Hello

[Great_Aussie_dream_is_fic]

Finding it hard to get help.

When I'm at my lowest point I'm not seeking help often choosing to be alone, often I'm not realizing I'm there.

When I'm OK its easy to talk but counselors don't see me at my low point and advice they give when I'm coping is always go to a happy place remember happy thoughts happy times, yea I so want to tell them where they can shove that.

Its 3:30am and I have been trying to write here for 2hrs and I feel lost, what to write, I want to sleep, I want a night without nightmares I'm an adult who fears sleeping.

I'm not at my low point in my cycle but its now I ask for help and struggle to get it, later when I need it I'm not looking for it often choosing to isolate myself and if help is offered I'm not recognizing it when I need it the most.

I recognize I have depression and have had it for years and I keep changing how I deal with it but I'm at a loss and desperate because its affecting my work, my family and the damage is both financial and relationships which feeds back quickening my cycle.

And in the last few months some things have over stressed me for no logical reason, its world mental health day so I have made a decision to try again for help.

[PolarBear_-_]

Your Not Alone !

Well done for joining us here. .

Thanks for taking hours not knowing what to write.

What you have written has expressed things much better

Than I could of said it.

I agree with all you have said !

I thank the people who try & help

But its hard after I walk away still

Feeling like I'm getting no where.

4.30am now. Thanks for listening

Appreciated your thoughts, and

Wish you strength. PBear

[geoff]

hello GADF, it's always very difficult to write your first post, you hum and ha, but really feel the need to ask for help, but scared of what might happen, anyway you start writing then you edit it and then finally delete, annoyed that it wasn't finished and then posted, please don't worry we were all the same, and you're no different.
Happy times and happy places, well I don't think any of these exist when you have depression, not unless you pretend.
I have to totally agree with your comments ' when I need it I'm not looking for it often choosing to isolate myself and if help is offered I'm not recognizing it', straight to the point, and unfortunately this is what happens, and you must tell your counsellors that at the moment there are no 'happy times or happy places' and by simply telling me this is only rubbish, I can't pretend anymore, I'm too exhausted, I need your help to get me there.
There is no logic with depression, it has it's own mind, it's own way, it's no different than trying to open a safe where the hell do you start, well if you aren't happy with this counsellor then find someone else, don't get strung along with someone who doesn't understand your needs, it's a waste of time and money.
Both your 'both financial and relationships' are suffering, so if you want I'd like to know a bit more about this, but only if you want to, I'm sorry, but the more we know the better help we can be. Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Great Aussie dream is fiction,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out.

I have really mixed feelings while reading your post. On one hand I'm so glad that you were able to reach out, share what's going on for you and work up the courage to post and on the other hand I feel so incredibly frustrated that counsellors told you to 'think happy thoughts and remember happy times'. What sort of counsellor is that?

I can see that you've been struggling with this for a while and recognising that it's becoming a really unhealthy cycle. I think that coming online is a huge step and I'm happy that you decided to join us.

Sadly though I really do think that the best way forward is counselling especially since it's been going on for a while. Would you be open to seeing a different one? It'd be interesting to know too who you saw - like if they were an actual counsellor (accredited one), a non-accredited one (people in Australia can act as counsellors without being accredited), a mental health nurse, a psychologist, psychiatrist etc - lots of different people can act as counsellors and they will all have different backgrounds and approaches. Often training can play a big role too in finding one who is experienced in depression - knowing how intensely it can affect you even when it doesn't appear that way to most people.

I personally have seen a couple and had a terrible experience with them and then found a great one later; I think that it is about finding the right one, who can take you seriously and not dismiss you with comments like those. I also totally agree with Geoff in that sometimes it can help to be assertive. You deserve to get some help and be validated for what you're going through.

Hope this helps,