Hi

[Peter_G_2001]

I'm Peter and I don't know if I'm just sad sometimes or do I need help. I'm normally a very happy person but sometimes I go to some dark places. I was scared of dying when I was a child so I never thought I would have these thoughts. I don't believe I have a reason to be sad but sometimes I think I'm really not worth anything. I have a amazing best friend and wonderful girlfriend but I keep messing up majorly so I think I'm doing more damage than good. I really don't think I deserve her but I feel if I lose her I might tip over the edge into dark hole. I've read some of the threads before posting and I feel everyone actually needs help and support and I'm just some guy who gets unhappy but I really dont want to talk about this with people close to me because I don't want them to treat me different.

[smallwolf]

Hi Peter,

welcome to beyond blue.

Similar to you I read posts on the forum before I made my first post. And I found some stories that sounded like mine. And if it were not a case of the recognising that I were not alone, it also flagged that I had to do something - but I cannot remember whether I had seen my psychologist for the first time at this time.

As far as people treating you differently, that does not really happen much to me, but if they ask me how I am may ask them which answer they want. And in some ways it does allow for real conversations. But if you do not feel you can talk to them that is OK.

Now, probably the best thing that you could do for yourself would be do the K10 test on the beyond blue web site which will give you a recommendation at the end. For me it said to have a chat with my GP.

And since you have read some posts, you would know that you are not alone in the thoughts or feelings that you have. I am listening to you, and if you want to chat some more.... just reply, and I will see it.

Tim

Tim

[therising]

A warm welcome to the forum Peter

You're spot on, everyone does need help and support throughout life, whether they're facing mental health issues or not. It starts when we begin life and, in my opinion, should never stop. Whether the support comes from friends, family or mental health professionals, I believe it's all a matter of finding people who can help us discover our true value and potential. Something to keep in mind along the way is that we should constantly question and challenge society's definition of 'value'. For instance, a so-called 'beautiful' face framed by 'perfect' long flowing hair can never replace the true value of a natural soulful smile. Or there can be someone 'successful' who can talk about their career achievements for a full half hour, which could never replace the valuable gift of life changing wisdom spoken in a single sentence.

I believe self-esteem is a major player in life. If it's healthy, just about nothing can stop us. If it's not, we can often be stopping to question our self. In my opinion, one of the best books ever written on the topic of self-esteem is 'The 6 pillars of self-esteem' by Nathaniel Branden. I found that it not only gave me insight into what a healthy sense of self-esteem looks like, it also gave me insight into why I was having such issues with gaining greater self-esteem. It's a powerful book.

It can be challenging when making the move to consult a GP or mental health professional, when we're being challenged by our state of mental well-being. Part of our skill development in life relies on us to constructively seek skills, even when management requires us to go outside our comfort zone. Life is definitely managed to a large degree, whether we're aware of it or not. Proof that it requires management typically comes about when things don't seem to be working out. A helpful piece of advice that I wish I was given early in life but only found recently in my 40s is something I have taught my kids: Don't ask 'What am I going to do?', instead ask 'How am I going to manage this?' Sometimes effective management/skill development will require us to reach out for help so that we can build upon the healthy beliefs we have about our self. Self love is found through personal evolution.

Take care