Helping our Son

[NannyP]

Hi, our son is going through a tough time after getting fired from his job. He's a 31yo husband and father to a 7 mo little boy. Once he was informed that he's no longer emplyed, he suffered a panic attack and ended up in hospital overnight. This happened 5 days ago and no matter how much his wife, my husband and I, and some great friends reassure him that he will find something more, he is totally devastated and feels he's let everyone down being the main breadwinner. He's a great communicator which is great, but we've never really had much experience with anyone in our family with anxiety or depression and we feel hopeless sometimes in our reaponse to him. He is very respected in our community and he feels ashaned, humiliated and really cares what people think of him. We all love him so much and want him to feel good about himself. He is seeing a counseller, so we're hoping that will help him aling. Any advice on how we can support him would be very much appreciated

[Aaronsis]

Hi NannyP

Welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry that your family are going through the pain and the struggles that we are currently facing. It is great you have come to get some support and some comfort at this time when I can hear how desperate you are for your son, he is so very lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive family.

You mention a great point and that was "reassuring him that he will find something more", we as humans feel like if we are not "solving" then we are not helping. I too am learning this and mostly people who are struggling just want to know that there are people who will sit and listen, to sit with them and support them in their tears and anger and frustrations and to know that they are not alone. It is natural to try to come up with ways in which he is going to be OK and to help him "fix' this. We cannot fix this for him and so being there to support is so much more important right now.

It is hard but letting him talk and cry and as you mentioned he is a good communicator that is wonderful that he is talking about how he is feeling. The best thing you can do is listen and let him talk, you can even out rightly ask him what you can do so he feels supported, it might be something you didn't even think of, he also may not know, which is fine, as long as you are there, talking and holding him and letting him feel loved, as you are doing.

It is great he is getting some professional help too, that is really helpful to him and to you as a family to know that he is getting some good solid advice to manage the feelings and the thoughts. I hope his wife can be apart of the sessions too at some point so they can work out what works for him as far as support goes and what makes him feel worse.

Also I think being there for his wife and child so that they are better equipped to support him too, maybe a meal or two or doing a load of washing too, anything that lets her be with her husband, if in fact she can have that with the current restrictions, and to help her to cope too.

We are here for you, to chat and to get some of these feelings off your chest and to help your son, he is so lucky to have such a wonderful supportive family.

Hugs to you

Sarah