Hi everyone

[Jhcoffee]

Hi everyone, just joined tonight as I've been going through anxiety, depression and panic attacks for 9 years now. Over the years it comes on , then goes away, meds seemed to make me worse. So u medicated as such. 

the last 3-5 months panic attacks and anxiety have come back with such a force that I've been hospitalised 3 times, and almost house. Can't drive further than 4-6klms.

Im going crazy. I don't know about you guys but I feel like I need to have a massive fit of yelling, screaming, and just getting it out sometimes. I cry a lot though.

i know the people around me try to understand but basically they are useless. My friends have all but given up..... I get the occasional call, but no visits from anyone. I'm on my own during school hours with nothing to do. Except the mounting house work , which I've employed a cleaner for. I know lazy ..... but it helps me at the moment.

i feel like I'm letting my girls down they are 12-14. The loves of my life, can barely get the, to school most days.so they catch public transport. They have been really helpful. They truly are my miracles.

My partner is trying. Very hard. We own a construction company so he is out of the house at 5.15am and not home till after 6 most nights. He's tired and wants/needs a cooked meal, but tonight had Vegemite on toast (lol, another members name).....

i have really great self esteem, way too much confidence, yet feel helpless, and like I'm disappointing everyone. My panic is now almost daily.

anyway, nice to meet you all, hope to make some friends.

[Croix]

Dear Jhcoffee~

Welcome. You sound as if you have had a very hard time this last nine years. The overall effect is discouraging, exhausting and most probably frightening too. I found it breeds isolation on top of everything else.

Not to be able to resort to meds is a real problem. May I ask if you have trialed a fair number of different ones -and different dosages? I had to go for a very long time while my psych went though a sort of medical trial and error process to find what worked for me. Eventually we got more or less there, though not before hospitalization featured too.

You don't sound crazy, you do sound very stressed. And no, its not lazy not being able to cope with the work, it's a symptom, I've been exactly the same, and felt just as guilty and despised myself as a result.

Your daughters sound lovely, and one of the things I really believe is that children not only can help, but benefit themselves from doing so. Whether it is organizing their transport or comforting mum with a cuppa self esteem and self reliance develops.

Your family sounds a unit. Your husband pretty good too. To have this understanding is a real boon. I'd not be here without the strength, love and care of my wife.

Trying to support someone with your illness is a tricky thing to attempt. Most friends, although wishing well, can fall into a couple of traps. The first is the desire to do no harm, as if talking will push someone over some sort of edge -so they say nothing. The second is the idea that they can 'fix' things -so when that does not happen they run out of steam. Being aware they cannot do much except sympathize and be on hand can change how they react. They don't feel lost or that they are failing.

Feeling helpless and that you are letting others down too is a symptom. If you discovered you had diabetes or some other physical ailment I doubt you would feel the same way. Depression and anxiety are just illnesses too.

You will make friends here, as many have found out. Do feel free to browse around to see how others have managed. Also keep posting, you can do the text equivalent of that yelling out you were talking about, you'd be welcome

Croix

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Jhcoffee

Welcome to our forums. I hope you find them useful and supportive.

Sounds like you have been battling for a very long time. I am sure that has taken its toll in different ways. However as Croix has mentioned, you have a fabulous support unit who love you so much.

Besides the meds what else have you tried to manage your illness? I tried everything from seeing a psychologist to mindfulness to flotation tanks to acupuncture etc. My management strategy now is a combination of exercise, yoga, diet and medication. However if I feel that things are building then I go straight back to the psychologist and meditation - in addition to the other strategies.

Regarding your extended support network, have you tried organising some catch up with friends and family? Maybe you need some distractions like a new hobby or some great books so that you take a break from your mind for a little while - I found that when I was at my worst that time was my worst enemy as I would over catastrophise about everything.

Unfortunately many of us feel the way you do, but it is possible to get onto the straight and narrow!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Blue Jane