Introducing myself

[rhinoceros]

Hello,

I thought I should introduce myself to this forum.

I'm male, 23 years old. I started displaying signs of depression and anxiety when I was around 13 years old. Over time these symptoms became worse. At the age of 17 I attempted to commit suicide. The support of my family helped me greatly through this time, and I was prescribed medication by my GP. Since then I still have suicidal thoughts but I would never attempt such a thing. Currently I still have depression, but it is well managed, and recently I have developed a case of performance anxiety with my new partner. This has had a negative effect on my depression as I'm sure you could imagine.

I am coping well with my depression, I have a job and work as a jazz musician in the evenings. I feel that I am functioning well most of the time. Some days a really tough, but overall I can manage.

At this point I'd like to graduallywean off the medication. I experience some side effects; my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be, and my head often feels 'cloudy', for want of a better word. The medication I'm on has some truly horrific withdrawal symptoms so I am a bit nervous about coming off it.

It would be good to hear about other peoples experiences with medications, as well as weaning off medications in particular.

beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[white knight]

Hi Rhinoceros, welcome

Whenever someone mentions weaning themselves off medication I get nervous because sometimes it isn't under the guidence if their GP.

Meds are often lifelong. There are countless examples on the forum of people's symptoms.s returning over time.

Consulting your GP for another med would be in your interest.

Anyway welcome here and I hope you enjoy the site.

You might want to google the following for a read

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Topic: medication is a whirlpool- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Zeal]

Hi rhinoceros,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm glad you are over the worst of your depression, and were able to fight back after the suicide attempt. You are one of the survivors, and that's amazing. Still keep in touch with your doctor though, to help ensure the suicidal thoughts stay under control.

It's great that you are a jazz musician! Which instrument do you play? I am impressed by those who possess musical or artistic talent. I personally cannot sing, dance, act, play a musical instrument, or draw/paint.
I guess I should properly introduce myself! I am a 23 year old female who was diagnosed with OCD (anxiety disorder) at 13, and experienced mild depression in my early teens. I still have OCD now, and the illness characteristics haven't changed much, though I am generally better able to cope now.

I have inadequate levels of the brain neurotransmitter serotonin, which is a major reason I've suffered from mental illness. I take SSRI's (classed as an antidepressant) to help with this serotonin imbalance. I have been taking it constantly since 2012, but I want to review this next month with my doctor. As Tony said, definitely wean off medication only after seeing your doctor (and only under their "supervision"). This sounds obvious to some people, but it isn't always adhered to.

I hope you can find some like-minded people on the forum! I certainly have 🙂

All the best,

SM

[rhinoceros]

Thanks for the replies! 🙂

I am not going to wean off medication without strict supervision from my doctor. I think I will hold off doing that for a while yet. My situation with work/relationships has all changed quite dramatically in the last few months. The job I had, the contract ended and I was unemployed. That was challenging, and at the same time, I split up with my girlfriend of over five years. Some how I managed to deal with that and come out on top- I have a job again, and I have a girlfriend too- she is wonderful and very supportive.

What I think might be the more sensible option is to wait around 6 months- when I have settled in to the job and relationship. At that point I can make a better assessment of how I feel, and if I am ready to try to come off my medication. What I'm hoping is that at some point I will be able to wake up in the morning and not have to take any pills!

SM- I am a guitarist. I play mostly 40's and 50's swing music. Ever since I can remember I've loved this music. I'm fortunate to work in several bands. It's funny how music can affect ones mood- I have anxiety, but not when I am playing music, I can play in front of audiences and feel totally calm.

I have found reading the posts in the forum really insightful and interesting.

[Zeal]

Hi, it's great to hear back from you!

I think your reasoning about waiting to wean off the medication (if you do decide to) is good, and it seems that you've thought the situation through well. I'm glad you weathered the job loss and break up and are now in another job and have a supportive girlfriend. It's important to be with someone who accepts you exactly as you are - anxiety and all. My boyfriend of one year is incredibly supportive, and I feel completely at ease telling him anything.

It's awesome that music is something you love and that allows the anxiety to evaporate. Being a musician definitely suits you if being in front of an audience on a stage makes you feel calm! That's amazing.

Thanks for your reply 🙂

Best wishes,

SM