Hi! I’m new and struggling

[Lillian_M]

Hey everyone, I’m Lily. I’m 25 years old. I have had depression and anxiety on and off for a few years now, but for the past few months I have really struggled with depression. I’m seeing a psychologist who has been great, but I feel alone and reading the threads is helping me realise that there are many of you going through similar things.

I feel like I’m struggling to the point that I almost just want to give up. Every day feels like an effort. I always feel tired and lacking in energy and I stay up late with my thoughts. I find it difficult to open up to people about how I’m feeling and I don’t even know who my true friends are to confide in. This has really bothered me lately and I feel more alone than ever.

I’m getting admitted as a lawyer soon and despite this, because of my mindset at the moment, I am really lacking in motivation and have lost the drive that I once had. I am busy at work and I am hard on myself whenever I make a small mistake or don’t understand something. In my head I call myself terrible things.

Any help or sharing of experience is appreciated 🙂

[Aaronsis]

Hi Lily

Firstly I would like to say congratulations on being admitted as a lawyer, this is no easy feat so I congratulate you on the hard work you have done to achieve this in your life, well done.

I am so pleased that when you are feeling so bad you have found the forum and that reading other's posts has let you know, and so very rightly, that you are not alone, you are not on an island and we are here, together to support each other and to reach out when times are hard and you have done that.

I am also really happy that you have got the support of a professional and that you are seeing a psychologist and that this is working well for you, that is so wonderful to hear. It is hard to open up to people, especially when you don't know where you stand and you are feeling so very vulnerable and like you don't know who is on your team. Can I suggest though that this is the anxiety talking to you and that you are loved by your friends and that if you did ask one of them for a coffee or a chat that they would be there for you. I am also wondering if you have someone in your family that you could reach out to also Lily?

Please don't give up, you matter so much and this is a moment in time, while it is horrible and it is so overwhelming you are doing so many things right to work your way to wellness. Please afford yourself the time to let the journey take place and to see that there really is a better tomorrow, that there is happiness and there is hope.

Some self love would also really help too Lily, the person who you spend the most time with is you so if you are not treating yourself well then this is alot of time to be in the mud. The thoughts are just that thoughts, not actions and you don't have to do anything with them, the self talk that calls you terrible things needs to shhh now and you need and deserve to feel love, and this starts with you. We all make mistakes, all of us, however there is never a need to be so viscous to ourselves that it effects out mental health.

I have found writing to be so very helpful, to purge all the hate and all the bad things out on to paper, to get rid of it and out of me, to say the things I could never say out loud. You may never read this again and you do not have to share it with anyone, it is for you, do you think this could work for you?

We care Lily and we are here for you to chat to and to support you.

Hope to hear from you again and chat some more.

Hugs
Sarah

[Blake_S]

Hey Lily. Thank you for joining us and welcome to the forums, we are so glad you decided to reach out and have uncovered that you're not alone in your struggle with depression and anxiety. For someone who describes themselves as having difficulty opening up about their feelings, you've done a great job at giving us some insight into what has been going on for you.

It sounds like you've been struggling with depression on and off over the years, but at the moment it's very distressing and this is interfering with numerous aspects of your life. I got a sense that there is a milestone about to occur when you become admitted as a lawyer, and perhaps there might be added pressure to perform well, is this right?

I can understand how not having someone to confide in can make you feel alone, as humans, we are social creatures and often want that social support, and we are here to offer you some of that in any way possible. It is great that you are seeing a psychologist too, and I commend you for putting yourself first and actively seeking help.

Sometimes, when we are at our lowest it is hard to acknowledge the supports we have, the people that care for us and the amount that we have achieved (like being admitted as a lawyer - that is a HUGE achievement). I was wondering if you have any family, or perhaps a friend to spend some time with to do something you enjoy? Even though you feel that you may not be able to confide in them, it can help you feel less lonely while doing something you enjoy. It also helps to get us out of our own head, especially if you've got some unpleasant thoughts going around.

We are all here for your Lily, and hope that you will reach out again so we can support you and let you know that you are not alone. Congratulations once again for being admitted as a lawyer!

All the best,
Blake 🙂

[mocha delight]

First welcome to the forums, two congrats and three if you ever need to chat I’m here for you ok

[hob2]

Lawer ! wow big ask!

sounds like u need to be kink to yurself a bit after such bigjob !

so take it easy for a while; u might come around & feel better