Hi I'm new

[Claire_Louise]

Hi I'm in my mid 40s. I've had ptsd since I was a kid due to severe family trauma. Im separated. Both my ex and eldest son have ASD. We have 2 beautiful boys together. I don't work - firstly too much anxiety for me being judged by an employer, secondly I love helping our boys - esp our eldest. He's in mainstream school but doesn't get the support he needs.

I don't have a supportive birth family, but I have plenty of long-time friends. I love meeting people and making friends, but always return to the safety/comfort/privacy of my home. I have my own hobbies and am also teaching my kids to have joint and separate hobbies.

I suffer chronic depression and panic attacks. I have a good GP and am going back to her for more help. Am also going thru menopause, which complicates my life even more.

But I try to stay positive, esp for my kids. I love my boys to bits and want them to have happy, successful lives, doing what they love. The best lesson I've learnt from my troubled past is to respect my children's lives as theirs and to honour them.

I look forward to sharing with you all.

[geoff]

hello Claire, it must be difficult for your ex husband and son who have Autism Spectrum Disorder, if that's what you are saying, plus it adds extra pressure on you and being able to cope.
There is a lot of hidden factors that are causing your PSTD, especially with your own family where you have suffering from PSTD, and I don't know whether this is being addressed by a psychologist.
At the moment there seems to be so much on your plate, but instead of also looking after your own well being, you have put your children first, this is great, however you should talk about your own condition with your GP, and by this I mean you need to talk about your depression, because the stronger you are the better your kids will be, this also includes any exhaustion you are suffering from. Geoff.

[Starwolf]

Good to meet you Claire Louise,

Thank you for sharing your story.

Caring for a special needs child takes its toll, doesn't it ? It seems like you have arranged your life around supporting your children while still acknowledging your own needs. It is a balance often difficult to maintain...well done ! They are lucky to have you as their Mum.

I have been sole carer for a disabled daughter so understand how easily burn out can set in if we're not careful. I have also struggled with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Going through menopause sure doesn't help either. Hormonal fluctuations play havoc at all levels. A tough combination to cope with...

It is good to know you are in good professional hands and have supportive friends. Your positive attitude is also a valuable asset to have on your side.

Like many other people, I have found mindfulness to be a good antidote for mental/emotional conditions. It is a shame that western cultures don't teach us that the mind can be trained and controlled. Learning to calm it down and discipline it as an adult doesn't come easy but it is well worth the hard, patient work in the long run.

Smiling Mind is a helpful app. PTSD Coach is also worth checking.

Your positive contribution is much appreciated. It is good to have you on board.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

[Claire_Louise]

Hi Geoff thanks for your reply. Yeah there's heaps on my plate, lots of triggers. Yes my ex and eldest both have Autism. My son does better than my ex. My ex won't accept he's anything like our son and it's really frustrating to watch him parent our kids. He loves our boys and does try. I'm better now I have my own space and we can share our boys without any court orders etc.

Ive had continued counselling on and off when I've needed it, since I was young. I still go. Counselling has been really helpful in terms of creating a safe and happy home for myself. I get out a lot with or without friends, and have a nice balance between social and alone time. My kids are going great and know we can all make mistakes or have down time.

I still have my issues, but they are usually put into perspective and don't consume me anymore.

[geoff]

hello Claire, that's a fabulous attitude to life, and I'm sure the counseling from when you were young to now would have changed immensely only because your situation is different now.
I realise that you are a strong lady/mum, but there would be times when you feel as though you just wished that someone could pick you up and give you a cuddle. Geoff. x