Lost

[BillieJean84]

Hi I am 39yr old female and I am new here. I am not sure where to start but I am feeling down and I am looking for advice. I have found myself lonely and lost again in life and I feel like I am not going anywhere. The magic of my youth has gone and I have no real purpose. Apologies, I sound ungrateful but I am really lost. I have gained weight and backed myself into corner, where I have no energy and have lost my sparkle. I keep annoying people and don’t seem to get things right. 

[Mark Z.]

Hi BillieJean84,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit low right now. Life is a roller coaster for many of us including me, filled with uncertainties and moments of self-questioning.

But even such tough times can be viewed as a hidden opportunity. From my experience, these are the moments where we can pause, look inside, and rediscover what truly lights us up. Ask yourself, what job or activities make your heart sing? Is there a hobby or passion you've forgotten about, or perhaps a new one waiting to be discovered? Spending time on things you love could be just the fuel to reignite your spark.

Next, set manageable goals. Start with small, achievable steps that are personal, professional, or even health-related. Remember to celebrate every little victory along the way. This can give you a sense of purpose and direction, making life feel more rewarding.

During such times, companionship is more valuable than ever. Feelings of disconnection can be soothed by reaching out to others. Engage with new people, join clubs or groups that align with your interests. Volunteering can be a beautiful way to connect with like-minded souls while giving back to your community. You'd be surprised at the ideas and inspiration that can come from simply being around others.

Visiting this forum is a great step, as asking for help is a sign of strength. If you need it, also don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or even professional help such as a counselor or therapist. Sharing your feelings and thoughts can often shed a fresh perspective on things.

Discovering your purpose isn't a race, but a journey. It can be as much about reconnecting with the essence of your old self as it is about exploring the untapped aspects of your new self. Be open to new experiences, embrace personal growth, and be gentle with yourself along the way. Allow your past experiences to guide you, while letting your curiosity carve new paths. A positive outlook, accompanied by small, intentional steps forward, will gradually help you build your confidence and reveal the amazing potential within you.

Warmly,

Mark

[geoff]

Hello BillieJean84, you must never feel ungrateful at all, we have to go through so much in life and now having no energy or loss of the sparkle you once had may be the cause of developing any type of depression.

Talking with other people is not easy when you are feeling like this and if they become annoyed, then take a step back and write down on some paper when this happens, so you can take this information to a counsellor and then discuss all of this with them.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[BillieJean84]

Thank you 😊

[BillieJean84]

Thank you 😊 

[indigo22]

Hello BillieJean84,

Welcome and thank you for having the courage to express what you are feeling. I can relate to many of the feelings you have spoken about so I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you. I was able to read between the lines and some things are obvious to me but I know when you are in the middle of feeling down and lost it gets harder to see things clearly. I would like to ask you some questions to ponder on if that's ok. I wonder if this phase of your life may be for a reason.

Could it be that you are alone at the moment because you need to be, perhaps to work on figuring out what really matters to you?

Could it be that you are lost at the moment and feel you have no purpose because you are meant to take this time to figure out what your true purpose is? Perhaps reading about things that spark your interest.

Is it possible that the weight gain is a form of protection for emotional sensitivity? You will have less energy with weight gain but even more so if you are neglecting to feed your body with nutritious foods.

Your final sentence speaks volumes. Could it be that the reason you feel you keep annoying people and can't seen to get things right is that you have lost your feeling of self-worth?

It is time to start loving yourself. Loving yourself means seeing yourself as every bit as important as every other person on the planet. At the moment you are seeing yourself as less. My suggestion would be to speak with a counsellor to help you figure out what the cause of your depressed mood is. Then take this time alone to figure out who you are and what inspires you, improve your nutrition (as that has an effect on mental health also) and treat yourself with kindness and respect.

I hope this has been of some help to you, please come back to this post and let us know how things are going.

Sending you a big hug.

indigo22

[BillieJean84]

Hi indigo22,

Thank you for your lovely post and the thing is I have never had any self worth. I just don’t know what to do anymore, because what I thought would happen such as a career, family and a house of my own is no longer possible. I am getting older and I am worried about what’s going to happen to me. I am truly lost. I will look to talking to someone. Again, thank you 😊