Just saying hello

[vegemite_on_toast]

I have always had a solid group of friends however over the last two years so much has happened and we have all drifted apart, leaving a bit of a hole in my heart. I am in a relationship with a man who is simply incredible. I have returned to uni and am working casually which means I have a lot of my plate throughout semester and it leaves little time for socialising with my friends and puts my partner under a lot of strain - as he is the only one who i see regularly and therefore i discuss everything with him and its a bit much.

I ensure I make simple plans like dinners, however people cancel on me a lot and it makes me feel lonely and kinda unappreciated. I make sure I call people and have sincere conversations however I am feeling somewhat exhausted from all the trying.. and when I stop my phone doesn't ring, and I inevitably don't end up speaking to anyone for weeks at a time which upsets me so much. I know I am loved, I know that my friends are busy with children, work, life, partying, yoga and all the other glorious stuff they get up to, but the crappy feeling it still there, when logic doesn't really comfort.

I have a history of depression.. it was an extremely tough time for me and I am super aware of my emotions and do not want to fall back into a dark place. Soooo my point is.. i am online for a chat.. with people who are bloody lovely (from what I have read), empathetic, funny, thoughtful and kind.

x V

[Pysis]

Hi vegie

ive had a rest so I'm feeling up to writing a response now.

i wish I did a lot with my time but I had surgery recently on my hip so I'm a bit limited as to what I can do and I find it hard to get motivated at the moment with my depression.

I think if you keep going what ever you meant to do you'll end up doing you just have to be open to it. Studie is hard especially if your struggling with assessments I find exams and thighs difficult to. I get what you mean I loved my studie before I got depressed and now I struggle to get myself motivated to do it I think it's mainly becuase I struggle to focus at the moment and formulate my sentences properly.

I live up near Bednigo, my cousins live in Melbourne honestly I hate the city I struggle going into Bendigo these days to many people for me and I don't it's just so noisy.

im sorry to hear about you dad as well.

um I came to these forums becuase really at the moment I don't have anyone at all, I have two close friends one of them I would never tell about me being depressed becuase he just dosent understand and my other friend who is my best friend started a new nob 5 months ago and dosent have time for her own kids let alone me. Around the time my freind got her new job I got depressed everything just got to much for me I was sick for a month and lost 17 kg and I had a heap of repressed memories around my dads abuse raise there heads and then when my freind got her new job it kind of just broke me I had no one left in my life who cared about me or was able to be there for me. My freind honestly is like my sister she's 18 years older than me so she's 37 and I've known her since I was 12 and she's just always been there I guess and now it kind of feels like I've lost her. I've had a lot happen in my life and I've managed to get through it all but only becuase I stuffed my emotions down and I think every thing just had to come out. I'm doing better now but I have some really bad days still, I'm finding the forums really good just to have people to talk to who care and know what it's like means so much.

Thinking of you

Nath

[vegemite_on_toast]

I am going to write to you again tomorrow.. let me think of a reply.

x V

[Pysis]

Yep sure

sorry if it was a bit much.

i hope your ok

Nath