Lost

[Anonymous_person]

Hi

im new to bb and have decided that despite having a supportive network of family and friends and doctors I still feel blue and do not feel I have a safe haven to discuss about all the problems I have sometimes daily and afraid no one understands me and how it ain't that easy for me as I struggle daily to overcome an illness I never had before yet this has been a challenge daily and i keep all my emotions and feelings to myself despite all my family and friends reminding me to speak out as it helps yet I'm so afraid I'll be judged weak and hopeless and not wanting to go through the efforts of explaining what I go through only to get a blank response without any advice and rather that's deep...

so I hope that joining a forum will allow me to express myself and speak out as I practice to do this in person and not be afraid of being judged.

so I just returned from a holiday trip with my family and upon returning everyone discussed their wonderful experiences whilst I felt overwhelmed and hid in my room munching away mindlessly on chocolate only to keep questioning myself why I cannot seem to express all the joy I experienced on the trip but hide away from everyone and look negatively upon myself as i look for a place to move out from. Being diagnosed with depression and anxiety and really thought a holiday trip would be the best thing for me right now only to have a family dispute with a sibling to which we have overcome yet I'm still sad about it...I want to let go and move on but I just keep looking back at the past and an negative experience attached...pls help me

[blondguy]

Hello Anon

Im sorry that you are in a dark place right now. The forums have many kind folk that can be here for you in these times of difficulty.

Feeling overwhelmed can be daunting. I understand after having acute anxiety for many years and now depression

It great that you already have doctors that can help you and good on you for having organised them too!

Looking back into our past is very common and easy for a 'tired' mind to do. Im not sure how regular you visit your counselor but the more frequent the better your recovery will be. I had weekly therapy for my anxiety and even though I initially loathed it...the end result really helped me with not bouncing myself back into my past again

The anxiety & depression also reduced a great deal too 🙂

These forums are rock solid secure to ensure you can post in comfort and safety

The good news! is that anxiety symptoms do lose their severity over time with regular counseling

Even if you just need a chat or want to discuss your problems you are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish 🙂

please be gentle with yourself

Paul

[Anonymous_person]

Thank you for responding to my post it is nice to receive a response that there is someone else out there who relates with me. The truth is that I did not organise the doctors my family noticed there was something different about me and suggested I see doctors. I don't like seeing the psychologist as I feel she doesn't do much for me. All we do when I arrive is she ask how I've been and I'll respond well its been 2 weeks and I seem to be struggling with consuming excessively and she responded well I don't want to hold you back with any rules so just go ahead. I wonder how other psychologists appointments are as I do not feel any better coming out of the appointments...so I'm going to get another psychologist so any tips on expectations of a psychologist appointment would help

your words give me hope and I wish I can come out of this mental illness as you did

[blondguy]

Hi Anon

Thanks for posting back 🙂

There are heaps of kind people like yourself that also have similar levels of depression and anxiety.

In a nutshell, I wasted years getting infrequent counseling with a psychologist with my barriers up and not letting my 'guard' down. This was one of the dumbest things I have done..

I found a mental health care worker through my council (he was a psychiatric nurse) and said he would help me as long as I agreed to weekly visits....I reluctantly agreed...

The good news was he had me crying my eyes out once he found one of the triggers for my anxiety which was my dad and my upbringing. I felt so awkward and embarrassed by crying that I was more worried about what the receptionist would think when I left, instead of the healing that just happened.

The next couple of days were wonderful...He have me my life back....Sure there were still pangs of anxiety and some lows of depression weeks later but he (or a good psychologist) made sure I couldnt hide behind my bravado anymore....

I guess that why there is a box of tissues on the table....

Speaking from the heart..even about uncomfortable issues does hurt.....and if we burst into tears in front of a psychologist then the healing really starts

Sometimes our own 'barriers' to opening up to a doc can be responsible for how long we actually suffer from this awful illness.

you are not alone here Anon

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[gld]

Hi Anonymous person,

Love coming to this place reading and contributing with this community as it has shown me that i am not alone with these feelings. It is a great place to share and have others to contribute without judging.

Great to read you have a support network who have helped you start your journey with health professionals. I feel there is no hard fast rule saying you have to stay with a health professional if you do not feel comfortable with them. Sometimes when you first start seeing someone it could take some time to feel comfortable sharing and giving them feedback so they have a better understanding of how you are going with your appointments. Having an open line of communication is a good start and if you find it hard to speak up at first i have found writing things down has been helpful.

As blondguy put in his post be gentle on yourself as it is vital you do not put extra pressure on yourself while you are starting your new journey. Glad to see in your post you had experienced a great time on you holiday, could you compile some pictures of your holiday and make a collage for the family. There are other ways to express yourself if you are not a person who chats a lot.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time without beating yourself up.

Gen