Hey (warning: bad depressions)
(Y'know it's bad when you accidentally post a 2499 character post before your introduction. And that's not even scraping the top. I am so sorry about that.)
But yeah. I got major depression, general and social anxiety going on 3 years now. Have been in hospital once (best 2 weeks of my life). Currently looking for more diagnoses to make me feel less like an absolute pile of useless nothing, but so far haven't really got any. Just like....one symptom from each. Illness cocktail moment.
'Sorry', 'idk', and 'i hate myself' are 90% of my vocab.
Came here because I have no-one else to talk to. My one best friend really needs some time when i am not ranting, I may have procured a very unhelpful team of psychologists and psychiatrists, and I can't talk to my family even if they are very supportive.
No meds but fruiting want them. Very much trapped. Suicidal, never attempted. Self harm almost every day. Hate every part of myself. Used to enjoy writing g/t before my depression made it bad.
Fun fact: I get super lucid dreams, i can't control them consistently yet. But can feel everything and make choices. It's very sick being spiderman 😉 Getting your hands cut off by doc ock is not so fun.
Good to be here.
The feeling of always having done so,ething wrong is common in trauma survivors.
No one is here to judge you or put u down. Ppl here openly admit we are struggling, and as such co,e froma place of how can we relate or share, rather than judge or distance from.