Introduction...newbie

[RitaAnne]

Hello,

Where would we be without Beyond Blue? I would have no one to confide in. I can’t stop crying and I hide it day in and day out but I don’t have to hide it when I call BB. Single mum of two 100% care. Ex husband who was also my best friend cheated. Not in a million years would I of expected that happening. Broken family, heart, faith and mind. The loneliness is just sad really. People say do something for you. Yeah who with? Myself? I’m tired of doing things with myself. I just wish I had a best friend, someone I could call on, talk to. People have their own lives, happy lives with others and at the end of the day they won’t do anything for me. It’s a waste of breath and you once again get let down. Sorry it’s depressing. I would appreciate any advice if possible. I look forward to reading other threads.

[geoff]

Hello RitaAnne, and a warm welcome and it's so disappointing to know what you have had to experience and you definitely have our thoughts.

Once something like this actually happens you are shocked, surprised and terribly upset that your best friend and husband has cheated on you.

No excuse would be able to solve this and no 'ifs or buts' would be an answer at all, and now you want to move on, that's a positive attitude but know that it's not as easy as it sounds, because there must be so much that you're thinking about, but it's important for you to ask these questions at a time that suits you.

Show any emotion you want and if you try and hide it then it will be so much harder and that's what we don't want to happen.

We don't know the age of your two children but a first step or you is to book an appointment with your doctor and maybe a suggestion is to write down, not only how you feel, but what has happened, this will make it slightly easier to let them know the situation.

As you say 'ex' then there is much that needs to be sorted out and hope to hear back from you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[RitaAnne]

Hi Geoff,

Firstly thank you for taking the time to reply.

I have a 12 & 16 year old. The break up of our family happened almost 4 years ago. I found out early feb about his affair and there is no set date as he strung me along, played mind games and by the time it was over I had lost 15kgs from stress and was crying everyday so I know it was April/May time but I was in a big cloud of depression and anxiety then. He abandoned me with two kids who were hurting and I was a mess. I have no idea how I got through that. No time for me to process as I had work and the kids who were sleeping in my bed after he walked out. So they were with me all day/ night except when they were at school. The fact I’m still recovering or healing I don’t know is embarrassing as other people I know get over it and move on. I don’t want to burden anyone with this because of that reason. I saw a psych last week and she said I have PTSD. I feel stuck.

[geoff]

Hello RitaAnne, thanks for getting back and realise how devastating all of this has been and feel very sorry for you and the kids and would be horrified if the same happened to me, my ex-wife left me for other reasons, which have been mentioned on the forums.

There is no need for you to be embarrassed, you have many people who support you and really want to help you as much s possible.

With your kids who also must be trying to understand, they can talk to Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 either online, by phone or in person, these are trained counsellors who dress casually, reducing the formality and they do this for 5 year olds up to 25 years of age.

Other places they can contact are Reachout, Sane and HeadSpace.

I realise how you are feeling and worry about you, so please if you want, just talk with us so we can try and build up your confidence and much needed strength.

Our best wishes.

Geoff.

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