clinical depression, post traumatic stress disorder and physical disability, I identify as nonbinary or genderqueer. That is, the umbrella term for not identifying as a man or woman. Given my name, it's probably obvious what I was labeled with at birth. That being said, I answer to all pronouns. I'm still closeted if you will, in that I haven't revealed this my family. I'm not sure they'd understand and currently I'm okay with the way things are, even if the mention of having a "Girls day out" with my sisters is like a whip cracking in the air. I'm afraid they'll realise and shun me. Probably irrational given that I wear men's clothing and get men's haircuts, but on the other hand my father disowned me in all but words because of my disability. Whatever, it's his loss.

Enough about my problems. I'm currently studying a Diploma in Interactive Digital Media. This is my third attempt at getting a qualification, and hopefully will be my first successful one. I dropped out of highschool in Year Nine, thanks to the physical disability that pretty much steamrolled whatever hopes and dreams I had back then. Worst decision of my life, let me tell you. I'm back on the wagon with education now, and once I earn my Diploma, it'll give me the tools to get into the next course that I've been eyeing up for a few years. My dream is to work in the game development and design industry; to maybe, one day, have a hand in making the very things that helped me cope through dark and desolate times.

I'm currently in one of my more emotionally stable and rational phases. It's a good feeling, like I can tackle my problems head on without a care in the world for what other people think of me. I'm not sure how long it's going to last, so I'm making the most of it by seeking help... by coming here. Sure beats the pity party I was holding for myself last week. An explosive argument brought all those feelings to the surface in a mess of tears and rage. By doing this I'm hoping to avoid another one of those episodes. Rather embarrassing they are, I do become quite the blubbering mess when I cry. Well, I'm out of room, so see everyone around. 🙂

[Optimist_Prime1]

Tonight I registered and I've found myself transfixed by the sheer number of kindred spirits here. Those who come from such vast backgrounds and circumstances, but who share a common bond, and are honest enough and caring enough to share and to guide and to make laugh and to admit when things just really do feel crummy.

 I cannot sleep tonight. But its less about the current bout of depression and more about the amazing 'discovery' I feel I've made. I feel compelled to introduce myself and share a bit of what makes me 'me', and what I hope to achieve.

I'm 33, single and work in the emergency services. Since I was in my teens I felt out of place, ill-equipped, and really as though I was just existing on the fringes of life. I would get down, really down, but didn't understand it. I struggled with a strict, negative and relatively unloving childhood and took solace in my shell.

That shell was blown away during my 20's though, due to a relationship with a wonderful, spirited and compassionate partner who introduced me to the true love of a family, and taught me how to value myself.

I finally saw a GP in 2007. It felt like a great weight lifted, but replaced with the greater weight of 'how do I beat this?' Various medications, psychologists, and psychiatrists later (and not to forget the love and support of family and friends), and I am still wrangling with that question.

 I have been diagnosed with depression and, under conjecture, bi-polar disorder.

Via a wonderful Psychologist i have come to appreciate that my parents likely did the best they could in raising me and my siblings, and likely struggled with the effects of their own upbringings. The relatonship is now the healthiest it has ever been. 

i have been down the dark path before, and like many stories I've read, find that this is the exact time when it is the hardest to reach out to others. In fact, to do any of those things you appreciate are in your best interest to do. I find this a particularly cruel and twisted aspect of depression. 

A few people mentioned drawing pictures to represent how they feel. I've never tried that until now and my drawing would be a person walking along a bumpy road with intermittent pot holes the size of chasms. So far I've always managed to climb out of them, and then I realised something else. Whether you're skipping along the road or curled up in a ball at the bottom of one of those chasms, the sun will still be able to shine on you.

[Marcsa]

Hi Everyone,

A small introduction. I am in my 50th year. I have two grown-up (ish) children. I am single. I found out at age 43 that I was adopted. I think that ever since I became aware of all the bits and pieces of life that are beyond my control, I have been anxious and depressed on and off for my entire existence. Some say that as an adopted person, I may have suffered a form of PTSD. I'm not sure, but I know that a lot of my misery seems to be of unexplained origins. Both my parents who adopted me are deceased. My eldest child (26) is Aspergers, but it is my second - seemingly Neurotypical child- who is causing me the most angst at this time. I guess I had been relying on him to be more caring and kind to me now he is an adult(20). So far, a lot of teenage inducing trauma is all that I'm getting. ( Sorry if that sounds cryptic). Basically, I'm just having a hard time with this adult/child relationship and partly because I don't have a partner there isn't anyone to share my feelings.

Cheers,

M

[the_motorcycle_boy]

Hi All,

I'm a 54 yr old male who loves movies and is trying to eventually write a screenplay about a person who has severe depression. Scriptwriting is a very hard skill to master but I have completed a 6 month course in it and have purchased approx. 10 "how to" books from the internet which I am in the process of carefully studying. It's great to have a goal to aim for but I am relishing the learning as well which is important. I've sufferred with depression for a long while and just now, in 2015, I am nearly fully recovered. It is most welcome. I suffer from endogenous depression which has no single, clearcut cause.

My other interests include chess, music, TV, eating out, working on the computer and travelling, even just a short drive in the countryside will do me.

I'm lucky to have some really good friends, as I have lost many during my time with illness. That's why Beyond Blue is such a good place to meet and share.

Now, I am contemplating  doing volunteer work as a way to meet people but I just need to wait a bit longer till I feel completely well. It feels a bit scary, working again, Last time I worked as a Residential Support Worker providing assistance to people living in the community with mental illnesses. It was very rewarding and paid well! but ironically I had to quit in the end due to my ill health. After that, I did 4 or 5 years P/T at Open Universities which I enjoyed a lot.

Nice to meet everyone,

TMB

[HA1]

Hi TMB - welcome!

So, down to the nitty gritty, whats your favourite ride?

Mine (though showing my age) is Pre Unit Trumpy Bonny.

Take care

K