Lost and don't know how to get "un-lost"

[Flippybid]

Don't know where to start, really!

I am feeling lost in life, seriously lost.
Don't get me wrong, I am having a good, well-paying job which I like to do.
However, my problems with myself start to show at work.

I more often than not think that people don't like me, that they are talking behind my back and so on.
This has led to me being partially isolated in private life... heck not partially, I am isolated.

The same that has happened in my private life is now moving into my worklife.
People telling me I am doing a good job but I KNOW I am under-performing. I think people will move against me at work if they have opposing opinions. Constructive criticism is taking personal etc.

I like my work mates but I think I turn into a real problem to them due to my own issues.

I would like to get help but I honestly struggle with calling a person I don't even know. I also have issues with going to a GP and say "Hey, I am feeling mentally shit most of the time. Can you help?"

This may sound silly, but every time I am visiting my family and they are around me all day, I am feeling a lot better mentally. I am more refreshed, feel more confident and simply enjoy my life a lot more.
Unfortunately, my Family is living in Europe and I can visit them once a year, only.

Now, I am also not sure if such a move would be advisable e.g. radical change of your environment. I also would have to explain the situation to my Manager and I am unsure if that is advisable though I believe he opened the door for a general health conversation just recently.


Anyhow, I actually just want to figure out what options I have, who to contact and any other recommendation.

Your help is much appreciated.

[luckyman]

G'day Flippybid,

Mate I have been where you are and get it completely. I went through a lot of stuff in recent years and made the mistake of airing that to work colleagues and then feeling like a goose for doing it afterwards. Now I think what have I done? What are they thinking? What are they saying? etc..

It's that kind of pressure that you put yourself under, that then starts to affect your day to day life, and yes, I ended up withdrawing from people both at work and personally too.

For what it is worth, go to your GP and ask for a mental health plan. Also I am not sure if you are aware but a lot of work places nowadays have what's called Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) which you can contact confidentially and speak to a counselor over the phone for free. Even if you just contact them to get some references for a good person to speak to and then get your mental health plan in place and you are on your way mate.

Remember work is a bit like facebook. You see everyone's game faces, not the what they are dealing with. Remember you are not alone, ever! Everyone has stuff going on, but a lot will hide that away and pretend it doesn't exist or they are too scared of being found out they are human like the rest of us.

Don't let your ego buy into that, it's all an illusion. We all have stuff to deal with so don't sweat anyone else's perceptions of you, it is your thoughts about yourself that matter the most. You are already on your way champ by reaching out on here.

I hope this helps to get you to put yourself first here and also to go a bit easy on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you, you're just human mate!

Cheers.

[PatT]

Hi Flippybid,

Welcome to the forums. It sounds a bit like you're dealing with some anxiety that's affecting your social life but you don't really have any avenues to discuss it. Have you thought about booking a session with a psychologist? It could be really valuable and getting it out of your own head and into the hands of somebody who has the experience to help you manage it. Isolation is pretty much synonymous with anxiety and depression. I know I always withdraw when I'm feeling my worst, even though I know it only makes the situation much worse.

Book in a session with your GP, get a mental health plan (subsidised trips to the psych) and find a good psychologist to help you figure it out. Also, is there anything you can do to kind of force yourself into an environment where you have to speak to people? Like after work drinks or have you thought about joining a social club like a sports team, gym etc. where you can meet new people? Just a thought,

Pat.