Hello from me.

[Caelle]

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. First time I have been on here. Not sure what to write. I have had depression and anxiety for over half my life. I am not coping the best with this new world of mine. I have to adult children at home son is 21 and doesn't do a damn thing, daughter is 18, she is at school and does help a little bit around the house, except when her boyfriend is here. Husband has been out of work due to injury for nine months. I work four days and I am still doing 90% of all home duties. Husband is drinking to much and taken up smoking secretly, which I only just found out about (accidentally), I feel betrayed and lied to.
Especially since I'm the one who is trying to hold everything together, money wise as well as cooking, cleaning etc.

I have lost myself.

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, Caelle

It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight. We can hear how lost and overwhelmed that you're feeling, but please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this difficult time.

Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? Please feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

Many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.
 

[monkey_magic]

Hi Caelle,

Welcome to BB,

It's a shame almost everything is left up to you and the others don't help enough around the house.

Have you tried sitting them down and calmly asked them that you can't manage everything on your own and need some help.

I once lived in a sharehouse where we each had our jobs once a fortnight to do between the four of us on the fridge. It worked out well and the house was clean. Maybe have a house chore list on the fridge so each person does a share.

I'd also feel betrayed if my husband had taken up smoking secretly. Have you tried talking to him to find out what has caused him to start smoking?

It sounds as though you are taking up so much slack. I think it's time the others chip in so you can put your feet up and find things to indulge in.

Working all the time can be draining and exhausting and tiring if no one else pulling their weight.

I hope you can get some reprieve.

[geoff]

Hello Caelle, and a warm welcome.

It's always lovely to have new people post on the forum, we only wish it was under better circumstances.

I too am sorry for the situation you are in, with the cost of alcohol and cigarettes now added onto the grocery bill putting pressure on you, especially when you're doing 90% of the household work.

Is it possible and are you strong enough to go on strike, or move out to a sister's house, ad another concern is whether your son is contributing towards rent and groceries.

Best wishes.

Geoff.