feeling lost

[kristie33]

so i not quite sure how long this has been going on and nowthat ive recognized it as depression i feel as though its always been there well at least since i was 20 or so possibly younger... but over the past 18 months ive been dealing with cervical cancer whuch was operation after operation then resulted in a total hysterectomy leaving my ovaries though. through this process i found myself starting to drink heaps, stealing and being really reckless. Im 31 and have 3 beautiful children and a husband and we just built our first home. I thought once the hysterectomy was done i would start to feel better but i find myself sinking deeper into a dark hole. i feel like a bas parent i dont want to do anything i dont want to get up i feel like i could sleep forever but then i cant get to sleep i fell gulity because im always so tired and feel so sad all the time. i feel like am fat which is stupid i weigh 58kg at 170 cms.. i dont reply to my friends anymore or my family except my younger sister who i tend to put before myself i just dont know how to stop. i go to sleep every damn day telling myself tomorrow i get back to normal and then i fail again. How do i fix myself. 😔

[quirkywords]

Kristie,

am so sorry you have been through so much at such a young age. Cervical cancer at any age is devastating but at your age it will change your lives in many way. Have you thought of contacting a support group for women who have had cervical cancer so you can talk to people who have been through a similar experience.

You may be grieving you may be depressed. Would you consider talking to your doctor and or a counsellor.

Your body and your mind has been through so much so it will affect you.

I think you need help and support . I also feel you need to be kinder to yourself and not expect too much too soon as you have been through such a lot.

I am not sure what normal is but you have changed .

Take care

quirky