Lost & Feeling Helpless

[DDee]

Hi,
I'm new to BB , I am a recovering Alcoholic. I have lost my family & myself completely.
I'm on shaky ground and just need some advice, support & encouragement.
I've suffered with an Anxiety Disorder for as long as I can remember.
I have been forced to leave my husband & two children & am now living with my parents who are caring for me while I learn to walk again.....it's terrifying.
I've hit Rock Bottom many times, and been in & out of Rehab, this time it's cost me my family.
I am tired of the emotional pain & struggling to cope but I think about the girls and know that I am loved by too many people to give up.
I have to find a way out of the darkness...yet again.
I have done it before & I'll do it again & I truly hope this pain can serve a useful purpose eventually.
Dee

[Quercus]

Hello Dee,

Welcome to the forum family, I'm glad you've reached out and are talking about what you're going through.

This is a safe place and you'll find other stories here where people have shared their journey learning to manage alcoholism. If you search for posts by a member called Soberlicious her story might be helpful to read.

You mentioned hitting rock bottom and although it feels awful there is no shame here in speaking openly. One of the benefits I have found in feeling like life is at it's worst is that it allowed me to admit I needed support. We don't have to do it all alone. It is reassuring to hear you have the support of your parents also.

Leaving your family to get the help you need is such a brave step. I hope you're able to see that too.

I love how you ended your post. You've done it before and you'll do it again. This is an inspiring statement.

Although alcohol is not part of my personal story (I don't drink in support of a family member who struggles with booze though) I wanted to reply to welcome you. Others will reply in time and in the meantime you can join in wherever you like.

Nat

[Summer Rose]

Hi DDee

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I think you are both amazing and strong to have overcome alcohol addiction. I know how tough it is, as my dad was an alcoholic and I grew up watching his struggles.

I'm so glad that you have your parents supporting you and that you are not alone right now. You also have this community to talk to, and there are many people here who will walk with you along your path to better health.

You may be separated from your girls right now, but I don't believe that you have "lost" them. While I hated alcohol as a kid, I always loved my dad. Give it time.

Right now you need to work on yourself, so that you can give your girls the best possible version of you. That will be the most precious gift you will ever give them.

One day a time, my friend. And please don't be too hard on yourself, you can do this.

Courage