Hello! Feeling lost and uncertain about my future

[NahiV]

Hello. This is my first post in this forum.

A bit about me. I moved to Australia to study in 2015 and met my husband here. I now live with him and his family and they are all lovely. However, I graduated almost two years ago and am still not able to find a job in my field of study. Mostly due to my visa status (but I have applied for a permanent visa to stay here which is still in progress). Lately, I have been feeling so emotionally drained, like its hopeless for me to find a good job which will help me and my husband to move out of my in law's place and have a home of our own. My husband has schizophrenia and anxiety and is unable to work right now. I am also always concerned about him and wondering if I am doing enough to support him. I have not seen my own parents for over 3 years and my mum always cries on the phone about missing me and how I am not able to have a career yet. I am turning 27 soon, and I feel like I have achieved nothing. Lately, I have been feeling intense anger and irritation over people around me. I am constantly trying to distract myself with food and tv shows and feeling lethargic and hopeless. I still apply for jobs, but I feel like its useless unless I actually get my PR and people will actually want to hire me for permanent jobs. I feel like a failure, that I am not able to support my husband properly.

[Guest_2496]

Hi Nahi

Sounds like you've been very busy since you arrived here, and you're trying hard to be supportive to your husband - I'm wondering do you have anyone that supports you? Do you have any other family members of your own here, friends, a dr you can confide in regarding supporting your husband with his mental health?

In terms of work...I know this won't bring in $ but volunteering can help you feel you have some purpose, and if it's possible to do some volunteer work within the field you've studied there's always a chance it can lead to work. Just a thought.

[loouuiiee]

You completed your studies and got a qualification! That is a fantastic achievement you should be proud of.

You are somehow managing without seeing your own family for 3 years! You are allowed to feel down. It is natural that you miss them and completely normal.

I can understand that you want to support your husband, but do not feel it is all up to you!

There are lots of support services he can look in to and see if he can get assistance.

I think you are being too harsh on yourself.

You are clearly a very bright and devoted individual and with such wonderful qualities any employer would be lucky to have you!

[Euphie]

Hi Nahi,

I want to let you know you are not alone, I am facing the same issue as you.

I was also a oversea student, and finished my master last year, looking for job in my field of study but failed while working in a small office that didn’t pay any super, I found that I cannot become one of them, I feel so isolated because I am not having the same religion as them somehow. And I feel that I have been treated so unfair owing to the low amount of salary, non-super. I just resigned now, and without any other job to live. I feel so lost about where the future is, so I am ask my mother for advice, she blamed me that I am not strong enough. That is quite true, I feel like I am totally a loser and coward,. You don’t need to worry too much, you are not alone, there is someone like me who is in the same situation and stand same side with you.

[NahiV]

Thank you for your reply and kind words :).

My husband is trying to get his Newstart restarted (he stopped it for a while due to some issues with his Job services provider). My shifts at the place I work has been greatly reduced, so I am not bringing in as much as I used to. I am also doing a training and internship program to enhance my skills in some Accounting softwares. However most days I dont feel like studying or working on anything because it feels like I will just be rejected regardless.

As for support my husband's parents are wonderful, however they do not really understand what my husband goes through. They just think that everyone in their family has worked, so why is my husband unable to work? Its sometimes frustrating because they keep asking me if my husband is alright, has he been okay today and I just dont know what answer to give them? Living with them is hard on my husband too, as he would love to move out, but we just cant afford it right now.

Thank you for your help, I will try keep my head up 🙂

[NahiV]

Thank you for your reply. I dont have any family members here, the only family I have here is my husband and his family. In a way, that is good because my father was/is very abusive and toxic and I have suffered a lot of physical and verbal abuse from him. I do miss my mother a lot though.

My husband has stopped seeing his pyschiatrist and stopped his medication as well. Its very worrying to me, and I try to keep as close to him as I can so I know how he is doing. So far, he seems okay, but I still worry a lot.

I am currently doing a training program (counts as internship), and I hope that will give me some skills to put on my CV. I will look for volunteer work in my field as well.

Thank you.

[NahiV]

Hi Euphie,

I am sorry you are in this situation. We, as migrants find it so difficult to get jobs and be accepted here. I hope you have some support here (friends and such) that you can confide in. You are a strong person and I am sure you will find a great job someplace else in the near future. We must not give up :). Do message me if you ever need someone to talk to!