In need of a friend

[AudreyP]

Hi everyone.

Im a 35 year old single parent living in WA and dealing with some pretty strong feelings of loneliness. I have no real friends (I have colleagues and acquaintances) and my family cause more issues than they fix. Right now I have some pretty amazing things happening in my life and it has made me realise just how lonely I am. I have no one I can talk to honestly about my feelings as these changes are happening. I should be feeling on top of the world right now but instead I am dealing with feelings coming to the surface that I have been keeping buried for years. It's overwhelming and casting a shadow over an otherwise wonderful time in my life.

Long story short, I feel a real need for a friend. Someone to connect with and just talk with. Someone willing to help me work through these feelings and help me not feel so alone and lonely any more.

All the avenues I have tried face to face seem to fall short so I feel like being online is the last option available.

Generally I am a pretty easy going, strong person!

[quirkywords]

Welcome Audrey,

You have made a first step by reaching out others on this forum.

Loneliness can sometimes just come up because we are often too busy to notice.

Being a single mum means putting so much energy into your children but as you have realised you need time for yourself.

This is a great place where people are ready to listen and talk.

Strong easy going people need friends and support too.

Welcome again and I look forward to learn more about you.

Quirky

[Nellym]

Hi Audrey,

Well done for reaching out on this forum. I have not been on here for long but have found the support total strangers have for you and talking to them is much better than doing the face to face thing. I do hope you continue on here and find the support you need. The other thing about this forum is that you don't have to explain why you feel this way or that way, people just get it.

My family think I am just going to "get over" what I am going through which is not the case. I have given up trying to explain it to them.

I understand loneliness. I can be surround by people and still feel lonely, and one of the reasons is that they don't understand me.

I am 39 and have two children at home.

I would love to hear about the amazing things happening in your life, but only if you would like to share them here.

Take care,

Nell

[AudreyP]

Hi Nell,

Thank you for your reply.

Right now I have some major life changes happening, and for the first time in my life I feel proud of myself. It's just overwhelming not having anyone to process it all with.

Ive just started a new job after quite a few years hidden away at home. It's in a field I am studying at uni (externally) and I am starting to meet new people, which is a pretty big deal for me as I'm socially inept. I finally feel like I am moving in the right direction after years of feeling lost and useless, and I am where I am meant to be.

What has hit me the hardest is the social aspect. I have spent years since my divorce telling myself I am fine on my own, that I am a strong, independent woman and up until now I have kept it together ok (if you ignore the emotional eating that caused significant weight gain, the hermit lifestyle and the depression that seemed to have no root cause). It's only this past week I have realised that the emotional turmoil I have been hiding for years is actually all down to loneliness.

I am now also dealing with a crush towards a colleague because they were simply nice to me. It doesn't feel good and I feel childish.

And at the end of the day, when I have finished work, the kids are in bed and I need to process/vent/talk about my day, there is no one here. For 7 years there has been no one to bounce things off and I think it's all come to a head now.

[Nellym]

Hi Audrey,

It is great to hear from you. I am glad that you have some things in your life that you are proud about and so you should. Starting a new job after all these years is great, congrats on taking that step.

Even strong, independent women need people to talk to and people there for them. We cannot do it on our own. Even though I am married, I still find myself on here most nights. And it's not that my husband isn't there for me, it's more about me not wanting to burden him with everything inside my head (my psych has a field day with this one!). You do need someone to talk to after a long day, and if this forum happens to help then that is great. It helps me unload some of the things I have to deal with which are mainly to do with my depression, anxiety and PTSD.

I don't think you are childish for having a crush on someone. From the little bit that you have written on here, you crave to be able to talk to someone and someone be there for you. Makes sense if a colleague was nice to you and you want more of that. Everybody craves that affection/attention of people.

There is a BB social zone on here too. There is a thread called "Join our circle of friendship and support" I go on there too just to have a few laughs with people especially when I need some distractions. You should check it out. There are also a lot more threads that you can check out in the social zone too.

Talk soon,

Nell

[Anna2]

Hi I'm 42 and I'm lonely I don't have any friends not had any from school take nothing I'd love to have a friend too I live qld I crude through been lonely the friends I did have didn't care about me just used me so now I got rid of them for that reason I haven't had a friend for a long long time sad as I feel I've given up hope of finding a friend I just wanted a close friend I know how you feel

[sunrise1903]

Hi audreyP

ive just joined today because I too , feel like I have no one to pick up the phone and chat too, although I don't have great news to share.

im 31 and a mother to one , I am married but lately I don't feel married and in love at all. So I get that feeling of loneliness, but I don't want to compare myself to single mothers because they do an amazing job all alone.

congratulations on your achievements what you have done as a single parent is no easy feat.

I don't know what else to say - Im happy to have a chat on here - an excuse to get away from Facebook is something I need. (I've written a post about this )

im not sure how this all works but let me know if you need a friendly ear (or eyes because we type ) !

[Alexanderv]

Hello Audrey!

Nice to meet you, My name is Alexander. i'm new in the community and i can relate on how you feel.

Sometimes we think that the internet distant us from any interaction with people, however, nowadays it's easiest and fastest way to communicate.

Hope we can share our experience and we can grow together so we can realize that we are not alone on this planet. it is just a matter of perspective. just right now, you have earned a new friend 🙂

[White_Rose]

Dear Audrey

Welcome to the forum and a welcome also to Alexanderv, Sunrise, and Anna. It's great you have chosen to post on this forum. It is a good place to be with no need to describe how you feel. We get it.

Loneliness is a hard place to be. When you have children it is almost impossible to go out at night. Sunrise I can understand your feeling of loneliness even though you have recently married. I do hope you and your husband can learn the joy of being together.

Internet communication is fast and it's very useful in many ways. Social media can be difficult as well. There is the feeling that no one will know you and it doesn't matter what you write. It can produce all sorts of problems which has become obvious to many people. Many people read these posts on BB even if they have not signed up so to speak, which is why there is a huge emphasis on privacy and anonymity.

Chat away here and find friends. It can be rewarding to talk to others. Reply to the posts of others and offer help and support. This is a place for mutual help and it's great when we feel we have helped someone. Try the BB Social Zone. Lots to do there.

Well done on starting at university. I went part time in my forties. Had a ball. Full time job and four children. Difficult at times but so worth the effort.

Come and talk some more.

Mary