First time on these forums today

[Lonely51]

Hi

Have just joined the BB forums and I am glad I did but I am not ready to display my photo up yet but I will eventually.

About myself.I am a 51 year old male and I am single,live alone and as my username suggests,I am lonely.I know I am not the only one in the world who feels lonely.I think that is why I decided to join this forum to see if it helps me even just a little bit.I do have family members I can talk to but sometimes I am unable to that,I have a wonderful and very supportive GP.I am also seeing a psychologist but I am having trouble making a "connection" with her and I don't always find the right things to say at the time.Nothing seems in my mind anyway to be accomplished at the end of the 50 minute sessions. I could find another one I guess who is more on my level which is what I will most likely be doing.

Anyway,I have probably gone on too long in my introduction but I look forward to hearing back with your thoughts and I certainly hope I can be of some help as well.

[White_Rose]

Dear Lonely

Hello and welcome. Perhaps you could change your user name to Alone. Not quite as hard. Introductions are only too long if you go over the 2500 characters limit. Then BB will tell you to shorten it.

Good you have a supportive GP. How long have you been seeing your psych? It takes a few sessions to make that connection, but if you have seen her more than about five times, I agree it's time to move on. Would you make a connection with a male psych do you think?

I have not put up my photo yet and I have been here for more than two years. Afraid of frightening the horses.

Many people find joining the crowd at the BB cafe very enjoyable. You will find it on the Community Board forum right at the end of the first page. Drop in for anything you would like to eat or drink and chat about what you find interesting. The cafe owners have it all. You will find a warm welcome.

To return to your psych, who does the most talking? It is usually the person looking for help. The psych's role is to listen for much of the time. Have you come to any conclusion about what you want from these sessions? It may be more fruitful if you can discuss this and see where it leads.

Would you tell us a little more about yourself? Do you have a job? Oh dear! That sounds like I am checking out your credentials. I ask because I don't know what you do all day. Jobs usually take up a great deal of time. What are your interests? Do you like making things or messing about with tools and pieces of wood? And last question, have you heard of the Men's Shed organisation? You can search for links to this organisation. It a national organisation and I think there are branches in all states and in a great many towns.

The idea is, as you may have guessed, for men to congregate and make stuff or teach others to make stuff. It's apparently a great place to chat over coffee. I think women are banned. You may find it a congenial place to go regardless of your interest in handy work. It could also lead to finding other interests and people.

Whatever you decide, please write in again.

Mary

[Lonely51]

Thanks for your reply Mary.I think I will use a graphic instead of a photo of me as I recently found out on an online dating site I have since removed myself from,the moment my photo was uploaded,I literally did more than frighten the horses,they went bolting never to be seen again.

I do have a job.I am sort of happy in it but was more happy when I first started 10 years ago the organisation I work for prefers the younger crowd these days as opposed to people like me at my age who are considered to be in the way,well that is my view on it.I guess I am lucky to have the job I am in considering the way things are at the moment.I have been home for three weeks because I had an operation after an accident I had at work and I go back on Monday.Very nervous about it for some strange reason.

I seen my psychologist about five or six times now and I have decided to move on.Have found someone local to me which is a plus and I know I will have to basically start again from scratch again.The councillors being male or female is not an issue for me.My feeling was I was not really being listened to.It is very hard to explain but I felt after each session I would come out not feeling any better.Sure each session is a two way street.Most of the talking is 50/50.

I have heard of the Men's Shed organisation and have checked out their website.

I am not very good with any kind of handy work with wood etc,but I am very good with electronics and computers.

Anyway,thanks for getting back to me.

[White_Rose]

Hello Lonely

Gosh, that was a fast response. sad about the psych but it's horses for courses. Going to a local practitioner is handy. Saves all that time, and money, traveling. I have seen a couple of psychs and found some listen, others appear to hear what they choose.

I have always thought employers are short sighted when they only want young employees. Sometimes it's a wages thing but usually they want to brashness of young people. They forget experience, both at work and in life generally, is a valuable commodity.

If you decide that the Men's Shed is worth a look I'm certain they will be happy to use your technological expertise.

Do you feel well enough to return to work? I hope all is well when you return. I had the best part of six months off work with an illness. Couldn't claim WorkCover for it and my sick leave ran out. Fortunately my superannuation has cover for sick leave.

If you would like to continue to chat, please do so.

Mary

[Solosombra]

Hello lonely!

Is there another name you don't mind going by? If not lonely is just fine.

I'm also new to bb I actually joined a few hours ago And still tryna open myself up too all this as well so like Mary said if you wish to keep talking I'll be up for awhile longer! Hope work goes well for you and hope your employees lose there short sightedness and stop treating you that way.

Good wishes your way

Kiamau

[Lonely51]

Thanks Mary & Kiamau. My name is actually Andrew.

Mary , you basically summed it up.The younger,more hip people where I work are as brash and as arrogant as you can get.Years of service mean nothing and I find it very difficult to fit in there.I suspect I won't be there much longer as I don't fit the "image" whatever that is.I have been literally told that.I am not the only one with years of service & experience going through the same issues as me.Fortunately though,my accident was covered by Workcover.

After my last forum post this evening,I rang my parents to say hi and I am going over to see them for lunch and a chat tomorrow.They don't know I see a psychologist and take anti-depressent medication(forgot to mention that)as I don't want to worry them.I am OK but I the big issue for me is loneliness and I don't deal with it very well sometimes.This evening was one of those occasions so a phone call with a familiar voice on the other end always helps but I can never say the real reason I rung.

I don't have a partner and find it hard to form relationships.I am in a Meetup group and have some friends out of that but we only really see each other a couple of times a month.Has been a blessing being in this group as it was formed around people who suffer from Shyness,Anxiety & Depression,so everyone has that one thing in common.

Thanks again Mary & Kiamau,hear from you soon - Andrew