Hi everyone, this is all new to me

[Brige]

Hi there, I’ve been kind of looking around here for the past day thinking if I should say hi. I’m a woman in my late fifties, work, have a partner.  It’s been a bit of a difficult year as my partner was involved in a motor bike accident and suffered injuries to both arms.  The injuries are still yet to recover but life is kind of back to a version of normal.  Our relationship changed overnight in which I was thrust into a carers role with him depending on me for everything.  It was horrible seeing the person I love most in the world in this situation due to the carelessness of a motor car driver.  He couldn’t use his arms properly and it took some readjusting of our lives.  I took time off from work, then eventually back to the office as he got better. Nobody did my job for the 2 months I was away.  The pressure to get through my work was enormous to me who already was when I look back, mildly depressed and anxious.  I ignored it and kept going as to me it would show I was weak.  I more felt I had to show a brave face to my partner, so kept it all bottled away.  Of course, I was and still am worried about my partner and have had days where I worry about him going out and about.  I deal with at times in my job difficult customers.  Last week everything kind of came to a head when I think I had an anxiety attack at work.  I was embarrassed but in the end spoke to my manager about how I’ve been feeling particularly in the days leading up to this moment.  I’ve had these immense anxiety feelings before but there usually triggered by something that’s happened.  I think with what this year’s been this has been the result of immense stress I’ve tried to hide from everyone this year.  I’m not feeling great but again I’m trying to put a brave face on.  I’m at a loss as to where I start to get help and what to do.  I thought this is probably a good place to start as I’m sure there’s a lot of you who completely understand.  I’m a little scared as I don’t want to get any worse as I want to enjoy life and feel good again.  

[Guest_1282]

Yeah look that sounds like a lot, never find talking to the manager at work helps me but has to be done sometimes. At some points, but yeah sounds like a lot and yeah I think I have those moments at work. Without even knowing like just "whatever, meh" anyway. But yeah hope you're feeling, going alright and that your partner is going along best he can with things now  

[Guest_1282]

But Id say try and see a psych on a care plan- if u can get one from wherever u r in Aus. Mental Health care plan is the one

[indigo22]

Hi Brige,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for having the courage to reach out. Firstly, I am so sorry for what you have been dealing with, it must have been a bit overwhelming when the accident happened. It sounds like you have taken good care of your partner and put your needs in the background, as we do when someone needs us to be present for them. Now you need to bring your needs to the surface and begin healing yourself, totally understandable. The forum is a kind non-judgemental community to give you support, there are indeed many who completely understand and I encourage you to post whenever you feel the need. I also think you should reach out to the help line and get some advice, it may be that some counselling would be helpful to alleviate some of the anxiety you are going through. I would be interested to know how the talk with the manager went, did they offer you some assistance? I am sorry I have not responded sooner, I have been tied up and haven't put in a lot of time on the forum this past week, but I will follow this post as I will get a notification when you post again. Try not to let your anxiety get the better of you, there is help available and you are not alone, we will be here to support you.

Sending you a big hug and some extra strength to keep you going.

indigo22