Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Wonderer]

Wondering about the things I do, and wondering if others do the same things too, led me to beyondblue.  New to this, but willing to share. Am mostly unhappy and guilty about everything and wonder why when there are others with more severe problems. I see a psychiatrist and am on medication. I thought I was over it all before and stopped taling the pills but the depression came back worse than before and I had another mini breakdown. I also have OCD which makes me pray for forgiveness constantly whenever it pops into my head. Its more the routine I think than the religion but I feel I am being punished and am lost insidey own head. Now I seek escape through sleep in between the dreams, but when I wake up, the problems come flooding back and I feel anxious so start praying again.

 I wondered if anybody else felt this way and also just wanted to day hello and try to have a merry xmas. I seem to get worse at this time of the year seeing all the happy people and wondering if I can ever be happy again.

[Angie56]

Hi Delwin and everyone else.  My name is Angie, I am new to this forum.  Can someone help me create a thread.

[blue_bellbird]

Hello everyone ,  where do I begin?  I am new to beyondblue and this forum.  I have just laid to rest the love of my life on 24/12 who died suddenly and was the fittest healthy person at 40.  So my life and Xmas sucks this year.  I have battled depression for many many years and only recently have I been able to enjoy life again with my new partner.  I am going thru a divorce with a nasty man who is waiting for me to have a breakdown and come and take our child who is 6.  I am devastated and I cant seem to comprehend the loss and all I want to do is hold him again.  My depression is OTT and my anxiety is sky high, mixed in with grief and loss.  I am a mess and I cant sleep, not eating.

[Rubberbum]

Hi Anali.  I read your post and it is similar to my situation.  I first became depressed 5 years ago.  It took several months to pass and I just bounced back with in a few days.  This time round it is more severe and has been going on for quite a few months again.  My GP gave me some tips on how to manage my depression and I did come good for 3 weeks.  Christmas is here and I have fallen down again.  I wish there was an easy fix and a solution but all my searching has shown me that it is up to me to get well.  I joined a group called GROW don't know if you have heard of it as it is Australia wide.  It is a support group basically.  Meets once a week and is there for all to encourage each other in there difficulties in life.  This felt good to share with someone and I expect seen as your post is a few months old, I hope you are well.  regards Lorraine.

[girl_interrupted]

Hi! Newbie here. Just wanting to connect with others who may be experiencing similar to myself. Only recently I was diagnosed with Bipolar and BPD but have had depression and anxiety since my early 20s. This is especially a tough time for so many of us. Its overwhelming seeing so many ppl reaching out for help. I'm hoping BB will b able to provide me with more tools and coping strategies and i look fwd to hearing some of these incredible stories of courage and personal triumph and hopefully learn more about myself along the way. We're all on the same journey, just different paths..

[Niksta]

Hi, I'm Nikki and this is my first post. I've never really looked at the BB site in depth until today. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I was looking for something that my partner could read to learn how to support me. Thank you BB because I found that carers information PDF and emailed it to him!

As to why I was looking for info: I spiralled into my 'pit', as I call my depression, just before Christmas and I haven't been able to get out. Then the anxiety kicked in and I lashed out at my partner and -as usual- he backed off completely. I see a psych and I have talked about everything with my partner and he always promises to help. Then I spiral and he keeps his distance. We've been together for thirteen years and its pretty good most of the time. He's smart and funny and loves me to pieces(apparently). According to my psych I'm an INFJ type and my partner is an ENTP. We're supposed to be really compatible and for the most part we are. The emotional connection we have seems to disconnect when I fall in the Pit and he just leaves me there. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I suggest he comes to one of my psych sessions? Will he get  an explanation of how to support me?

To top it off, my mother invited us to Christmas dinner and I haven't spoken to her in two years. Cue the massive anxiety spike. We went and she ambushed me with hugs. We are not a hugging family btw. More anxiety because I realised that I feel nothing for her and she was trying to be family-ish. So, it's been a weird, crappy and anxiety ridden Christmas/new year! 

Sorry for the long post

[Mal60]

Hello, this is my first post on this forum.

I am a 54 year old, single guy who is being physically and psychologically "crushed" by depression and anxiety.  It is impacting upon every facet of my life.  It has become an overwhelming challenge to face each day.  I am constantly fatigued and find few, if any, activities that make me feel "better".  

Unfortunately, my only form of escapism from the "real world" is gambling, which I cannot afford.  I also have significant medical issues which impede my ability to function effectively.  Suicidal thoughts are frequent.  Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up.  Then I can finally be at peace, and the torment will end.

I have sought professional help from my GP and a clinical psychologist.  I have also contacted Lifeline.  I appreciate their empathy and constructive advice, but it only seems to have some beneficial effect "in the moment".  When I am on my own, the negativity and reality returns like a living nightmare.  I fear the time may come when the 'Black Dog' will consume me.

Thank you for taking the time to read my battle with depression and anxiety.  I hope you find the peace we all seek.

[MegW]

We are such a diverse bunch :).  I am Meg, 44, I have had depression for a long time, possibly stemming from the death of my parents at an early age.  I have not had very successful relationships in my life.  In the last four years I have stopped trying to find a partner or becoming involved in relationships or relying on others and kept to myself and begun to take charge of my own life, demons and emotions.  I am climbing gradually out of debt and to focus on my own interests and develop them, I have begun to direct my career in the direction I would like to see it go.  I feel very much better though always aware that the deep depression may come back at anytime, I feel good but precarious, sometimes I still catch a glimpse of the dog out of the corner of my eye.  I have become happy and comfortable in my own company and with being single, in a relationship I always feel pulled in all different directions and lose my sense of me, sometimes I don't know if I am living my life or for someone else's, I have tended to just follow along with others dream without even wondering what my own were, I also do not trust having been used and abused many times.  The last person I tried dating with after just a few months wanted me to support him so that he did not have to work any longer and wanted the whole relationship on his terms, it was at that point I gave up, I had enough of being used and giving and giving and being used and treated like rubbish in return.  I used to think that if you gave and were good and tried your best it would be returned, come back to you, but most just seem to take advantage and they end up with all and me with nothing so now I protect myself a lot better.  I have my beautiful fur kids, two tiny dogs and two cats that I love with my all.  They are my responsibility and I love and look after them, they mean so much to me.  I love going to dog club with my new pup and my older rescue dog helped so much to lift my depression, my cats are rescues also and so fun and loving.  I have my sports, running (I love Parkrun), cycling, gym.  I have managed to change the direction of my career to something I would really like to have a go at starting this year so looking forward to that and should be clear of debt by the end of the year and able to begin saving for a proper home for me and my pets with an outdoor area for my cats where they can be safely outdoors touching the grass and climbing trees, this is what I dream of. 🙂

[Toby52]

Hi

This is my first post. 

I have had major depression for the last 5 years in my 20's, I was free of it for 16 years and have now been unwell again for a bit over 10 years. I have been using every help avenue for a long time but have been treading water. 

I have lost my confidence and gained weight so I hide away most of the time so no one can see me.

I have a few physical health issues which don't help. My husband also has some health problems and I worry constantly about him.

I like to read that others are trying to get through this as well and I wish everyone all the best.

Thanks for listening.

[Alone_and_Empty__]

Hi everyone.. I have tried for a long time to come for urgen help.. Yes im here now thankyou