First time seeking help

[JoandBaby]

I am pregnant and alone. I have never done this before or have tried to seek help from anyone because I never felt I couldn't get through something. I dont know how I will get through this.
I have been having suicidal thoughts and i know i won't go through with it but I keep thinking of ways to harm myself or end my life. I usually speak to someone when I have any problems, life problems but this time I can't and it's too deep and personal. I don't want to call any hotline and not sure if I can find a reputable psychologist or psychiatrist to speak to... its not something that I can cover off in an hour and wait until the next session to continues the discussion. I wish I was never in this situation. How did I get here? What am I going to do? How can I get through this. There was one thing I always feared and that was being a single mum.
..its like it has manifested itself but in a negative way. I am so alone. I dont know where to go because its so tangled and deep and so personal. I have so many questions. I am so deeply hurt. I can't stop crying. I just want to be away from everything and everyone. I font know what to do. I am trying to be reasonable and take the right steps to plan my life out but this was the last thing I thought that could ever happen to me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi JoandBaby,
Welcome to the forum and our friendly community!
We are so glad that you decided to reach out even thou you never did it before. It is not easy to seek help and we are so happy that you decided to take this step.
We are also sorry to see that you are struggling so much and that you feel so alone in this. We hope that you will connect with our community as they are very supportive and this space can be safe place for sensitive conversations.
We would also like to encourage you to consider calling our counsellors at Beyond blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport
Or you can call our friends at Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 or Life Line 13 11 14.
We appreciate that reaching out is not easy and we hope that you will keep doing it and find the support that you need.
Warmly,
Sophie
 
 

[geoff]

Hello Joandbaby, Sophie has given you a warm welcoming.

How you are feeling is not something that anybody can dismiss easily, especially if you are alone in a situation like this, and understand your concern about contacting a hotline as you say, sometimes people do this in desperation and should be congratulated, while others need to talk in another way.

All of this depends on the person, the situation and what the circumstances they have to face and the questions you are asking yourself may vary from day to day.

I am really sorry you're a single mum, with the prospect of your future to be unknown and between your sessions, there can be much you can do, but they need to be small tasks and if you anticipate there to be large jobs, then these need to be broken down into sections so you can cope.

The issues you are trying to split up, that seem too much for you to do, then list them on some paper, do what you believe you can and those you have to push aside, then try and divide these up into small sections.

We feel for you and want to help you.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear JoandBaby

Hello and welcome to the forum. It can be very daunting to post here for the first time so many congratulations for doing this.

I am sorry you are in this difficult position and I presume from your post that dad is not around. That does make it a lot tougher. Being a single mom can be very hard. Does your family know you are pregnant? They may not live near by but it's important they know what's happening. Have you seen your GP and set up your antenatal routine? Getting settled in this area will help to bring some routine into your days which can also carry over to the rest of the day.

Do you have a job/at uni/still at school? Again these activities can help to keep you grounded.

When you start to see your GP for your antenatal care you can also tell her/him how you are feeling. You will probably be asked that in any case so be open about your fears and worries. Your GP can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. It does take longer than an hour to tell someone about yourself but do not be put off by this. It is important to get the whole story out. I gather you have been hurt by someone and really do not want to talk about it. Unfortunately the path to healing does mean looking at what has happened and accepting this. This does not mean it's your fault in any way. Standing back a little can give you some perspective on this.

You will need several sessions with a psych of your choice. I know this sounds like dragging everything out. Counseling involves taking steps, often small ones it seems, around your difficulty. If you really find one aspect of this too hard then move past it to the next. Over time, as you come to trust your therapist more, you will be more able to speak. Waiting between sessions is hard and frustrating I know. However the whole process is meant to be slow and steady so you do not become overwhelmed with everything. I remember one doctor saying this when I wanted to get it all out but I realised after a while it was a good process. I had become overwhelmed at times and that set me back a couple of steps.

Please have a good chat to your doctor. Book a long appointment and be as open as possible both about your emotional well-being and your pregnancy. Please come and chat here as often as you wish. Always someone to answer.

Mary