I don't know what's wrong with me or how to fix it

[Holvee]

Hey I'm holly,

I have a lot going on at the moment and am kind of stuck with what to do.
My mental health has hit a low and i didn't know who to go to. I think most of my stress is with school but I also think there is something going on in my head that's been happening for a while and I am only really realising now how bad it is.
I am struggling to get any work done at the moment because every time I open my computer I completely break down. And when I get all worked up like that, I can't focus on anything like I have to read the same sentence over 3 times to actually understand what it is saying. I just feel like my brain is constantly moving and i can't slow it down and my hands or feet are always moving.
I really don't think i am going to get a QCE but if I don't get a QCE will I still be able to graduate? Honestly, I feel like dropping out of school. School isn't doing any good for me and I want to be a commercial dancer/ Jazz teacher and I don't think I need any school qualifications for that.
I also have heaps of family stuff going on. I am constantly thinking about how I look or more so how my body looks (especially because of how drastically it has changed since last year) and how other people see me. I've tried losing weight but nothing is working and it just makes me more stressed and frustrated.

The only times I am happy at the moment is on the weekends when I get to see my boyfriend. He is the only person who completely knows everything that is going on at the moment and he actually supports me (probably also because he is going through/ has been through a similar thing).
He was saying how when stuff got bad for him, he went to a doctor and got like a mental health plan or something and I think I want to do that but I wouldn't know how to talk to my parents.
My parents kind of know what's going on but not completely but I find it really hard to talk to them, about anything.

I know my dad had bad anxiety when he was younger and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if i do too.
So yeah, I am just really stuck and i can't suppress my feelings any longer.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Holly 🙂

[Emmen]

Hello Holly,

You're burdened with a lot of things right now, and it's perfectly okay to feel overwhelmed. I feel like you would benefit a lot from doing mindfulness activities. Personally I use this app called "Stop, Breathe & Think". It has a series of really short exercises to help you find your grounding and slow down your mind. There's also "Smiling Mind" and "Headspace", both of which are also excellent apps.

The problems we face in our daily lives tend to accumulate in our minds. We end up thinking about these things over and over again (sometimes even unconsciously), only realising the effect these thoughts have had on us when we start feeling overwhelmed or anxious. What these apps do is to force you to take some time off, as little as 2 minutes to 10 mins, just to breathe and reflect on your body's physical and mental state. It doesn't sound like much, but it will make a huge difference to your well-being.

Give these apps a shot first, see if you feel any better. It took me about 1 to 2 weeks of consistently managing my breathing and doing mindfulness exercises before I felt like I was in control. If, after some time, you feel like there is no difference, then it's time to consult a GP.

I'm glad you have your boyfriend to support you. If he's going through something similar, then perhaps both of you could start on these mindfulness apps together and help each other on.

Take care,
Emmen

[Holvee]

Hi Emmen,

Thank you. In the past i have tried an app called calm but I used it for sleep and it did kind of help me.

I think the hardest part is trying to find time to do this at the moment.

However, it could be worth a try.

Thanks 🙂

[Emmen]

Time is what we all struggle with when we're feeling that way. I like to think of it this way: taking 5 minutes off to do some breathing exercises is about the same as popping off to the loo for a break, or heading to the refrigerator for some snacks. If I can spend time on those, then I can certainly spend some time on the app.

Do check in and us know how you get on with the app 🙂

[Holvee]

Will do, thank you 🙂