Hi everyone

[Homebound]

Just discovered this forum, wish I had sooner! Have been reading posts on various threads and it saved me this weekend, after another episode. I'm tired of what I've become, and I'm guilt ridden for what my beautiful son has endured because his mum is so damaged. I've just started unpacking all my emotional stuff, and the process of healing is hideous in itself. I blame myself for everything and find it hard to be assertive as when I speak up about an injustice I inevitably just get emotional and look like the crazy one. But not taking action just adds to my baggage from the past and swirls in my head. My diagnosis is Major Depression, dysthymia and Borderline PD was briefly mentioned in a psyche report by a psychiatrist when I was first hospitalised, but it was never discussed with me. I notice symptoms of ADD, lack of focus, unable to concentrate or learn new things, but I have no concrete diagnosis apart from the Depression. Any advice would be much appreciated on what threads to read especially advice about learning to be assertive and speak up at the time of an event rather than bottle it up and then explode. That's been my usual method, and it has destroyed the lives of both my son and I as it lead to me being misunderstood getting in trouble with the law in the past. Thank you in advance

[Homebound]

Hi Wayne, hope you have had a good day. It's true that there are good gp's out there, I feel bad for venting that out, I've had one good one, who really went all out to help me. A terrific woman! I don't know if we're allowed to share names of good gp's here? If we are, I'd love to recommend her, she's in St Kilda, Victoria.

Being controlled loses you to yourself, if that makes sense. I'm working on regaining my sense of self, it's a tough road, but, I really want to know who I am for the first time in my life!

Thankyou so much for checking in, you are a wonderful person! 🙂

[Evilnut]

Hi HB don't feel bad about venting your anger as this the place were can do it no one will judge you as long as you keep between the rules no problem. Venting is a natural emotion it will help others to know how you are felling. Don't stress about. we can't swop name's as I live in another state.

You're sounding better from the first time we posted to now. keep it going read threads other peoples write.

Cheers evilnut

[RandR]

Of course and he sounds like a great young man from what you have said. The journey to recovery is never easy nor straight forward. It takes time, patience, accountability, faith and persistence. I wish you all the very best and hope your commitment and trying to constantly improve leads you the outcome you and your son are seeking.
Thanks again 🙂

[Evilnut]

Hi home bound hope u r feeling good to day. As I have been out and about just thought I would send you a shout out.

Cherrs from the evil one or the nut maybe from Wayne I am confused maybe Dr was wright I am nuts lol

[Homebound]

Hi Rand, I appreciate your encouragement, my son is an incredible young person, he has been through a lot himself. He was bullied during school which really knocked his confidence about. On that note, I would like to start a thread about school bullying to help students with advice from lived experience, but to also empower them with the legal obligations that schools have to them. I am currently compiling a complaint to the Ombudsman here in Victoria relating to a case of bullying my son was subjected to by another student, which was not dealt with according to policy. I'd like to be a resource bullied students can use, to advise them and empower them to take action. Where do you think it best I start that thread here?

[Homebound]

Hi Wayne! I'm busy righting some wrongs, I've realised that injustice really plays on my mental health, and I'm feeling stronger now to take action.

Dont worry, I get called crazy all the time by people who simply don't get that my intenseness derives from an innate need to get to the truth, I can't stand lies and bullying! My self esteem has been eroded due to it, and I have strong reactions now to injustices that most people just turn a blind eye to, I simply can't do that! I need to take action, but it's hard when you're battling crippling depression. I have to wait for that rare spell of relief from it, and I try to get as much done as I can before the next dark cloud comes. Life is tiring, but, I'll never stop trying.

i hope you are well today, so lovely to hear from you🙂

[RandR]

Hi @Homebound,

I'm sorry to hear that your son was subjected to bullying. I know that feeling and also experienced it during primary school. Most certainly teaches you a lot of life lessons at a very young age.

That is a great idea and good on you for taking the initiative.

Perhaps try the 'Young people' thread - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/young-people

Best of luck and let me know how you go 🙂