Hello McMarbles, I'm hearing that you're struggling quite a bit and don't feel that you know how to climb out of the dark side, but that you are also very optimistic and positive generally. If you think about the times when you are feeling optimistic and positive, what are you doing differently to when you're feeling depressed?
For me, I found that staying afloat did require acting against my depressed or anxious instincts sometimes. Making plans to see friends, to be social, even when I didn't feel like it, and keeping those plans. Often I found that even if I dreaded keeping those plans, I always felt better after doing it, and each time I did, it was a little boost to the confidence that things could be different. Sometimes I would give myself little incentives to keep the plans, a comfort thing just for myself. For example, if I can go out for an hour, I can spend time watching my favourite movie when I get home.
Hopefully others may have some ideas too.
