Finally learning that Depression is

[ABC17]

Not my fault, a work in progress. It has been a rough few years. I finally found a supportive and very patient team. I am not near the end, but have progressed from the scared and scarred clammed shell I fell into the illness at the beginning. I could never have written this...what I want is to know what helped others. Beside a professional team I am in this solo, I hope to find a supportive community.

[White_Rose]

Dear ABC17
Hello and welcome to the forums. Congratulations on finding a supportive team, they are pure gold. The scars may
look ugly but they will remind you of how far you have come. I know the scars are internal and do not show on the
outside but you know about them. Congratulations also on getting to this point. It's a long and hard journey and I
imagine there were times when you wanted to give up. In the end it's our determination to get well that carries us over
the line.

As you can probably guess, we all have our different help systems. Beyond Blue is a good place to start. You have asked
the question here and you will get responses. There are the different forums which are worth reading, browse around
and read what others have experienced and learned from. Feel free to join in any of the conversations, it's good way to
pick up ideas that resonate with you. Sadly there is no one size fits all.

What helps me is being with other people. Not to talk about my problems but to talk and listen to what others say. Not
being a real social butterfly I enjoy being at home where I make items such as dresses for my granddaughter.
I knit and embroider but I also have outdoor activities such as gardening. There is nothing like it to put our lives in
proportion. It's not for everyone as many have no outdoor space. So grow plants in pots.

Other activities that help include meditating which helps to calm the inner me, walking appeals to many and has its own
benefits. Joining some community activity groups, drama, sport, book club, church, walking group, volunteering
somewhere that feels good to you. Volunteering has its own rewards, the pleasure of helping someone else. This is a
great way to heal. I have several volunteer roles and thoroughly enjoy myself. Look at what activity appeals to you and
then find a niche where you can help. Aged care homes, animal pounds, coaching junior teams in various sports though
you will need a Blue Card for this. The organisation will arrange this.

Writing to others here on the forum is a huge way to forget yourself and care for others. This is the point, not to
concentrate on getting help for yourself but by seeing where you can add value. Op shops are often short staffed and welcome new people to work
there.

Mary

[geoff]

hello ABC, welcome to the site and I don't think anyone should be blamed for getting depression, because it has the ability to take over at any particular time, especially when you least expect it and there are certain triggers which will set it off.
There is without question a very tough illness to try and understand why it actually happens, sometimes it maybe because we've lost a family member or someone dear to us, other times it's just an incipient mo***rel.
There are many ways people try and get themselves back on track, each one differs to how they are able to move forward, unfortunately some don't work so they have to find another direction but what does help is talking with other people who have been stuck in the same situation, this will give you some confidence that you're not alone.
Everybody has a story to tell of the ordeal they themselves have been through and there maybe something that's only small they have said that connects with you.
Don't give up and hope to see you around the forum, because talking with us means that it's down to earth and no b****t, it's what has happened to ourselves. Geoff.

[ABC17]

Thank you Geoff for the reminder we are not alone. Depression, Anxiety, Trauma are such horrid beasts that are hard to understand for anyone who has not discovered them. My family left when I admitted what was happening, fear is such an awkward thing and they are ashamed, as you say we have our own stories to tell, and isolation is confronting. There is a long way to go to stop shame, and forums like this might/can help. I am lucky to have a professional team who work hard - knowing this is can be a challenge to find. The chance to hear others stories and have support when it is quiet and harder is comforting. I appreciate your kind words.

[ABC17]

Thank you White Rose, you have been very welcoming. You are right there are times giving up appeared appealing, but it helps to remember that there was success before all this happened and I hope to return. I will take on your advice about checking out all the forums. I also share your interest in gardening, but will leave the knitting to the experts 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello ABC

I have been looking for your thread and discovered it had dropped to page three. How are you going? I don't know why my posts end up in odd lines. I find it confusing. Will need to ask BB if they can fix it.

How do you feel about posting on other threads? It can be a bit scary wondering if what you have to say is useful to others. The most useful way to look at it is that you are providing support to others. You may have just the right words for someone so don't hang back.

I feel sad for you that your family was unable to help and support you. At times we need our friends and family and when we find we have a mental illness is when we need those people the most. I think most people here consider BB to be their family no matter the support they get at home. There is something about talking to others who have walked or are walking the same road as us. People who know how the small things startle us, how apparently insignificant events can take us back to dark times.

I hope you are going well.

Mary