Getting desparate

[Pixie_Needle]

I an a 55 tr old woman who has lived with high anxiety my whole life.

mostly I cope by treating physical symptoms

now I have been very sick, I suffer pancreatic attacks. I am supposed to have an endoscopy with camera for a full diagnosis as to why Im getting them.

possibilities are pancreatic cancer, micro stones or pancreatic immune deficiency disease.

doctor tells me its serious unfortunately due to my unreasonable high anxiety and major panic attacks I keep deferring procedure.

any advice as to how to go get this done, I get soo scared I have rescheduled endoscopy in past 10 times.

I am driving myself crazy knowing I need this maybe to survive but still cant make myself go get it done.

I try relaxing, breathing etc but have a block in my mind which confirms if I cancel it I feel better mentally.

Help??

[therising]

Hi Pixie Needle

I hear your stress and it's perfectly understandable.

Myself, I experience a lot of stress when it comes to anything related to a general anesthetic. One of the ways I've managed to deal with this over the years involves talking to the people involved in the procedure before the procedure is done. I meet them, explain my stress and why it exists, ask them to reassure me that the procedure/operation is something they're very familiar with, ask them how I can feel more reassured and the list goes on. A lot of the time I've had specialists (including the anesthesiologists) tell me they come across people who feel like I do quite often. They are amazing the way they've guided me through to feeling more relaxed. They've made a thoughtful connection with me which has made the difference. I still feel anxious but nowhere near as anxious as I did before I started managing this way.

If specialists are made aware, ahead of time, how we feel then they're able to help us manage the procedure. It becomes a highly considerate team effort.

I live my life with the idea 'My body is giving me a message'. The question is always 'What is it saying?' In the case of anxiety, it's saying 'You need to calm down. How are we going to manage this?' I say 'we' because my mind and body are a team. I may use breathing techniques, I might decide to become more physically active (so as to get out of my head or you could say 'lose my mind' for a little while), I may employ others' reassurance and guidance to help me manage. I know I can't stay in a state of dis-ease. My body won't tolerate it without disease being a long term consideration, as a side effect.

Wondering if you've ever considered holistic treatment of some nature. Holistic practitioners explore the links between mental dis-ease and physical disease. A holistic practitioner would still refer you for an exploratory procedure, to rule out serious issues, but they'd cover other possible links to what the body is communicating, such as psychological links, dietary links and so on.

I hope this has helped a little and I hope the results you find lead you in a positive direction.

🙂